A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 24

 

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1–4 ESV).

 

Today we come to another one of the directives of the Apostle Paul that often raises an eyebrow with some. We should remember that the apostle’s emphasis in Ephesians 5:22–6:9 is on the submission of service and how believers fulfill the call to serve one another in love (cf. Ephesians 5:21; Galatians 5:13). In today’s reading, the apostle addresses Christian children, his main audience consisting of kids who still live under the direct care of their parents. Adult children can certainly draw principles from this passage for their relationship with their parents, but the primary instruction is for those who have yet to reach maturity.

 

Ancient Roman society, like most cultures throughout history, believed that children should listen to their parents and respect their elders. Indeed, no one can escape what the created order tells us about the propriety of kids obeying their mothers and fathers. Yet Scripture uniquely addresses children directly, commanding them as individuals with a moral sense of what they should and should not do. This elevates children from the status of mere possessions to persons, conferring upon them a dignity and worth not always given to them in unbelieving societies. Kids are not chattel who can be treated any way their parents like.

 

Addressing children this way presupposes that regenerate young people, especially if they are nearing adulthood, have the duty and ability to obey their parents wisely. No human authority, parents included, deserves absolute allegiance. Abusive, neglectful, and impenitently foolish parents are not to be honored in the same way as good parents. John Chrysostom, the ancient patriarch of Constantinople, addressed this issue, noting Paul’s qualification that youths obey parents “in the Lord.” Chrysostom says, “They [parents] are to be obeyed in whatever way they are not offending against God” (ACCNT 8, p. 191).

 

Obedience “in the Lord” qualifies the child-parent relationship, but it cannot excuse rebellious kids who disobey rules they do not like. God gives us parents for our benefit, and obeying their wisdom, besides being right, brings us many benefits (vv. 2–3). In fact, children who impenitently disobey the godly instruction of their parents mark themselves off as unregenerate (cf. Romans 1:28–32; 2 Timothy 3:1–5). Yet children who profess Christ and render respectful love to their parents demonstrate the reality of their salvation, enjoying many other blessings as well.

 

The Old Testament often speaks of honor for one’s parents by employing language elsewhere associated with the fear of the Lord (cf. Leviticus 19:3, 14, 32). Although no human authority deserves absolute allegiance, we must show proper, biblical reverence to our parents. This applies to us no matter how old we are or how long we have lived outside of our parents’ homes. Let us seek to be models of godliness in how we honor our mothers and fathers.

 

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 23

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV).

 

Today’s reading continues the Apostle Paul’s practical instruction of the relationship of the husband to the wife in the family of believers. He says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (v. 25). This is the foundational biblical command. It directs husbands to lead through self-sacrificial service, deep care, and unconditional devotion. It is modeled after Christ in that it should be a love that is sacrificial, active, and protective rather than passive.

 

Martin Luther once said of his beloved Katherine Von Bora, whom called Katie, or sometimes “Mrs. Dr. Luther”. He observed on one occasion, he said, "If God wanted me to be married to a meek woman, he'd have to carve one out of stone." What he was saying was that Katie was beautiful inside and she had a great spirit, but she wasn't a doormat for anybody, or Martin Luther or anyone else that came into the house. God is not calling women to be doormats, to be slavish in the way they relate to their husbands any more than God will ever tolerate a man exercising a tyranny over his wife.

 

Again, one of the great calamities of our day is the epidemic of wife abuse. I'm going to say this to every man in who reads this devotional, there are lots of sins that I can understand, but I cannot for the life of me understand how any man could ever hit a woman. Never let it be said of you that you would ever let your anger, in a domestic dispute, move you to such an action as to actually hit your wife. That's absolutely unconscionable. There are other ways to “hit” your wife. Emotional abuse, demeaning references, or rude remarks cannot be tolerated either. This is simply not the way of Jesus.

 

We must take care to treat our wife as our own body, nourishing and cherishing her. We should show mutual respect, building a unified partnership rooted in spiritual commitment. Some of the ways we can do this is through praying for your wife's spiritual and emotional well-being; listening actively during regular, open, relational communication; serving her daily needs through small, thoughtful acts of kindness; and, prioritizing dedicated time together without distractions.

 

This is the way of Jesus. It ought to be our way as well!

  

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 22

 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV).

 

Never let it be said that I refuse to “wade out into the deep water”! Today I come to the deepest water in the Apostle Paul’s letter. In the coming verses he will deal with the God-directed structure of the Christian’s home. It is a complex portion of the letter and has been abused and falsely taught for centuries. However, it is essential to the growth and development of the family. So, let me begin by saying our reading today does teach male headship and wifely submission in marriage, modeled after Christ and the church. This submission means a Christ-dependent disposition to follow the husband’s leadership, but it excludes obeying a command to sin or enduring abuse of any kind.

 

So, let’s take a look at some of the essentials of the characteristics of this “submission.”

Wifely Submission: Paul calls wives to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord. The word “submit” is not actually found in verse 22 as most translations add it as the verb. It is a continuation of the previous verse where Paul says we are to be in a state of “… submitting ourselves to one another in reverence of Christ” (v. 21). However, there is the addition of what this relationship is to look like in marriage. The apostle gives some detail.

