"Reflections of My Dad"

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV).

Our reading today speaks to two principles of life. As children we are to honor our parents. That doesn’t mean that they are exonerated from their mistakes. Every parent has their shortcomings, however, we are still to give them honor. It is a two-way street though. As parents we are to act in such a way as to train and instruct our children in a way that they will be successful in handling the experiences they will face as they take their place in society.

Thinking both about my fatherhood and my Dad’s parenting brought me to some interesting reflections. My dad was a remarkable man in many ways. Born and raised in a nearly exclusive Italian culture during the early 1900’s, his spirit of independence and commitment to work hard served him well. Although he only had a third grade education, he taught me some of my life’s greatest lessons. I would like to have a conversation with him about some of these things, but for now I must wait. He died in 1974.

He taught me how to make do with less and understand sacrifice. He taught me how to “figure out how things worked” so that I could fix them instead of discarding them. He taught me the value of hard work, and doing things “right.” Most of all he taught what family means. I must admit that it was not until later in life that I fully realized the value of those lessons, but they were there all the same. Don’t misunderstand, I haven’t bestowed sainthood on him by any means, but I have learned from both the good and the bad he did that above all, family is everything.

I have spent a good deal of time thinking about some specifics that have grown out of that one principle. Someday, when I am gone my prayer is that these things will stand out for my boys:

• Always keep your promises. Your family deserves nothing less.
• Work hard and be proud of what you do. Even when it seems that your “job” is not “high profile,” the way your approach everything you do will serve as an example to your children.
• A good imagination is one of life’s greatest gifts. Use it often and wisely.
• When faced with a problem, don’t say, “It can’t be done.” Get busy and figure out a way to do it!
• Don’t give up! Persistence is often the best tool to insure success.
• You don’t have to preach to teach people about the love of God.

It seems impossible that he’s been gone 36 years, because he is still so very much a part of my life. I often think of him and his ways. It brings me to a final question for you: what will your kids think when they reflect over time at the lessons you have taught them?