"The Good Pleasure of God"

And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ. (Ephesians 1:9-10 NIV).

You may have noticed that my typical “fall-back position” is Ephesians. I must confess that I have been reading it a bit more than usual lately. It certainly is one of the most comprehensive letters of Paul dealing with the Church and the incredible grace God has shown toward all who are His children. Today’s reading contains one of the most important truths any of us could fathom. Paul speaks of “the good pleasure” of God in redeeming man through Christ.

I was listening to some old sermons I preached many years ago this week and was reminded of an illustration used for this principle. I told the story of the files I kept from each of the boys with all of their “art work” in them. In fact, I still have those files today. They provide some wonderful memories. However, the point is not in the existence of the files, but in the creation of the work. I remember watching the boys many times as they would sit at the table and begin to work on their assignments. Some of them were whimsical, others were very touching; all of them were the work of their hands “according to their good pleasure.” They chose the colors, the shapes, and the designs; all of the compilation was their choice.

Don’t get all hung up on the concept of predestination. We can certainly discuss that when we have more time and space. Catch the concept of the artist creating the art. That’s the real picture of God as Creator. All of that which exists is done at His good pleasure so that everything ultimately will be brought under the grace and will of Christ. The tragedy is that so many of us decide to remove ourselves from His oversight. It’s ludicrous to think of paper jumping up and telling the artist, “Whoa! You’re taking my beautiful clean white surface and putting all kinds of color on it! Stop!” Or, wouldn’t it be crazy to think of a crayon telling the one who uses it to stop because it didn’t like being used up, or re-sharpened? Yet we as individuals who have claimed to come under the Lordship of Christ refuse daily to bend our wills to His.

And the result of that decision is always the same – a mess! The good news is God never gives up on His art! Some of you have drifted away slowly; others have been driven away by difficulty and challenge; and, still others have fallen under the false teaching of an apostate religious practice. Come back to the table of God’s art work and watch how He begins to color again. It starts with a simple prayer and ends in glorious praise! Let Him restore your life with His grace!

"From Ruin to Glory"

How deserted lies the city, once so full of people! How like a widow is she, who once was great among the nations! She who was queen among the provinces has now become a slave. Bitterly she weeps at night, tears are upon her cheeks. Among all her lovers there is none to comfort her. All her friends have betrayed her; they have become her enemies. After affliction and harsh labor, Judah has gone into exile. She dwells among the nations; she finds no resting place. All who pursue her have overtaken her in the midst of her distress. (Lamentations 1:1-3 NIV).

These and the verses following are among some of the most tragic in the Bible. The mighty city, Jerusalem! Zion, the city of God, the spiritual center of the earth, lies in rubble and ruin, crushed underfoot by the sword of pagan warriors. What makes this scene truly tragic is remembering what led to these circumstances. The people of Israel were the pride of God, his treasured possession. He promised safety and protection if they would follow him and be obedient to his commands. He promised judgment if they turned aside to pagan ways.

We know the story all too well. The Israelites turned away from God. With much patience and many warnings God called the people to repent and return to faithful living. The people responded by plunging deeper into sin. The end result was judgment and downfall, a picture of desolation beginning with the words of our reading today. But the writer of Lamentations continues to write. As he reflects on the destruction of Jerusalem and the sin of the people he also remembers the mercy and faithfulness of God. In the third chapter we emerge from the darkness of despair to the light of God’s hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him. (Lamentations 3:22-24 NIV).

This ought to give all of us great hope. Often when we remember our past we can feel as though we are looking over our shoulder and looking at the rubble we have left behind us. I have counseled with many people who have realized their bad living, bad witness, bad examples, and terrible mistakes have only left a desolate future. But God is faithful with his people. He does not excuse or smooth over our sins, he nails them to the cross. He calls us to live in the forgiveness of sin, and to go and sin no more.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. No matter what ruins lie behind you, the Lord’s mercies for you are new every morning. From the rubble of your forgiven past God will build an edifice of his glory. Your past is not an issue with the Lord when you have asked for His forgiveness. You may still have a “city” to rebuild, but He will help you do that. Are you ready to rebuild? Let’s get started today!

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 4)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

Third, we have found the riches in the FAMILY OF GOD (verses 14-21). Paul comes to the last verb of his thought in this section. He tells them that it is for a specific reason that he kneels before the Father and prays for them.

