A Quick Course in Parenting - Pt 2

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:10-12 ESV). As we begin this mini-series, the first principle in our course in Christian parenting is to spend time not money. Did you ever hear the story of the Prodigal Father? Some years ago Dr. Joplin wrote it. "A certain man had two sons, and the younger of them said to the father, 'Father, give me the portion of thy time, and thy attention, and thy companionship, and thy counsel and guidance which falleth to me.' And he divided unto them his living, in that he paid his boy's bills, and sent him to a select preparatory school, to dancing schools, and to college, and tried to believe he was doing his full duty by his son. And not many days after, the father gathered all his interests and aspirations and ambitions and took his journey into a far country, into a land of stocks and bonds and securities and other things which do not interest a boy, and there he wasted his precious opportunity of being a chum to his son. And when he had spent the very best of his life, and had gained money, but had failed to find any satisfaction, there arose a mighty famine in his heart and he began to be in want of sympathy and real companionship. And he went and joined himself to one of the clubs of that country and they elected him chairman of the house committee and president of the club and sent him to the legislature. And he fain would have satisfied himself with the husks that other men did eat, and no man gave him any real friendship. And when he came to himself, he said: "How many men of my acquaintance have boys whom they understand and who understand them, who talk about their boys and associate with their boys and seem perfectly happy in the comradeship of their sons, and I perish here with heart hunger? I will arise and go to my son and will say unto him: 'Son, I have sinned against heaven and in thy sight, and I am no more worthy to be called thy father. Make me as one of the thine acquaintances.' And he arose and came to his son. But while he was yet a great way off, his son saw him and was moved with astonishment, he drew back and was ill at ease. And the father said unto him, 'Son, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight. I have not been a father to you, and I am no more worthy to be called thy father. Forgive me now, and let me be your chum. But the son said, 'Not so, for it is too late. There was a time when I wanted your companionship and advice and counsel, but you were too busy. I got the companionship, the wrong kind - and now, I am wrecked in soul and body. It is too late - too late - too late!'" Studies show that a parent’s absence has destructive effects on their children ranging from low self-esteem to hunger for immediate gratification and susceptibility to group influence. Many parents have no idea what their children really think because they never give them a chance to explain. "Can't you see I'm busy?" is a put-down that ought to be banned from the parental vocabulary. One of the songs the Beatles sang says: "She's leaving home after living alone for so many years ..." Woven into the poignant ballad of a runaway daughter is her parents' haunting lament: "We gave her everything money could buy". But they didn't realize money couldn’t buy love. It is interesting that after buying a house for the aunt who brought him up, John Lennon presented her with a plaque, which now hangs in her living room. Engraved on it is the phrase she directed his way almost every day of his adolescent life: "The guitar's all right, but you'll never earn your living with it." It may be a good idea for parents not to be too judgmental about their kids' hobbies! Like so many things in life, parenting is about our presence more than anything else is. Spend some time with your children. Choose your words carefully. They will be long remembered, good or bad!