A Quick Course in Parenting - Pt 8

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. (Colossians 3:20-21 ESV). Yesterday we saw that it is essential to be consultant parents in our style of discipline. Today is a continuation of that principle. We should discipline our children lovingly. Parents' discipline should be based on four F's: firmness, fondness, frankness and fairness. Giving children choices in our discipline is not permissiveness. It merely means that "no" should be said as lovingly as "yes". Deal with the situation, not the person. Always deal with the action rather than the actor. Most discipline problems consist of two parts: angry feelings and angry acts. Each part has to be handled differently. Feelings have to be identified and expressed; acts may have to be limited and redirected. There is no good substitute for thinking before we act in our discipline. The Police Department of Houston, Texas, has issued these ten easy rules for raising a delinquent: 1. Begin at infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living. 2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. 3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him "decided for himself". 4. Pick up everything he leaves lying around books, shoes, and clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others. 5. Quarrel frequently in his presence. In this way he will not be too shocked when the home is broken later. 6. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them? 7. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. Denial may lead to harmful frustrations. 8. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child. 9. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him". 10. Prepare for a life of grief. You are bound to have it. Firmness, fondness, frankness and fairness – these are principles that will help us achieve balance in our discipline.