1. He asks that they be strengthened with power (verse 16). He asks that the target of that strength be their “inner man.” That is the seat of intellectual and spiritual life. It is the point of influence in our lives. Unfortunately, it is often just the opposite. It is there we are most vulnerable. It has become a point of feebleness rather than power in so many Christian’s lives. Paul asks that their power be increased in those areas of faith, trust, humility, love, patience, joy, perseverance, all of those things that come through our intimate walk with the Holy Spirit.

2. He asks that they know the indwelling of Christ. This is far different than an occasional visit or influence of Jesus in our lives. Paul wants them to know the constant power of Christ within them. It is the same power he knew when he faced so many trials and difficulties in his life. It gave him his unwavering knowledge of pardon and acceptance; it molded his will, emotions, enlightening and confirming his conscience that he had been truly forgiven! No wonder he could face death itself and laugh at its consequence. For Paul it was just another doorway to another part of life! That’s a treasure!

3. He asks that they be rooted and established in love. The picture is one of both a tree and a building. The growth of a living tree and the stability of a firmly founded skyscraper are the pictures! He wants god’s love to be so apparent that they are like a tree stretching to the sky and standing against the storms of life like a skyscraper on an indestructible foundation!

4. He asks that they really understand the love of Christ. Isn’t this the great mystery? How and why god would send His only begotten Son to die for us is incomprehensible. Yet, he prays they may both comprehend (a mental grasp) and “know” (an experiential knowledge) that love. It is like placing a teacup on the shore of the ocean as the tide comes in. The teacup cannot hold all of the ocean, yet it holds the ocean’s full character as it is filled with the tide rolling in over it.

It staggers the imagination. However, we must not, we dare not, make the mistake of thinking that it is impossible. Paul says we have found the code that releases the treasure into our keeping! He breaks out into this doxology because of his absolute confidence that whatever we ask of God He is able to do:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Now, isn’t that a God you can trust too?

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 3)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

A second truth is that we have found the riches in the WONDER OF THE CHURCH (verses 10-13). There are three singular principles Paul outlines in this section:

1. One of the greatest treasures is the Church, the body of Christ (verse 10). I know that there are many who would argue with that statement. If we look at the church merely as an institution there is a basis for such an argument. The church has had a checkered past with its sins and wars. Yet when we truly look within the marvelous nature of the church cannot be exaggerated. At the heart of the church’s existence is a covenant, a “testament” as the familiar title pages of our Bibles clearly tell us. To create heaven and earth was a wonder in itself. It was a further marvel to create man as a rational being, a being free to turn into a rebel against his Creator. But then to woo him back to a relationship of love and obedience, to create a people who live emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually in a similar relationship of grace and forgiveness is a wonder indeed!

2. The apostle then says it was according to his eternal purpose (verse 11). The emphatic nature of Paul’s argument is clearly shown here. We have gained this great gift through no accident nor work of our own doing. It is through the eternal will and purpose of the almighty Creator, Lord of all creation!

3. Then Paul places a capstone on this truth as he writes: In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence (verse 12). These three concepts of access, freedom, and confidence are bound together. The word translated “approach” is a word that would be used in the phrase “freedom of speech.” It means we can come to Him and say whatever is on our heart and mind. In fact, he emphasizes that truth with the next descriptor of “freedom.” It speaks of the notion that there is no need for fear of rejection. We won’t be turned away from His presence for any reason. And, last he uses the word “confidence.” It really indicates assurance. The three words together form one complete idea that through faith we have free, unrestricted, confident access to God!

But wouldn’t you expect that? Surely that’s what Jesus meant when He used the comparison of God as our Heavenly Father and said:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:7-11 NIV).

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 2)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

Today we return to the series of the treasure that is ours in Christ. First, we have found the riches in the FELLOWSHIP OF THE MYSTERY. Various translations have used different words to convey the meaning of the word “administration.” The Revised Standard Version uses “dispensation”; The King James Version uses “fellowship”; and The Message simply says “things that are way over my head”! The emphasis ought to be on the word “mystery.” One of the great riches of Christ is found in the “mystery” that “while we were yet sinners” He would come and die for us (cf. Romans 5:6-8). That’s what captivated Paul! He had found this great treasure and become a steward in the worldwide distribution of God’s message of grace.