 

First, he states the limit of submission. Wives must never follow their husbands into sin or remain in situations involving domestic abuse, as abuse directly violates God's law. And the husband's role as head mirrors Christ's leadership as a protector and provider. Of course, since husbands are finite and sinful, this headship must never be practiced in a tyrannical, domineering, or abusive manner. There is also a mutual imperfection where spouses are called to obey these roles even when their partner fails to act perfectly, pointing back to grace found in Christ.

 

Paul will have much more to say about how this relationship should work. Today, suffice it to say that it should look just like Jesus as relates in grace and love. It should never be positional, but relational. It should never be seen as a competitive relationship; nor should it appear to be a reference to authority or dominance.

 

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 21

 

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:15–21 ESV).

 

Our reading today continues the Apostle Paul’s instruction for believers to live distinct, careful, and holy lives that contrast sharply with the surrounding secular culture. This is one of those verses that the King James Version uses a word that is very interesting in the English translation of the first verse: “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise” (v. 15). In the original language (ἀκριβῶς) it may be translated as exactly, accurately, carefully, or diligently. Helps Word Studies says, “The root of this word (akrib-) refers to gaining exact information with the highest level of accuracy ("exactness") and is acquired by probing investigation to provide a comprehensive circumspect (precise) view in strict adherence to the facts.” I believe the apostle chose this word to emphasize that the life of believers is based on opinion or worse, false teachings. So, he says there are some core themes the apostle touches upon.

 

First, he says we are to look carefully at our choices. Believers must evaluate their choices and consider consequences rather than living carelessly. This is the basis of the often-cited idiom “look before you leap.” Some things often sound so appealing that we are tempted to rush headlong into them only to realize that the consequences are destructive.

 

Second, he says we should make the best use of time. Because the cultural climate is evil and hostile to God, Christians should treat time as a precious, fleeting resource. I often encouraged others to realize that time is the only non-renewable resource we possess. Doing that we can plan the use of our time accordingly. We budget our money far better than we do our time; and, that’s often a mistake.

 

Third, we should understand God's will. Wisdom means grasping God's overarching purpose to unite all things under Christ and applying it practically in daily life. This may be one of the most challenging things about the believer’s life. Since we do not have the same perspective as God, it is often difficult to see purpose in all of our circumstances until much later. This is when we must trust the goodness of God, knowing that His desire is to produce only good in our lives.

 

After Paul writes these larger principles, he says some things that are a bit more specific. He says we are to avoid drunkenness. Drunkenness is a destructive mark of the ungodly world and explicitly forbidden. He also says we should be filled with the Holy Spirit. Instead of being controlled by substances, believers are to be constantly directed and empowered by the Holy Spirit. This leads us to be filled with worship and gratitude. The Spirit-filled life naturally overflows with communal singing, mutual encouragement, and constant thankfulness to God the Father. And then, he concludes with the admonition toward mutual submission. It is a calling to all church members to put others first out of reverence for Christ. This will set the stage for specific household roles that follow.

 

How does your life measure up against these principles?

 

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 20

 

But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:3–14 ESV).

 

The Apostle Paul knew that the Ephesian believers would need some practical understanding of what this new life in Christ should be. A part of that is in our reading today. The context becomes very important today as we seek to understand the message for us. Remember that Ephesus was a very paganistic culture. The believers had come from various religious and cultural backgrounds. Much as we are today. So, he calls them to understand what it means to be a repentant sinner living in grace. John Calvin is very helpful in this truth. He writes:

 

“When men have repented, and thus give evidence that they are reconciled to God, they are no longer the same persons that they formerly were. But let all fornicators, or unclean or covetous persons, so long as they continue such, be assured that they have no friendship with God, and are deprived of all hope of salvation.”

 

There is a difference between those who profess Christ, seek to put to death the flesh, and occasionally sin, and those who profess Christ but celebrate their sin. The latter group — the impenitent — has no share in the Lord’s kingdom. On the other hand, Jesus receives with open arms those who hate their evildoing, even if they sometimes fall (cf. 1 John 1:8–9).

 

We should remember this when we consider Scripture’s teaching on the fate of the sexually immoral. Only “the sons of disobedience” receive the wrath of God (v. 6). Sons typically bear many of the physical and personality traits of their parents; thus, the sons of disobedience have their father’s nature. They reflect their lineage consistently, relishing their sin, even demanding that others approve of it. These individuals show no desire for repentance, and they have no place in Christ’s body. Converted people, however, have “become children of God” (John 1:12). They are “partakers of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4) and are being slowly conformed to it over their lifetimes. Such individuals resist temptation, hate it when they sin, and never seek approval of their transgressions. We gladly welcome these men and women in our churches, for they are recovering sinners just like us.

