"Imitate Love"

Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools, but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are so powerful! You are honored, but we are ridiculed. Even now we go hungry and thirsty, and we don’t have enough clothes to keep warm. We are often beaten and have no home. We work wearily with our own hands to earn our living. We bless those who curse us. We are patient with those who abuse us. We appeal gently when evil things are said about us. Yet we are treated like the world’s garbage, like everybody’s trash—right up to the present moment. I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. So I urge you to imitate me. (1 Corinthians 4:10-16 NLT).

Today’s devotional announces a little bonus as well as an important truth. Soon I will be able to email you an mpeg file of some highlights of messages I have preached through the years. The entire sermon seems to be too big to email and I have not found a way to post them yet. We will be working on that also. That’s the announcement, here’s the truth: There is far more power in imitation rooted in love than blind obedience rooted in fear.

My favorite activity as a youngster was accompanying my Dad fishing. He was either incredibly lucky or very skillful. We always caught as many as we wanted. He always caught more than I did. I remember those days as if they were yesterday. We would rise early and drive to the pier to get some live shrimp for bait and then make our way to the flats off the coast of Galveston. The water was always warm, so we merely waded into the water with our bait boxes in tow. He always wore a baseball style cap, cocked to one side. I never knew why and never thought to question it. I would watch his every move. I tried to imitate each one. I wore my cap the same; waded out to the same spot; baited the hook the same; cast to the same place; and worked the line just as he did. I remember when he’d catch a fish and I wouldn’t, I’d ask, “What’s wrong?” He’d smile his crooked smile and with a glint in his eye, he’d reply, “I guess you’re not holding your mouth right!”

I never did outfish him, but I still tried to imitate his every move. The interesting thing is that I did that not because of some rule or law that he had issued. He never said that I must do the things he did in order to be successful. He simply led the way and my love for him made me want to follow. That’s the point of being a disciple of Christ. He didn’t give us laws and rules; He gave us Himself in grace. Paul caught that and led others the same way. My great hope for you is that you will stop working on your “checklist” of right things to do and begin falling in love with your Savior as never before. If you do that, you’ll do all the right things, but they will come far more easily to you and bring far greater results. Give it a try! Imitate Love!

"Animal Crackers"

OK, I know the last two days have been a little strange, even by my standards! But, sometimes some stuff just catches my attention and God speaks to me. Barnum’s Animal Crackers just happen to be that thing today. I had a box the other day. It just seemed like a “good” snack at the time. As I was eating them I started looking at the various animal shapes. I wondered how many there were? So, I did a little research. I know you are thinking that I have WAY too much time on my hands, but stay with me. They first were produced in 1902. Some claim that there have been a total of 53 different animals while others place the number at 37. Regardless, the current cookie-count regarding different animal shapes in boxes today is 19. These include: 2 bears (one sitting and one standing), a bison, a camel, a cougar, an elephant, a giraffe, a gorilla, a hippo, a hyena, a kangaroo, a koala bear, a lion, a monkey, a rhinoceros, a seal, a sheep, a tiger and a zebra. By the way, the only animals to make it through the entire lifetime of Barnum’s Animal Crackers are bears, elephants, lions and tigers. Some species have seemingly gone extinct over the years. There were only eighteen for the longest time, but for the cracker’s 100th anniversary, a survey was asked as to which animal shape the public would like to see added into the mix. The choices were: koala bear, penguin, walrus or cobra. Thank goodness the koala bear won and the cobra came in last place. As bad as I hate snakes, I’d never be able to open another box if it were included! And here’s the point: When man creates, it will always fall miserably short of God’s work. Here’s our Scripture reading today:

God spoke: "Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life! Birds, fly through the sky over Earth!" God created the huge whales, all the swarm of life in the waters, and every kind and species of flying birds. God saw that it was good. God spoke: "Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind: cattle and reptiles and wild animals—all kinds." And there it was: wild animals of every kind, cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug. God saw that it was good. (Genesis 1:20-25 The Message).

Without getting into a deep discussion of how many and how, let me just say that today conservative estimates of the number of species of animal life numbers somewhere around 1.25 million! I’m amazed by that. God, who created everything, more than we can see, know, or imagine, reached down to me and reconciled me to Himself by the blood of His only Son. To think that God cared so much about me is amazing. To realize that God could have just as easily started over, but didn’t, is grace!

Now, if God cares that much about me to redeem me by this indescribable work of grace how can I ever doubt that He will care for my every need? Nothing escapes His attention. He knows before I even ask. But, when I ask, He answers! What do you need to ask today?

"DNA"

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. (Psalm 139:13-15 NLT).

The illustration at left is a cross-sectional view of our DNA! Looks a lot like a grand stained glass window, doesn’t it? Recently, as I was reading The Grand Weaver, by Ravi Zacharias (which I highly recommend), he mentioned the design of God in our lives and referenced this picture. I had to see it for myself! It is truly incredible to think of how intricately planned and designed each of us are in the mind of God. And, everyone has a different DNA. Their stained glass window will unique to them alone. Certainly the psalmist recognized that truth in our reading today. We are “wonderfully complex.” The question rises, “What difference does that make?” Well, I can think of at least two important things.