It is not a trifling matter. To think of the lengths that God went to in order to redeem us is incredible. I have heard others explain away this mysterious blessing by charging that God had no other choice. Somehow He had to save man from the consequences of his sin. His nature demanded that He send Jesus. How dare we cheapen the great gift of God’s only begotten Son with such a declaration! As if the almighty Creator and Sustainer of the universe had no other choice! He had a choice and He chose grace!

Since the very beginning when Adam and Eve chose to live in opposition to God, He has been working this great mystery of grace on our behalf. Surely you remember the story. God comes to the garden to walk with them as was His custom. He calls out to them, knowing well they were hiding in their shame and guilt, “Adam, where are you?” do you believe for a moment that God did not know where Adam was? Can you not see the impact of his gentle compassion for Adam and Eve? Adam finally answers, “We’re over here.” He’s hiding behind some bushes because he is ashamed of his nakedness. I’ve always found that a little humorous! Like God did not know what they looked like! But still God is patient. He asks, “What happened?” And the blame game begins. Adam blames Eve; Eve blames the serpent; and God speaks. He allowed the curse of death to fall on them. He allowed them to reap what they had sown even though it must have broken His heart. But God also told them of the promise of the Savior. He spoke the promise to them with clarity as He said their “seed” would “bruise the head of the tempter’s “seed.” Through humanity God would allow Himself to become the perfect sacrifice to pay the full and final price for our redemption. But He didn’t stop there. God’s plan would take thousands of years to unfold and finalize their redemption. God also ministered to their immediate need. He made garments for them to go out into the world from the “skins of animals.” Even then God was showing them the tremendous price that would be paid for their choice. That’s the treasure! God reached across the vast separation between He and man with the life of His Son as eternal payment in full for our sin and brought us home! Who can probe the depths of such grace!

"Happy Birthday Becca!"

Today I am diverting from the series in The Unsearchable Riches of Christ because it is my daughter-in-law’s birthday! We’ll continue with the series tomorrow, but today I am compelled to write a few lines because of the tremendous inspiration Becca has been to me since she joined our family. This last year I have had the privilege of spending quite a lot of time with both David and Becca as I have stayed in their home when I traveled and worked in Texas. The warmth of hospitality and gracious way I have been treated each time has not gone unnoticed. Some would say that is merely the “normal” course of behavior; however I have counseled enough couples in my years to know it is not an automatic response. It is a conscious choice that one makes to accept and love your spouse’s family. Sometimes it is not an easy choice either!

Hospitality is often a lost art in today’s world, even among family members. Sometimes it merely seems like one more thing to do in an already overcrowded schedule. It is true that entertaining guests, especially family, is often overwhelming. However, it can be a great blessing to both the one who gives it and the one receiving it. Our reading today speaks clearly to the point:

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. (1 Peter 4:8-11 NIV).

The key is in showing God’s love through our hospitality. That is done best simply by being warm and welcoming. Isn’t that the real picture of God? You see it’s not just a matter of opening our home to someone. That is important. However the real gift of hospitality is in opening your heart to someone. That is the real gift. I have always felt an open heart from Becca. In fact, both my daughter-in-laws, are such gracious women. That means more to me than I could ever describe.

Let me go further and challenge you to be hospitable to both your family and those around you. Open your heart to them. Give them the gift of acceptance. Perhaps you have someone in your family or circle of friends that just seems to be hard to “like.” View them as God views them. You will find yourself in a much better position to be gracious toward them!

Happy Birthday, Becca! Thanks for everything you mean to our family, especially to me!

"The Unsearchable Riches of Christ" (Part 1)

Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in God, who created all things. His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord. In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:8-12 NIV).

I must confess to being a bit “lazy” with this series. I’m actually writing two things at once. This Sunday, August 1st, I will be preaching at a Baptist church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Since it is the day before my 61st birthday I have chosen to rewrite one of my favorite sermons and make it the basis for the devotionals . I have actually preached this message in many churches. In fact, it was first preached in February, 1979 at University Heights Baptist Church; I then used it in every other church I pastored as the selection for my first sermon as pastor. It presents the heart of what I believe is the central message of God!

It is an intensely personal section of the epistle. It begins with a prayer which is interrupted with a lengthy digression that forms the extended interpretation of Paul’s ministry to the Gentiles. It is as if Paul is praying and then feels compelled to parenthetically provide an explanation to his readers. From this he makes this incredible declaration of his call to “preach the unsearchable riches of Christ.”

