"A Family Like God's" (Part 2)

Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.” (Luke 15:11-12 NIV).

For the next few days we are going to be looking deeply into the Parable of the Lost Son. Our reading is the first few verses of that teaching. It is the best model in concise form that God has given us for creating a family like His. Jesus begins with the description of a “wise man” that had two sons. It is no accident that Jesus calls this man wise. The way he handled both of his children in the ensuing challenges was nothing short of perfect wisdom.

So, let’s look more closely. The father realized that behind the youngest son’s request was a real basic need. All of us need to understand that from birth through every successive stage of our development we have general needs. The first need is that of physical care. All of us have a need for shelter, food, and a home. The second need is that of security. We all must feel a part of the family unit, to feel safe, to have a place of retreat. Though the world is against us, we need a place of secure rest. The third progressive need in our lives is that of love. We must have personal love and companionship. There is a fourth need though. We all need independence. The wise parent will learn to recognize this need in their children’s lives. We also have a need to be set free.

The real key in parenting is to find the balance at each stage of our child’s life between each of these basic needs. For example, while providing for their security we can go too far and shelter them from age appropriate challenges leaving them unequipped and incapable of handling themselves as they grow. Or, we can be so intent on providing love for them that we fail to give them the freedom they need at each stage of their life. I won’t bore you with the psychological jargon and labels for these different kinds of parenting style, but let me simply say that the example of Scripture is that of graceful parenting.

I learned a part of this lesson when Kyle was just beginning elementary school in Mt. Pleasant, Texas. It was my habit to either drop him off or pick him up as often as possible. The doors to the classroom fronted onto a common outside covered walk. I was parked, waiting to pick him up as were many other parents. The car was in full sight and I could watch and see him exit his classroom immediately. Both of us could find each other easily in the crowd. One day I was in my usual spot and waiting for the bell to ring dismissing the school for the day. As it rang the children poured out of their classrooms. Kyle was among the crowd. Accidentally an older child ran out of their class and knocked him down. I jumped from the car and ran to him, scooping him up in my arms. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? However, his response was telling. He said, “Dad, not in front of everyone! I’m okay!” And, he was. There was the chance for balance. I missed it. There would be many other lessons, but thankfully I was a pretty quick learner. The key is we must all find balance in the four basic needs for our families. It will make them what God desires for them to be… grace-full! We’re going to be looking at more of these principles in the coming days. Today, commit yourself to having a family like God’s! Find balance and keep it!