1. First, it means that we are not an accident in creation. We are an intentional act of God. Think of it. When God decided to form me, he foreordained every detail of my physical, intellectual, and emotional makeup. Mary compliments me by saying that I really don’t have gray hair. “It’s more silver,” she says. That’s her way of saying that she likes it and it’s attractive. Personally I just think it makes me look old; but, if she likes it, I’m in! The point is that God decided it would be that color as I aged. Of course I can chemically alter that color and there’s nothing wrong with that. But, take it to a deeper level. Since we are not an accident, God has a design and purpose in mind for every detail of our life. That’s a great comfort for me as I face the inevitable difficulties of aging. God has a use for that too!

2. Second, it means I am vital to God’s plan and purpose. If I were not important, then why create me in the first place? That brings hope and encouragement to me. I know that physical illness and infirmity are not a part of God’s ultimate plan. He intended for us to be eternal beings just as He is, but through sin, death and decay has taken its toll. However, death and decay are not the end. God has seen to that as well in His plan. As Zacharias says, “It brings order out of chaos.”

This is the God I can trust with all that I am and hope to be. This is the measure of His grace. The next time you compare yourself to someone else, in any area, physically, intellectually, or emotionally, remember that you are VERY special in God’s plan and purpose. It’s in your DNA! He has made you wonderful! Never doubt it for a moment!

"A Tender Message of Grace"

Every so often I like to explore other translations and paraphrases of the Scripture in my daily readings. I found one today that caught me by surprise:

Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. "The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I'm not keeping it to myself; I'm ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen. Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matthew 11:27-30 The Message).

It is a very familiar and often quoted passage of Scripture; however, I doubt you’ve heard this version quoted very often. I know I haven’t. It speaks of Jesus’ tender message of grace. Isn’t it interesting how Jesus always knew how to locate people? These words spoken thousands of years ago still transcend all time and still apply to us today. It's amazing that over all these centuries, humans repeatedly struggle with the same issues. It seems our trials simply cycle and come back around during every generation. People get tired, worn out, and in some cases, burned out. He knew that and He knew the answer to our weariness.

The key is in what Jesus brought to us. Jesus brings relationship, not religion. The differences between the two are interesting. Religion is a belief system or conviction that one follows and adheres to; while relationship is a connection or bond between two parties. A person can have a conviction they follow based on their relationship with another. But in our own strength, it's difficult to live out a belief system when there's no relationship to encourage us. So, Jesus says, “Come to me.” He wants us to enter into a relationship with Him that transcends the man-made or self-imposed rules of religion. After all, it's the duties of religion in the absence of grace that wear people out.

He then invites us to “take His yoke.” The Message says, “Walk with me and work with me.” Jesus is not advocating the absence of religion, He is defining real religion. When we feel worn out or on the verge of burn out, it's a sure indicator we have either been doing things in our own strength or trying to carry out an assignment God didn't give us. So check yourself: Are you weary and heavy laden? If the answer is “yes,” then walk with Jesus and work with Him. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. That’s how you can learn to live freely and lightly!

Read the passage again… this time slowly! Aren’t you ready to get away with Him? You can right now in prayer!

"A Living God"

But very early on Sunday morning the women went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. They found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. So they went in, but they didn’t find the body of the Lord Jesus. As they stood there puzzled, two men suddenly appeared to them, clothed in dazzling robes. The women were terrified and bowed with their faces to the ground. Then the men asked, “Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive? He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead! (Luke 24:1-6 NLT).

I know it’s not Easter, but a very important thought occurred to me as I was driving to work earlier this week. It began with a statement I heard a theologian who observed: When God is dead anything is possible. That is a very powerful statement. Sadly it is true. When God is dead, the fences of morality are easily plowed over. Think for a moment about the Holocaust and the men who carried out its murderous plan. These were not monsters, but ordinary men; they were not crazed psychopaths, but mere men who had gone far astray of the plan and purpose of God. They were men to whom God was dead. And, when God is dead, anything is possible.

I read recently a man in his middle years once approached Ravi Zacharias after he had finished speaking and said, “If I told you all the horrible things I have done in my life you wouldn’t even want to be seen standing next to me. There is almost nothing I haven’t done. I am not sure even God can forgive me.” Zacharias said at the time he had to wonder what all was couched beneath those words. Still, the verse which came to mind were words spoken by the prophet Isaiah: Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him, and to our God, for He will freely pardon. (Isaiah 55:6-7).

When God is dead, the possibilities are unfathomable. But another question must be answered: If anything is possible when God is dead, what then is possible if God is alive? C.S. Lewis was a man who saw the beauty of the prodigal son worked out in his life. Describing his own quite reluctant conversion, he exclaims, “Who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance to escape? The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and His compulsion is our liberation.” 1 So, I can say with absolute confidence when God is alive, nothing is impossible! Absolutely nothing can separate you from God’s love, not even God’s seeming “death.” Don’t let anything convince you that God is dead! He is alive forever! And His love for you is unchanged. The Father is fully with you, waiting for you to come home. Come on back today!