The Apostle Paul says that he has now become privy to a far great treasure than any man may have hidden. It is the treasure of grace that is unsearchable in its depth or height, breadth or length. It is the content of Paul’s message to the Gentiles then and to us today. This phrase, the unsearchable riches of Christ, uses a very vivid Greek word. It literally means “untrackable,” or “inexplorable.” It is simply too vast to be measured! Curtis Vaughn says of it:

It suggests the figure of a man standing, with uplifted arms, in a posture of great amazement, before continuous revelations of immeasurable and unspeakable glory. It is as if a man were tracking out the confines of a lake, walking its boundaries, and when the circuit were almost complete should find that it was no lake at all, but an arm of the ocean, and that he was confronted by the immeasurable sea!

That is his message! That is the treasure! And when we begin to hear it ourselves we must be struck by it as well. That God would love us so much that He would send His only son to die on our behalf, giving us access to fellowship with Him again is the most incredible treasure any man could possess! That’s the measure of God’s grace!

"Traditions"

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!" Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: “'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'" (Matthew 15:1-9 NIV).

Tradition can be a very good thing. In fact, it often provides a sense of foundation in many families and individuals. We have several family traditions that have been very important through the years. One of them is our annual gathering for Christmas. Because of the geographic differences we now experience, it has proven best to gather at David and Becca’s home for the fellowship and exchanging of gifts. It is always a great time! It provides a foundation for the family. There are other traditions in our family that are equally important and beneficial.

I also have some personal traditions that have been good for me. One of those is the wearing of my wedding and college rings. You will rarely see me without them. I know that the wearing of the rings do not make me more of a husband or an Aggie, but they provide a foundation for who I desire to be.

There are others, but the real point of today’s Morning Devotional is found in our reading. Jesus indicates the danger of holding to some traditions. These are those practices that keep us from truly doing the will of God. The Pharisees and teachers of the law condemned the disciples because they didn’t ceremonially cleanse themselves before they ate their meal. Jesus answered them with a question concerning their own practices. You see, they had conveniently chosen some of the laws to strictly observe while ignoring or twisting others to their benefit. Thus Jesus says the nullify the word of God.

I find we often do the same thing in our relationships with others, both in the church and outside the church. We have chosen some “pet” sins to magnify while letting others go unmentioned. You can fill in the blanks of which those are in your church! My point is not to condemn, but to lift the importance of practicing grace among one another. Every sin hurts us, but our focus should not be on condemnation, shame, or guilt. Our focus ought to be on forgiveness, grace, and freedom. Don’t merely honor God with your lips. Honor Him with your heart!

"Bureaucratic Red Tape"

One of the criminals hanging beside him scoffed, “So you’re the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself—and us, too, while you’re at it!” But the other criminal protested, “Don’t you fear God even when you have been sentenced to die? We deserve to die for our crimes, but this man hasn’t done anything wrong.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:39-43 NIV).

I am sure that as you read the title for today’s issue of Morning Devotional you may have been tempted to think that I was about to step over into politics. As much as I might like to do that from time to time, this is not one of them. So, let me start at the beginning so you will have a little context. I am writing this issue on Friday for tonight’s mailing and it has been quite an eventful day. It started with another round of working with my computer to free up some memory. I am not a tech person and that is always a challenge, however I may have put a band aid on it and it seems to be working better. Then my schedule started to compress a bit. I had a pretty long list of details to take care of for the day. Some were benign and others essential to the future of Grace Restoration Ministries.

One of those essentials was to get a bank account established in GRM’s name so that I can begin to receive money from various sources to support the ministry. How hard could that be? Well, as it turns out it was an all afternoon affair as I went from office to office in two cities to get the necessary documentation and licenses I needed to make a deposit! It seems that I needed a license from both the city and county in which I live to declare the “business” in operation. And, I needed the appropriate federal designations and ID numbers to prove that we are duly registered with the state of Tennessee and the IRS. I did think several times that perhaps George Orwell’s 1984 was unfolding before my eyes! I did it done, but it cut into my schedule significantly. By the time I dotted all the “i’s” and crossed all the “t’s” it was three and a half hours later! My first thought was that was a lot of bureaucratic red tape! And my second thought was how glad I am that it’s a lot easier to get into heaven than opening a business bank account!