 

There are men and women struggling with sexual sin in all of our congregations. They want to please God and are seeking to mortify the flesh, and we should do all that we can to help them. This means creating an atmosphere where repentant sinners feel that they can share their burdens without being seen as unworthy. If we are honest about our own sins without seeking to excuse them, other repentant sinners will feel welcome among us.

 

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 19

 

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1–2 ESV).

 

The Apostle Paul now turns to a more general result of the grace of God. We are enjoined to “walk in love” (v. 1). In response to the free gift of salvation that God offers us and enables us to receive, Christians are called to live a life of gratitude that displays itself in good works (cf. Ephesians 2:8–10; 4:17–24). Paul paints the contours of this life in broad strokes in yesterday’s reading (Ephesians 4:25–32), emphasizing the importance of truth-telling, purity in speech, restraint, kindness, and forgiveness. Today’s passage describes life in Christ even more succinctly. Simply put, we must “be imitators of God, as beloved children.”

 

It should be noted that the first verse of today’s reading is the only verse in Scripture to command us explicitly to imitate the Lord. Nevertheless, throughout the Bible we find passages from which we may deduce our Father’s desire that His people would copy His character, insofar as creatures are able. Leviticus 19:2, for example, calls us to model our holiness after the holiness of God: “You shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.” Jesus also tells us to be kind, for that is the way in which our Creator treats His creatures, even those who are ungrateful (cf. Luke 6:35–36). Since we are made in God’s image, all human beings have the capability to imitate Him. Due to the fall, however, only those who belong to Christ — the perfect representation of God (cf. Colossians 1:15) — can now put this imitation into practice.

 

Of course, being creatures, we cannot imitate the Creator in every way. We cannot make something out of nothing, nor are we sovereign over all. The ways in which we imitate God are primarily ethical in nature. The church father Jerome comments: “Admittedly much that God has done we humans can hardly be said to imitate. But in the way he is merciful to all and rains on good and bad, so we may pour out mercy upon all we meet” (ACCNT 8, pp. 172–173).

 

That our imitation of the Lord is chiefly ethical is confirmed in the second verse of our reading, where we are commanded to “walk in love, as Christ loved us.” This love was supremely demonstrated in His willingness to give Himself up for our sake, to pay the price necessary to save us. God’s love cost Him much — the death of His only begotten Son — thus, costly love is what pleases Him most. Imitating our Creator means that we will pay a price — that in love we will have to surrender our own well-being at times in order to advance the good of others.

 

A Walk through Ephesians - Pt 18

 

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:25–32 ESV).

 

Today we will examine one of the most important passages in Scripture on Christians and anger. I must confess this passage is one of the most challenging for me to apply practically and consistently. I have often told people that I do have a “long fuse” but the explosion at the end of it is like that which took place in Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the end of WW2! It is not pretty, nor is it Biblical. Even after five decades of personal work, it still presents itself from time to time.

 

We do have an incredible model in the life of Jesus. He has shown us that being angry, in itself, is not evil. The Apostle Paul takes this idea a step further. Paul tells us not only that we are permitted to be angry, he also says there are times when we must be angry. That the Lord would command us to be angry at times is understandable when we consider biblical ethics. In the same letter Paul summarizes what we need to know about Christian virtues by telling us to be “imitators of God” (cf. Ephesians 5:1). Our Father in heaven can only be perfectly holy if He gets angry when His righteous standards are violated (cf. Deuteronomy 32:4; Isa. 6:3). If we are to imitate Him, we too must get mad at those things that make God angry. We must grow incensed when we see the weak and helpless exploited, because the Lord’s wrath is kindled against the oppressor (cf. Exodus 22:21–24). Hypocrisy in our lives and in the church must disturb us because of Jesus’ anger at those who honor Him with their lips only (cf. Matthew 15:8; 23).

 

Yet we are imperfect, and while we must sometimes get angry, we must also take care that we do not sin in our anger (v. 26). Every time we are mad, we should check ourselves to see if we are upset at the things God hates. Otherwise, we may be angry without just cause and give opportunity to the Devil (v. 27). Anger is the emotion most prone to sinful abuse, and this is why Paul also tells us to put anger away in this same passage (v. 31). This is not a contradiction of earlier verses. Paul is only recognizing that our anger, even if it is godly at first, is too often perverted into feelings of malice instead of a longing to see offenders repent. When this happens, we are in danger of giving root to the bitterness that destroys (cf. Hebrews 12:15).

 

Finally, though evil should anger us, we should not pour wrath on others. Jesus castigated the Pharisees because of their hard hearts (cf. Matthew 23), but He was kind and gentle to the adulterous woman because she was humble and contrite (cf. John 7:53–8:11). We cannot condone sin, but we must also imitate our Savior and seek to restore the repentant in lieu of showing wrath.

 

We can too easily fall back under the sway of sin, which makes our hearts “deceitful beyond all things” (cf. Jeremiah 17:9). We can trick ourselves into thinking our anger is godly when it is not pleasing to the Lord. Being honest with other Christians is essential in differentiating between godly and ungodly anger. If you are mad today, confess this anger to the Lord and seek the wisdom to know whether it is justified. Then, seek the good of the person with whom you are angry.