1. C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1955, p. 237

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 3)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

A second truth is that we have found the riches in the WONDER OF THE CHURCH (verses 10-13). There are three singular principles Paul outlines in this section:

1. One of the greatest treasures is the Church, the body of Christ (verse 10). I know that there are many who would argue with that statement. If we look at the church merely as an institution there is a basis for such an argument. The church has had a checkered past with its sins and wars. Yet when we truly look within the marvelous nature of the church cannot be exaggerated. At the heart of the church’s existence is a covenant, a “testament” as the familiar title pages of our Bibles clearly tell us. To create heaven and earth was a wonder in itself. It was a further marvel to create man as a rational being, a being free to turn into a rebel against his Creator. But then to woo him back to a relationship of love and obedience, to create a people who live emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually in a similar relationship of grace and forgiveness is a wonder indeed!

2. The apostle then says it was according to his eternal purpose (verse 11). The emphatic nature of Paul’s argument is clearly shown here. We have gained this great gift through no accident nor work of our own doing. It is through the eternal will and purpose of the almighty Creator, Lord of all creation!

3. Then Paul places a capstone on this truth as he writes: In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence (verse 12). These three concepts of access, freedom, and confidence are bound together. The word translated “approach” is a word that would be used in the phrase “freedom of speech.” It means we can come to Him and say whatever is on our heart and mind. In fact, he emphasizes that truth with the next descriptor of “freedom.” It speaks of the notion that there is no need for fear of rejection. We won’t be turned away from His presence for any reason. And, last he uses the word “confidence.” It really indicates assurance. The three words together form one complete idea that through faith we have free, unrestricted, confident access to God!

But wouldn’t you expect that? Surely that’s what Jesus meant when He used the comparison of God as our Heavenly Father and said:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:7-11 NIV).

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 1)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

I must confess to being a bit “lazy” with this series. I’m actually writing two things at once. This Sunday, August 1st, I will be preaching at a Baptist church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Since it is the day before my 61st birthday I have chosen to rewrite one of my favorite sermons and make it the basis for the devotionals . I have actually preached this message in many churches. In fact, it was first preached in February, 1979 at University Heights Baptist Church; I then used it in every other church I pastored as the selection for my first sermon as pastor. It presents the heart of what I believe is the central message of God!

It is an intensely personal section of the epistle. It begins with a prayer which is interrupted with a lengthy digression that forms the extended interpretation of Paul’s ministry to the Gentiles. It is as if Paul is praying and then feels compelled to parenthetically provide an explanation to his readers. From this he makes this incredible declaration of his call to “preach the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

The Apostle Paul says that he has now become privy to a far great treasure than any man may have hidden. It is the treasure of grace that is unsearchable in its depth or height, breadth or length. It is the content of Paul’s message to the Gentiles then and to us today. This phrase, the unsearchable riches of Christ, uses a very vivid Greek word. It literally means “untrackable,” or “inexplorable.” It is simply too vast to be measured! Curtis Vaughn says of it:

It suggests the figure of a man standing, with uplifted arms, in a posture of great amazement, before continuous revelations of immeasurable and unspeakable glory. It is as if a man were tracking out the confines of a lake, walking its boundaries, and when the circuit were almost complete should find that it was no lake at all, but an arm of the ocean, and that he was confronted by the immeasurable sea!

That is his message! That is the treasure! And when we begin to hear it ourselves we must be struck by it as well. That God would love us so much that He would send His only son to die on our behalf, giving us access to fellowship with Him again is the most incredible treasure any man could possess! That’s the measure of God’s grace!

"The Face of Favor" (Part 2)

A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. (Mark 15:21-24 NIV).

Today we’ll continue with out look at “The Face of Favor.” As I said yesterday, there is no better place to see the grace and love of God than at the cross. However, it is impossible to fully comprehend that event. It is indeed the greatest of mysteries in the Scripture. Oh, sure, we can understand some of the historical significance of the cross, but that won’t allow us to experience tis reality. We can theorize about its theological importance and still be untouched by its power. Christians and non-believers alike can be moved by the idea of the substitutionary suffering of a man for the love of his friends, but miss entirely the cosmic implications of what happened at Golgotha. The reason for that is in the nature of Calvary. It is eternal in its impact, power, and grace.

Lloyd J. Ogilvie tells of an experience he had one Easter, when he conducted a survey of one hundred members of various Christian churches about the difference the Cross made to them. The specific questions was: Would it have made any difference in your life as you are now living if Christ had not died on the cross? Forty-five said they didn’t think so! Twenty-five said they thought so, but didn’t know what that difference would be. Twenty indicated it made all the difference in both what they believed and how they lived. And ten said they didn’t even understand what the cross was all about!

It’s easy to look at “them” and not at ourselves. The real question in trying to know what God looks like is this question. What difference does the Cross make in our lives? If we were really honest with ourselves, we would be able to say that it has made a difference in our lives verbally, though our actions tell a different tale. The real meaning of the Cross must be captured in our lives in such a way as to make them truly different. This is the story of Simon of Cyrene.

That’s where we’re going in the next few days. Today I Hope you will acknowledge the need in your life to make Jesus and the relationship you have with Him through the atoning work of grace in the Cross the single most determining factor of your life. Forget all the slogans like WWJD (old I know, but you get the idea) and focus on the face of Jesus who smiles in forgiveness and welcome to give you eternal life! That, after all, is really what God looks like!