Then I remembered the penitent thief on the cross next to Jesus. Don’t misunderstand. It is not easy or simple to gain eternal life. It is difficult and costly. But Jesus has already done all that needs to be done and paid all that needs to be paid on our behalf. He has opened an account in our name that is brim-full and overflowing with grace. Further it never needs to be replenished. We can draw from it anytime and as much as we need or want! That’s what the Apostle Paul meant when he said he had discovered the “unsearchable riches in Christ.” No wonder John Bunyan called it “Amazing Grace.” It truly is! My challenge to you today is to believe and practice the life of divine royalty, for so you are when you receive His gift of eternal life. If you have not trusted yourself to Him you can right now. There is no need to wait a moment. His promise to you is the same as that thief… TODAY you will be with Me in Paradise! No red tape in that promise!

"The Gift of Hope"

I had to do some errands the other day and while driving by a local church, I saw these words written on a sign at a local church. It said, "Hope Is Real." I thought about it and certainly agreed with the statement. But as I pondered the simple little phrase, I realized that for many people hope is not real. I believe that is one of the most important gifts we can give to another person, the gift of hope. You see, someone who is hopeless and alone usually cannot help themselves out of their situations. They have a great sense of loss and helplessness. We must come alongside and bring the good news of Jesus Christ and all that He has to offer. The more I thought about that, the more the following verses came to mind:

Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10: 10 NIV).

One definition for hope is: To look forward to with confidence or expectation. We must bring the grace of God with all its hope to someone who does not know it is real. When we bring hope, we bring life. It is life changing to finally believe again. It is more than just asking God for something we so badly need; we must expect our miracle. Somewhere in the midst of asking, believing, and expecting God to answer, we will find what we are looking for.

I have felt for a long time that the biggest problem we have in the world today is there are so many people who have lost hope. There seems to be so many hurts, problems, sicknesses, troubles, financial woes, family problems, world issues, political concerns, and scores of others, it seems the world has no hope.

The truth is apart from God, it is an awful, hopeless place. But with God's help, we can make it. I want you to know that whatever situation you find yourself in at this moment, there is hope. You may not be able to see or feel the hope, but it is there for you. Let me help you find that hope again: Come to the “gate”! Once you are within that secure place no one and no thing will be able to steal away your joy and peace, Jesus promises us a life to the full! How about it? Can I come alongside you for a little while and help you see and know that grace? Write me and let’s see if we can get there together!

"By the Inch It's a Cinch"

No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (Philippians 3:13-14 NLT).

I have heard it said many times that life is “hard by the mile, but a cinch by the inch. I remember reading some years ago how Vince Lombardi had often been described as the greatest football coach in modern times. He was a tremendous motivator. Before a group of sportswriters, he was once asked to explain why the Green Bay Packers won so many ball games. Everyone was expecting some profound insight into the complexities of the game of football and the unique genius of a coach who was about to unravel the mysteries of his success. Instead, his response was simple and straightforward:

Football is a game that requires you to move the ball 10 yards in four attempts. Football games are not won on 50-yard pass plays or 90-yard running plays. They are won by moving the ball 10 yards in four attempts. The other team will do everything in its power to prevent you from achieving this. So it is a game of who's best prepared. Who wants to win the most, and who never loses sight of the fact that all you have to do is move the ball 10 yards at a time.

Vince Lombardi was a winner because he never lost sight of the importance of the principle of by the inch it’s a cinch. Lombardi wasn't saying that we shouldn't have worthwhile goals. Not at all. His goal was to win football games. Our goal as Christians is to win at what God calls us to be and do. And that isn't achieved overnight. It's steady perseverance, year in and year out. As with the Apostle Paul, we don't win the prize from God until our life's work on earth is done.

I like the way the Apostle Paul wrote to the Galatians: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. (Galatians 6:9-10 NLT).

Perhaps its time for you to take smaller bites of life and realize that your steady progress toward your goal is getting you closer and closer to the ultimate prize of eternal life!

"the Face of Favor" (Part 3)

A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. (Mark 15:21-24 NIV).

J. Sidlow Baxter says that Simon was converted on the Day of Pentecost. We don’t know for sure when, but the “why” is apparent. The bearing of the cross of Jesus made an eternal impact on him. Simon must have left Golgotha and been troubled at the sight of what he had seen. Surely he couldn’t just shake those images. Over the next three days he must have spent a great deal of time pondering what he had experienced. It was certainly far different than he had imagined as he had dreamed of his pilgrimage in the years leading to that singular event in his life. It’s not hard to imagine that just fifty days later when he heard Peter preaching, he also felt the compulsion in his spirit that called him to faith and commitment. He went into very active and public service following that day. In fact, he is the Simon we later learn was a prominent leader at the church in Antioch.

