A Quick Course in Parenting - Pt 7

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 ESV). The sixth principle in our studies deals with a parenting style. We ought to guard against being over-protective. There are actually three basic style of parenting. First there are the helicopter parents; second, there are drill-sergeant parents; and, last there are consultant parents. We should strive to be the latter of these if we desire to have well-adjusted and positive children. Let me explain this a little. Helicopter parents can't stand to see their children suffer, so they hover over them and then swoop down to rescue them whenever they are in trouble, she explained. This parenting style carries the unspoken message to a child, "I'm going to rescue you because you're not capable." Drill sergeant parents bark out orders and tell children their only responsibility is to do as they are told, Bird noted. Their actions teach a child, "I'll tell you what to do because you're not capable." Consultant parents guide their children, point them in the right direction, and then let them bear the consequence of their own actions, unless their bad choices are life threatening. Brenda Bird offers the following suggestions to help parents develop more of a consultant style. They are seven "C's" to use as a guide for building strong families: 1. Choices. Instead of making threats or rescue attempts, give children non-threatening choices you can live with. 2. Control. Teaching children to make choices empowers them and gives them more control over their lives, as they grow older. 3. Consequences. Allow children to "own" their problems by helping them to see that the choices they make have real consequences. 4. Count. Kids must know that they count and that they matter to someone. 5. Capable. Teach children they are capable by giving them tasks, allowing them to make mistakes and letting them learn from those mistakes. Then give them the same task again, showing them that you trust them and that they are capable." 6. Connections. Children need to feel connected to someone older, preferably a responsible parent or a positive adult role model. If kids don't feel that they count, if they don't feel capable, and if they don't feel connected at home, they'll find it someplace else, perhaps in a negative place. 7. Courage. By encouraging children, adults can inspire them to have the courage to learn new things, make new friends and take risks. How are you training up your child? While it is much more difficult to be a “consultant,” it is the only way to truly instill positive self-esteem and godly values. It is the only way to prepare your children for successful adulthood. Try the seven C’s!