"the Face of Favor" (Part 1)

A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. (Mark 15:21-24 NIV).

The July 17th issue of Morning Devotionals, “What Does God Look Like?” (http://www.gracerestoration.org/site/?p=439) ended with my assertion that God has a “yes face.” The more I began to think about that statement, the more I began to ponder how others must have seen Jesus during His earthly ministry. What better place to see the reaction of those who “saw” Jesus than at the cross? As you imagine being there, seeing the people gathered, there are many faces in the crowd. Some of them were friendly, some antagonistic, others indifferent; however, each tells a specific story. One of those was Simon of Cyrene. At first you may say he was there unwillingly, conscripted by the Roman soldiers to merely carry the cross of Jesus to Golgotha. But, as time passes and we learn more about him from the Scripture, we see he was grateful to have been elected for this honor.

Simon was born into a dedicated Jewish home in the North African city of Cyrene. His parents expressed their faith by giving him the name Simon at birth. Simon was a prominent son of Jacob. Being such a faithful family Simon must have dreamed of the day when he would be able to make his pilgrimage to Jerusalem at Passover. When he first entered the city he must have been agog at the sight of the Temple. He must ave felt something else though. There was a great disturbance in the city. The rumor was that a teacher from Galilee had arrived. There was sharp division among the Jews as to the purpose and identity of this man. Some felt certain he was the long awaited messiah, while others argued he was no more than a charlatan, a false prophet. It was widely rumored that the religious leaders were plotting his death.

This was the setting for Simon’s introduction to Jesus. On the day of the great Passover Feast, Simon came upon this strange spectacle. He saw a noisy crowd clustered around a small group of Roman soldiers. In their midst was a very weary, weakened, bloodied man. He was carrying a cross to his execution. Undoubtedly the crowds were shouting, the soldiers were prodding the man along. The man falls, not once, but three times under the strain. Just then, as the soldiers tired of this parade, wanting nothing but to be finished with their grisly assignment, their eyes fell on Simon. Seizing him, as was within their power, they ordered him to carry the cross. For the first time, Simon saw Jesus. From that moment on his life would never be the same. That’s the way it is with Jesus. Once you have seen Him you can never be the same. The Face of Favor demands a decision. Simon decided then this man was no ordinary man. The events that would follow would prove it for him. We’ll look more closely at those events and the challenge it has for us today in the next few days. However, can I ask you if you have seen Jesus? How has that changed your life? Stay tuned!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 7)

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6 NIV).

Today we continue with some of the practical principles of restoring grace and forgiveness to our families. You may recall that yesterday I wrote the first principle was never both be angry at once. Today we look at the second principle: Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Isn’t it strange how easy it is to raise our voices when situations become emotionally charged? The truth is that our voices are either a wonderful tool of love and grace, or they are a weapon of unmatched destruction.

I know that some of you are already thinking that raising your voice is the only way to get their attention. However, it simply does not work positively in the lives of our children. It teaches the wrong lessons. Think of it for a moment. Yelling at kids teaches them that people do not mean what they say until they yell. Yelling at them teaches them to yell back. Yelling at them teaches kid to yell at others. It teaches them to ignore respectful and dignified requests when people speak to them in other tones of voice. It teaches them that they are not worthy of speaking to in civil tones. Yelling at them teaches them that this is a reasonable and appropriate way to relieve stress is to yell at others. The point here is that yelling at our children in any situation other than an emergency teaches them lots of stuff but it rarely, if ever, teaches them anything of much value. I do not think that yelling indelibly scars kids unduly nor does them irreparable psychological damage; but it certainly does not help them to learn productive ways of interacting with others. It just does not work in any way that conveys grace, love, or acceptance. By the way, can you imagine God yelling at you for any other reason except to warn you from an immediate danger?

I have found that there are other signals that we can give to our children that work much better. For example, when a request or directive is ignored, begin with a question. Remember, tone of voice, volume, body language all need to convey a seeking of information, not anger or combativeness. Let’s say that you have asked your child to help clear the dinner dishes, but they have left them to go into the family room to play. Rather than standing in the kitchen and yelling, go to where your kids are and say respectfully, "I need your help. Would you please get up now and come in and clear the dishes? Look at me kids. I am smiling and I am speaking in a polite tone of voice. I even said ‘please', but I really mean it." If they do not immediately start to move to clear the table, move squarely in front of them and ask politely in a calm tone, "Excuse me, but what did I just ask you to do?" You may have to point out to them that you just asked a question that you wish to have answered because they are now in their Ignore-Mom-or-Dad-mode. Stay right in front of them and wait for their answer. As soon as they can repeat what you have said, say, "Ok, so you know what you are to do and I am going to wait right here until you start, so please get started right now." All of this is said in a respectful and pleasant tone of voice at a conversational volume. Be patient. It may even take weeks for this new graceful approach to begin to take hold because the kids may have literally had years of habitually ignoring your conversational statements and years of hearing you yell at them. It will take time to "learn the new language" that you are speaking! It does work! And, it is full of grace!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 6)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we begin the real meat of restoring grace and forgiveness to our families. In the June 22nd Morning Devotional, “Guarding the Low Places,” which can be found at www.gracerestoration.org/site/?p=377, I listed briefly ten principles for positive parenting. In the next few days I want to look closely at each of them. The first is: Never both be angry at once.