I read a story about a monk who prayed night and day to receive the marks of the Lord upon his hands and feet. A vision was given to the monk where he was shown another mark on Jesus that most of the world had forgotten. It was the mark left on his shoulder from bearing the cross, falling under its weight three times. He was also told that if he truly desired the marks on his hands and feet, he must first have the mark on his shoulder!

There are two closing remarks in this little series about the face of favor and the difference it makes in our lives. First, regardless of what you have done, or not done, Jesus turns His face toward you in acceptance not rejection; forgiveness, not judgment. That’s the central message of the Cross. He died so that we might live. He suffered so that we might be set free. He paid our penalties in full! The second remark is that the cross we are called to bear can be heavy, perhaps even causing us to stumble and fall. Jesus intimately understands that! In fact, he has already prepared others to come along side us and help carry it! It’s strange that cross-bearing always precedes crown-bearing. However, it is the calling we all are asked to accept.

There is a verse of an old hymn that speaks to me: “Must Jesus bear the cross alone and all the world go free? No, there is a cross for everyone, and there’s a cross for me.” The original words of that verse are different. It went “Must Simon bear the cross alone, and other saints god free? Each saint of thine shall find his own, and there is one for me.” How about it? Have you taken up your cross? Come on, join me. It is a great journey. It is a path that leads to abundant life!

"The Face of Favor" (Part 2)

A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. (Mark 15:21-24 NIV).

Today we’ll continue with out look at “The Face of Favor.” As I said yesterday, there is no better place to see the grace and love of God than at the cross. However, it is impossible to fully comprehend that event. It is indeed the greatest of mysteries in the Scripture. Oh, sure, we can understand some of the historical significance of the cross, but that won’t allow us to experience tis reality. We can theorize about its theological importance and still be untouched by its power. Christians and non-believers alike can be moved by the idea of the substitutionary suffering of a man for the love of his friends, but miss entirely the cosmic implications of what happened at Golgotha. The reason for that is in the nature of Calvary. It is eternal in its impact, power, and grace.

Lloyd J. Ogilvie tells of an experience he had one Easter, when he conducted a survey of one hundred members of various Christian churches about the difference the Cross made to them. The specific questions was: Would it have made any difference in your life as you are now living if Christ had not died on the cross? Forty-five said they didn’t think so! Twenty-five said they thought so, but didn’t know what that difference would be. Twenty indicated it made all the difference in both what they believed and how they lived. And ten said they didn’t even understand what the cross was all about!

It’s easy to look at “them” and not at ourselves. The real question in trying to know what God looks like is this question. What difference does the Cross make in our lives? If we were really honest with ourselves, we would be able to say that it has made a difference in our lives verbally, though our actions tell a different tale. The real meaning of the Cross must be captured in our lives in such a way as to make them truly different. This is the story of Simon of Cyrene.

That’s where we’re going in the next few days. Today I Hope you will acknowledge the need in your life to make Jesus and the relationship you have with Him through the atoning work of grace in the Cross the single most determining factor of your life. Forget all the slogans like WWJD (old I know, but you get the idea) and focus on the face of Jesus who smiles in forgiveness and welcome to give you eternal life! That, after all, is really what God looks like!

"the Face of Favor" (Part 1)

A certain man from Cyrene, Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was passing by on his way in from the country, and they forced him to carry the cross. They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull). Then they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him. (Mark 15:21-24 NIV).

The July 17th issue of Morning Devotionals, “What Does God Look Like?” (http://www.gracerestoration.org/site/?p=439) ended with my assertion that God has a “yes face.” The more I began to think about that statement, the more I began to ponder how others must have seen Jesus during His earthly ministry. What better place to see the reaction of those who “saw” Jesus than at the cross? As you imagine being there, seeing the people gathered, there are many faces in the crowd. Some of them were friendly, some antagonistic, others indifferent; however, each tells a specific story. One of those was Simon of Cyrene. At first you may say he was there unwillingly, conscripted by the Roman soldiers to merely carry the cross of Jesus to Golgotha. But, as time passes and we learn more about him from the Scripture, we see he was grateful to have been elected for this honor.

Simon was born into a dedicated Jewish home in the North African city of Cyrene. His parents expressed their faith by giving him the name Simon at birth. Simon was a prominent son of Jacob. Being such a faithful family Simon must have dreamed of the day when he would be able to make his pilgrimage to Jerusalem at Passover. When he first entered the city he must have been agog at the sight of the Temple. He must ave felt something else though. There was a great disturbance in the city. The rumor was that a teacher from Galilee had arrived. There was sharp division among the Jews as to the purpose and identity of this man. Some felt certain he was the long awaited messiah, while others argued he was no more than a charlatan, a false prophet. It was widely rumored that the religious leaders were plotting his death.

This was the setting for Simon’s introduction to Jesus. On the day of the great Passover Feast, Simon came upon this strange spectacle. He saw a noisy crowd clustered around a small group of Roman soldiers. In their midst was a very weary, weakened, bloodied man. He was carrying a cross to his execution. Undoubtedly the crowds were shouting, the soldiers were prodding the man along. The man falls, not once, but three times under the strain. Just then, as the soldiers tired of this parade, wanting nothing but to be finished with their grisly assignment, their eyes fell on Simon. Seizing him, as was within their power, they ordered him to carry the cross. For the first time, Simon saw Jesus. From that moment on his life would never be the same. That’s the way it is with Jesus. Once you have seen Him you can never be the same. The Face of Favor demands a decision. Simon decided then this man was no ordinary man. The events that would follow would prove it for him. We’ll look more closely at those events and the challenge it has for us today in the next few days. However, can I ask you if you have seen Jesus? How has that changed your life? Stay tuned!

"Bigger Fish to Fry"

In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord. Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:4-8 NIV).

Summer is over half over! The time seems to be flying by and the faster I go the more frustrating it can be to not get everything done that I really want to do! At least once a day, I have to sit myself down and remind myself that there really are some “bigger fish to fry.” A lot of the things I feel I need to do, once I have reevaluated each, become less and less of a priority.

The past few weeks have been especially like that. Many of you know that one of the therapeutic treatments that I have for my hemachromatosis is to regularly give blood. At least once every eight weeks I need to get rid of a pint of blood. It’s the only way to control the level of iron in my body. Up until a month ago I had no problem just breezing into the local blood bank and donating a unit of blood. However, I was informed that a new decision had been made and they were no longer going to be able to accept my donation. There had been a change in the status because of new FDA recommendations. That meant I needed a standing doctor’s order to get the blood taken at a hematologist (I know… one more “ologist” in my life). Well, that really shouldn’t be much of a problem, except through a series of events, doctor on vacation, no one to cover non-emergency issues, etc., it took nearly a month and more phone conversations that I care to comment about to finally get it done!

So, here’s the point. As I was driving back from a meeting in Nashville, I was thinking of all the things I needed to get done and God reminded me that some things are more important than others. This problem would be solved in due course and nothing I could do would hurry it along. However, I thought that since I had a little extra time appear on my calendar, it would be a good time to see if I could drop by and see the kids. I called Kyle and discovered they were about to leave for Logan’s Tae Kwon Do class which was just a few minutes away from where I was at the time. I asked if I could join them and watch. Of course the answer was yes. The whole time I watched I realized that there really couldn’t have been a better use of my time.

Then an epiphany took place. You know, the more I worry about the “big” problems I need to solve and the huge list of priorities to be completed, the more it takes me away from THE priority of life. Truthfully, I have no problems AT ALL to solve. Sure, there are lots of things to be done. But the Lord has all of that under control. I merely need to take the next steps He has given me and concentrate on what really matters – my relationship with Him and my family! Here’s the promise again: I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Now let’s fry the big fish!

"What Does God Look Like?"

Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them." Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:1-7 NIV).

I heard a great story the other day of the mother who notices her four-year-old daughter creeping into her baby brother’s room where he lies sleeping. Curious, the mother watches as the girl whispers to her baby brother, “What does God look like? I forgot.” It’s easy to forget sometimes. Jesus had a solution to that. We call them parables. They really are pictures of his heavenly Father. They are earthly stories with heavenly meanings, each one a snapshot to remind us what God is like. One such snapshot is called “the Parable of the Lost Sheep.” I have recorded it for you in our reading today.