Perhaps the most essential element in our failure to extend grace in our relationships is that of anger. When we are angry, we simply cannot think clearly. Before you react, realize your feelings will affect your thoughts and words. I remember a time when such a moment was vividly painted in my experience. My oldest son, Kyle, found himself in a situation that required I come and pick him up from the custody of the local police! It was in the fall of the year, and he and some of his friends had decided to play a prank in a local neighborhood. They gathered as many trash bags of leaves left for pick-up on the curbs of the neighborhoods and placed them diagonally across an intersection, blocking traffic from going through any of the streets. It really was ingenious as they placed them in just the right spot to block the intersection. However, it was also dangerous and illegal. Arriving on the scene at 2:00 AM on a Sunday morning, I spoke with the police, and took custody of my son. As he got in the car I knew he wanted to talk about the incident. After all, he had broken one of the cardinal rules of the house: he was not where he said he would be and didn’t call to inform me he was leaving that place. Before he could say anything, I said, “We will talk about this later. Right now, I am too angry to not say something we would regret later. I am happy you are safe. When we get home, go to bed and get some rest.” I have been so thankful through the years that in that moment I could step back from my anger and just think. That experience has been a great step in the growth of our relationship through the years.

Today we actually chuckle at the memory of that night; however, I can assure you that it was not a humorous moment then! My first response when received the call was fear that something bad had happened and I was being informed to come and identify my son’s body! Then when I found out he was safe, but had broken the law in a dangerous prank, I was just plain angry. I don’t know about you, but I never think clearly when I am angry. Lot’s of bad things could have been set in motion that night had I reacted out of anger. I am grateful that time God’s grace prevailed. The first principle is never both be angry at the same time. Commit yourself to it and begin to practice it in your family.

"Like God's Family" (Part 5)

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, “How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.” (Luke 15:11-12 NIV).

As we come to the next section of the parable the curtain falls on the first act of this little drama and we see something that can be very helpful to us in our families. In the first act, the father exercised calm wisdom at the son’s request; in the second act we see forgiveness in action.

A great deal has happened between the leaving of the young son and this point in our story. To set the story for you, I can imagine the father standing at the crest of the hill, where he has gone every evening since his son left. He stands there and waits until he can no longer see because of the darkness. However, on this particular night he sees something on the horizon. He strains to see clearly, something catches his eye. He’s not sure at first, but then he realizes that it is no stranger as has been the case so many times before. He runs to meet his son and opens his arms to welcome him home. The son has a little speech he’s been rehearsing over and over in his mind since he began his journey home. Every bend in the road he’s rehearsed it: how wrong he was, how he didn’t deserve to be his father’s son anymore, how he just wanted to be a servant in his father’s house. His father met him in the road, they embrace, and the boy begins his little speech, “Father…” and the father puts his hand over his mouth and says, “Son, you don’t have to tell me anything, not where you’ve been, or what you’ve done. I know. The important thing now is that you’re home.”

He takes him home and the curtain falls on the second act of this drama. NOW WATCH THIS… DON’T MISS IT! We learn something very important about the love of God from this scene. When we come back to God, he doesn’t ask us where we’ve been or what we’ve done. He doesn’t demand an accounting of the way we’ve spent our money. He just puts his arms around us and welcomes us home. He forgives us. And, isn’t that just what we want and need? It is what all of us want and need, including our children. This is the example of God’s methodology of parenting and family life. I wonder how many families have been destroyed simply because we have not followed God’s example of grace and forgiveness. Tomorrow we’ll get more specific about these principles of forgiveness. Today, is there some member of your family that has become as a stranger to you simply because you cold not, or would not extend grace and forgiveness? Maybe it’s time to take another step toward making your family like God’s family.

"A Family Like God's" (Part 4)

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.” (Luke 15:11-12 NIV).

It occurs to me that in the exploration of the practicing calm wisdom in our families that some basic elements of communicating appropriately might prove helpful So here are ten of them that I think are essentials, especially when dealing with issues in our families. By the way, these work whether the conflict is with your children or your spouse:

• Don't Be Judgmental - You need to avoid words and phrases that attack your child/spouse and speculate on their flaws real or imagined. (i.e. You are so selfish - you are so stupid sometimes - look at you, you can't even have a conversation without acting like you are five)
• Skip the Labels - Don't slap a label on your child/spouse. They have names, use them.
• Use “I communication” - Don't use the word you when you are talking about a problem - instead talk about I (i.e. I feel overwhelmed or I am being pulled in too many directions, I need help)
• Skip the History Lesson - You don't need to drag up every incident that ever happened in the last five years - it's important to be constructive and not destructive (i.e. We had this conversation every month for the last 12 months, you never listen - instead try: We have tried to resolve this before, can you help me think of ways we can avoid having this same problem next month?)
• Eliminate the Negative - We are none of us perfect, constantly reminding your child/spouse of their flaws is not going to help them in any way - in fact, it's more likely to do harm than good.
• Use description, not attacks - You want to communicate what is happening to you and how you feel - not emote and scream at them so they have to guess (i.e. You always do this to me! - instead try: Yes, I am angry and I am frustrated. I need your help.)
• Don't bottle up your body language - When was the last time you wanted to talk to someone who had their arms folded or their back to you with their shoulders bunched up? We communicate nonverbally extremely well and we can see when people are not wanting to listen much less hear us, try to relax your shoulders and keep your arms down, look at them and not away.
• Don't Caption Your Message - Say what you mean and say what you feel - tell them the whole of it and not just the highlights. You aren't delivering the top ten reasons why you are unhappy in pithy commentary, you want to use all forms of communication to express yourself - whether you are conveying positive or negative messages
• Don't Threaten - Threats put someone in a corner - they demand acquiescence and promise consequences - too many people will do exactly the opposite because they don't want to be threatened and a positive family relationship needs cooperation and not intimidation.
• You are not a Mind Reader - Avoid assumptions, you are not a mind reader and neither is your child/spouse - their silence may indicate they are listening to you intently and not ignoring you; ask and be clear in your statements.

Remember, practice makes perfect. Even if you make a mistake, start over and keep working at it. Your family is worth it! Don’t give up… God didn’t!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 3)

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.” (Luke 15:11-12 NIV).

Yesterday we saw the calm wisdom of the father as he faced the demands of his youngest son. Today I want to focus your attention on the events that most likely led to the son’s demands. The Scripture merely says, The younger one said to his father, “Father, give me my share of the estate.” It is a story of recurring conflict. This is a very familiar theme, one that all of us have at least seen, and perhaps experienced. While I have taken some liberty with the story, I believe it may have played out in the following manner.

The young son comes to his father and says, “Father, I have come of age. I want my share of the inheritance. I want to live my own life. I want to leave home.” The father is certainly stunned. He is shocked. He must have asked why? The son’s reply is predictable. “I am tired of living under the shadow of your rules, restrictions, and demands. I want to be on my own. I want to decide life for myself.” The father is so shocked, he can only stammer, “My son, wait, listen for a moment. The reason I have these restrictions is for your own good. The reason I have made these requirements is for your own good.”

The son still refuses and the father divides the inheritance and gives the portion to his younger son. Then he walks out of the house and down the road up to the crest of the hill with his son. Arm around his son, the father quietly and gently speaks to his son, “I hardly know how to accept what you are saying, and the decision you are making. To be honest, I think you are making a mistake. I just hope everything turns out like you hope it will. But, son, it is a vast, cold, hard world out there and I want you to know something as you leave: your daddy is going to be right here in the house. If you get out there and decide you want to come home, I want you to know I’ll be here.” The son coldly shakes his hand and the father waves goodbye with a tear in his eye as he watches his son disappear over the horizon.

Calm wisdom prevailed. We really see that truth more as the story unfolds. But it is there from the beginning. I have found that in families of all types, one truth exists universally: the tighter the grip, the more the struggle; the more the struggle, the tighter the grip. As parents we fear for the security and well being of our children. Therefore we tend to over protect and thus overly restrict the growth and independence of our children. Children, on the hand, must experiment with boundaries. They are always testing the edge and pushing the limits. Sometimes the best course of action is a deep breath and calmness of response. With younger children that usually means we step back from a “drill sergeant” approach and use the power of choices. With teens that usually means we lower the volume of our voice and change the tone. Participating in a shouting competition with our children simply doesn’t work well. You might “win,” but the loss suffered may cause greater conflict later. Commit yourself to calm wisdom today!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 2)

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.” (Luke 15:11-12 NIV).

For the next few days we are going to be looking deeply into the Parable of the Lost Son. Our reading is the first few verses of that teaching. It is the best model in concise form that God has given us for creating a family like His. Jesus begins with the description of a “wise man” that had two sons. It is no accident that Jesus calls this man wise. The way he handled both of his children in the ensuing challenges was nothing short of perfect wisdom.

So, let’s look more closely. The father realized that behind the youngest son’s request was a real basic need. All of us need to understand that from birth through every successive stage of our development we have general needs. The first need is that of physical care. All of us have a need for shelter, food, and a home. The second need is that of security. We all must feel a part of the family unit, to feel safe, to have a place of retreat. Though the world is against us, we need a place of secure rest. The third progressive need in our lives is that of love. We must have personal love and companionship. There is a fourth need though. We all need independence. The wise parent will learn to recognize this need in their children’s lives. We also have a need to be set free.

The real key in parenting is to find the balance at each stage of our child’s life between each of these basic needs. For example, while providing for their security we can go too far and shelter them from age appropriate challenges leaving them unequipped and incapable of handling themselves as they grow. Or, we can be so intent on providing love for them that we fail to give them the freedom they need at each stage of their life. I won’t bore you with the psychological jargon and labels for these different kinds of parenting style, but let me simply say that the example of Scripture is that of graceful parenting.

I learned a part of this lesson when Kyle was just beginning elementary school in Mt. Pleasant, Texas. It was my habit to either drop him off or pick him up as often as possible. The doors to the classroom fronted onto a common outside covered walk. I was parked, waiting to pick him up as were many other parents. The car was in full sight and I could watch and see him exit his classroom immediately. Both of us could find each other easily in the crowd. One day I was in my usual spot and waiting for the bell to ring dismissing the school for the day. As it rang the children poured out of their classrooms. Kyle was among the crowd. Accidentally an older child ran out of their class and knocked him down. I jumped from the car and ran to him, scooping him up in my arms. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? However, his response was telling. He said, “Dad, not in front of everyone! I’m okay!” And, he was. There was the chance for balance. I missed it. There would be many other lessons, but thankfully I was a pretty quick learner. The key is we must all find balance in the four basic needs for our families. It will make them what God desires for them to be… grace-full! We’re going to be looking at more of these principles in the coming days. Today, commit yourself to having a family like God’s! Find balance and keep it!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 1)

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. (Genesis 1:26-28 NIV).

I may ramble a bit in today’s Morning Devotional. I suppose it is because I am caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place.” The “rock” is a vital principle. The “hard place” is the amount of space I have to develop the truth in this venue. So, here goes… I believe there is nothing more powerful in heaven or on Earth than family. It is the single most influential force for good or for evil in all human existence. From birth, it marks you. Your family crafts your conscience and shapes your soul. At home you learn life’s lessons and begin the art of practicing them. At home you learn to love and to do what’s right. More than merely giving you a street address, your home and family imprint you with a spiritual identity shaped by the two people who gave you life. Truly, nothing compares to the strength of being tightly wrapped in the protective fiber of family. It’s who you are. It’s where you belong.

And if all goes well, as it should, it is your family that surrounds you when you start life’s journey, when you face life’s hardest trials, when you go through the valleys and when you die. More than anyone else, the members of your family are the ones who are there for you, caring for you and mourning the loss of you when you’re gone. This should come as no surprise, because God created the family. Look at today’s reading again. At the very dawn of time, “God created man in His own image ... male and female He created them.” Of all the ways He could have chosen to inaugurate His creation, He chose to start with family. In fact, the Bible begins with a marriage in Genesis and ends with a marriage in Revelation. Marriage and family have always been central to what God is doing on planet Earth.

I believe family is still of utmost importance to our heavenly Father. It holds the key to our health, our success as a society, and our future. And I believe it is worth whatever effort is required to nurture, encourage and support it. Its worth whatever sacrifices necessary on your part to make it what it ought to be. Sacrifice everything before you allow anything to come between you and your family. And, here’s the real question: What’s your family like? Regardless of the model you presently operate within today, nuclear family, blended family, or single parent family, I believe it is essential to make it the best that you possibly can make it by following the example of God with His family. Will you make that commitment today? We’ll get more specific in the days to come. Today take the first step. Renew your commitment to family first!

"Under the Wings"

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy! I look to you for protection. I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings until the danger passes by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me. He will send help from heaven to rescue me, disgracing those who hound me. My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness. (Psalm 57:1-3 NLT).

We’ve had quite a few calamities strike our nation lately! It hasn’t been that long since Nashville and some of the surrounding areas were struck with what some are calling the worst flood of the area’s history. Recently, Arkansas suffered a similar fate. There was loss of life and significant damage done in both cases. Of course, we are still dealing with what might be one of the biggest calamities to affect the Gulf and perhaps the Atlantic in the BP oil disaster. It has been understandable that people seem to be emotionally flinching with every clap of thunder or lightning flash through the sky. Many people are beginning to question if there is any place of safety!

I don't think it should be any surprise that most folks are feeling some effects from some kind of storm in their life, weather related or not. They feel the pressure of a burdensome society; the changing of the very fabric of our culture; and the ever increasing demands of life and family. They are STRESSED OUT at times!

Do you feel that way? Has life tossed you some problems you don't feel prepared to tackle? Have you heartaches that you can't begin to mention to most of the outside world? Are there burdens in your life to numerous to count? Could you use some relief?

Why not hide out in the safety of God's care? David, the great warrior of God, wrote this verse as he was hiding from Saul. God had already promised him victory, but for now, trouble was his lot in life. He felt all alone; desperate; afraid. He needed something he knew he really didn't deserve: God's mercy! He needed a place to hang his hat until this storm of his life was past!

Praise God that He is still in the Hiding Place business! He is still available to provide shelter for His people. God invites His children to call for His protection and He opens His wings where we will find rest and security until the storm passes, and we can regain our place on the path of life which He has chosen in advance for us to take.

Why don't you come join me under a wing today? There's plenty of room! It’s not a hard place to find. Open your Bible to the psalms. There are so many promises of His protection there for you to claim!

"The Thirsty Deer" (Part 8)

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me--a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42:5-8 NIV).

So far I’ve done a lot with Psalm 42 to encourage you. Today I’d like to be a little more practical and look at some of the things that can be done. The Psalmist has a secret. It’s not as earth shattering as you and I might think it is. The secret is not found in a self-help book or in the horoscope. You won’t find it on Oprah, Dr. Phil, or Dr. Oz! Most people think it sounds a little too easy. The Psalmist’s secret to overcoming hopelessness is an active prayer life.

Look at the emphasized verse in our reading today: By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life. There it is. He came to understand that constant communication with the Father kept him from slipping into extended periods when he couldn’t seem to manage. So here are some “principles” of the continuous practice of prayer:

 First, learn to pray conversationally. Just like you might chat with a friend or loved one, chat with God through the day. It may be no more than a phrase or two. The important thing is to train your mind to recognize that He is always there. You are never alone.

 Second, practice “His song.” That’s not listening to Christian music, though there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I encourage you to listen to praise and worship music as often as possible through the day. However, this is the act of worship. It is practicing gratitude with God. Concentrate on the little things that happen, or even don’t happen each day, and thank Him.

 Third, put yourself in the way of receiving God’s love. This is a horizontal, you and others, experience. We give and receive God’s love when we interact with others in a godly way. This is a little tougher than the others. It requires that we both give and receive love. I’m pretty good at giving. Sometimes I’m not very good at receiving. Get good at receiving. It brings a blessing to you and those who give!

 Last, recognize that no storm of life is forever. Your “forever” has been secured by Christ and it is going to be perfect in every way.

We’ll see more of the Psalmist’s declaration tomorrow. Today, would you begin to form these habits in your life? It will make a difference. God guarantees it!

"The Thirsty Deer" (Part 7)

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. (Psalm 42:5-6 NIV).

I’ve added another verse to our reading from previous issues. The imagery the Psalmist uses here is that of water. The thought of one drop of rain reminds him of many drops of water. Soon he is thinking about running water, then a waterfall, then maybe an ocean! But, the idea is that one drop leads to another drop. This illustration really represents how the Psalmist feels about his problems. The Psalmist has so many troubles it feels like he is drowning in them.

Have you ever felt like you were “in over your head”, drowning in a sea of difficulties? Does it ever seem like the waves of despair have overtaken you? Deep calls to deep. One problem leads to another. What starts as one little problem, soon becomes a major disaster! It’s like Murphy (of Murphy’s Law) has gone crazy in your life! It has happened to most of us from time to time.

Still using the water theme let me say that none of us can do anything about the tsunami problems of life that overtake us before we knew what hit us. These major disasters hit us without warning, but all of us can stop the slow leaks in our life before they become a major flood. The reason we each need a daily time alone with God is because we have to be prepared to stop the slow leaks in our faith. We have to build a strong defense against the periods of doubt that will surely come our way.

Just last week I was visiting with a lady who was a Nashville flood victim. She said her house had never had so much as a drop of water in it since it was built in 1992! This year it had four feet of water in her basement after the rain finally stopped! She remarked how helpless she felt about it. She had not prepared for the flood because it had never flooded before. That same weekend a stark contrast played out in our neighborhood. I was down the street helping some neighbors sandbag their house. They stayed dry. If you want to be prepared when the floods come, then you must daily do some sandbagging.

The first sandbags I would lay would be a daily exposure to the Scripture. There’s nothing like reading the Psalms or Proverbs to give you some encouragement for those tough times. But, I would also lay some other bags. Find those folks that you can trust to come alongside you and help shoulder the load. They may be your family, friends, or minister. Whoever it is, involve them in your life. Build the right wall and the floods won’t destroy you.

"Happy Birthday, Mary!"

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her. (John 20:1; 18 NIV).

Today is Mary’s birthday! Of course, you will not see me put into print the number of years we are celebrating - I often remark that, while I may be ugly, I’m certainly not stupid! However, suffice it to say that she and I have traveled quite a long road together so far. Some of that road has been uphill and steep; while other parts of it have been easy and pleasant. Because there has been so much of the road traveled, I confess I had a difficult time deciding what to write today. Then the Lord seemed to bring to mind another Mary in the New Testament, Mary Magdalene. I chose two verses from the larger context of the appearance of Jesus at the tomb to her to single out one defining moment in our journey.

Most of you have heard the story of how Mary and I met. I won’t detail that here. However, the key element in all of it was the manner in which my Mary conducted herself in respect to my relationship with Christ. While I was a member of a church, I was not a believer. Just like Mary Magdalene took the story of the resurrected Christ to the others, so my Mary took that message to me. I have had a long time to ponder what my life might have looked like if she had not been willing to be the instrument in God’s hands to show me the truth about who Jesus was and what He wanted to be in my life.

Of course, I know that the sovereignty of God is such that someone would have been led to me with that message, but I am convinced that she was God’s first choice and her obedience in that “small” detail has been the root of all the tremendous blessing we have experienced together. We have so much to be thankful about in our lives. All of that over the past forty years, our three wonderful children, their incredible spouses, and our amazing grandchildren all are direct results of that one moment of faithful obedience!

So, to close today’s devotional thought, first I want to say Happy Birthday, Mary! And second, I want to say Thank You for being faithful! Additionally, could I encourage you to be careful to be faithful even in those seemingly insignificant moments of sharing the risen Christ with others in ways that at the time don’t really seem very “evangelistic”? Especially for those of you who may be younger than I, please know that you never know which person you meet along your path may be that one person you will begin a lifelong journey with just as I did long ago!