The parable is really humorous in some ways. Jesus was like that. He would tell the story in such a way as to teach a significant principle about the character of the Heaven Father, but it would always both inspire and inform. I always come away from the parables with a smile in my heart and on my face. Here’s the story. “This man receives sinners,” the Pharisees grumped, “and eats with them.” By the way, most legalists are grumpy! He uses this fact to answer a very important question. After all, why did Jesus hang around with sinners? Well, the truth was pretty simple. Just like a doctor cannot fix a broken leg from across the street. God cannot fix human sinfulness from across the sky. You have to go where the need is.

The first message of grace is the incarnation of Jesus Christ. “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us,” writes John (1:14). We are lost, and God comes to find us in the person of his Son. The Creator stoops to our level in order to redeem us. In the same way Jesus eats with sinners in order to redeem them. This parable ends on a joyous note. Everyone is happy except the Pharisees, who grumble: “This man receives sinners, and eats with them.” Of course he does. Where else would He be? That’s why He came!

Today, if you’re wondering what God looks like, let me remind you that he has a “yes face” and a beaming smile when he finds you. To find Him again whisper His name and He’ll show up right next to you with His arms open wide to gather you to Himself!

"Rebuilding the City of Our Fathers" (Part 4)

I also said to him, "If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the king's forest, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?" And because the gracious hand of my God was upon me, the king granted my requests. (Nehemiah 2:7-8 NIV).

I hope you are following this series. However, if you are just joining Morning Devotionals you may find the other issues on the web at www.gracerestoration.org. Today we come to the last principles which are revealed in Nehemiah’s exchange with King Artaxerxes. There are two important things in our reading today. First note that Nehemiah knew what he needed to get the job done. Often we talk in terms that keep people from seeking knowledge. We act as if faith alone is enough. Faith is essential, but knowledge with faith is most powerful. In the case of restoring grace and rebuilding the walls for our families and churches this is precisely the reason I have committed my time and energy to answer a specific call of God in the establishment of Grace Restoration Ministries. I have sensed God’s call to work with families and churches in a unique ministry of life coaching and counseling for some time. You’ll hear more about that soon, but the point is each of us has been prepared for a task and must learn from others in the rebuilding of the walls. There is no weakness or disgrace in seeking the wisdom and help of others. In fact, we are told to do so (cf. James 1:2-5).

Second, note that Nehemiah understood the basis of his hope. Never lose your sense of hope. As bad as it may seem, there is always hope because of the God we serve. Do you remember Charles Shultz’s book “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”? On Halloween night, the Peanuts gang goes trick-or-treating and to a party, but Linus refuses. Instead, he persuades Charlie Brown’s little sister, Sally, to sit with him in a pumpkin patch to await the Great Pumpkin. Linus announces that if you “sincerely” believe in the Great Pumpkin and wait for him in a “sincere” pumpkin patch, he would arrive bearing gifts. “He’ll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity,” Linus muses. Charlie Brown tells Sally that the Great Pumpkin doesn’t exist, but she joins Linus anyhow. What beckons her, however, is not so much her belief in the Great Pumpkin as her crush on Linus.

The basis of our hope is somewhat the same. Through the grace of God in Christ Jesus we have been given a restoration relationship and standing with Him. Because He has loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on our behalf and in our stead, we can KNOW hope. Let’s each take back our family, church, community, and nation. Let’s rebuild the walls and fight for our family!

"Rebuilding the City of Our Fathers" (Part 3)

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart." I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?" The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." (Nehemiah 2:1-5 NIV).

I hope you are following this series. However, if you are just joining Morning Devotionals you may find the other issues on the web at www.gracerestoration.org. Today we come to the second principle which is revealed in Nehemiah’s exchange with King Artaxerxes. Nehemiah had come to feel the burden of the rebuilding of Jerusalem, but he didn’t know specifically what to do until he prayed! Simply stated praying and spending time with God is essential to understanding the call from God. Success in your life depends on success in your personal time with God. If you fail in your personal devotions with God, you will fail.

Some years ago I read the experience of Jay Kesler, once President of Youth for Christ and the President of Taylor University from 1985-2000. He was on one of his frequent flights when lunch was served and the young man seated next to him declined a lunch tray. During the whole lunchtime this man sat with his head bowed, apparently in prayer. Kesler was impressed by the man's apparent devotion. He commented to the young man that he wondered if he was a Christian because it appeared that he was fasting. The young man replied with words that shook Kelser to the core of his being. "I am a Satanist and the members of my church have agreed to fast every Friday at noon. During that time we pray that the leaders of the Christian world will fall. We pray that they will fall into sexual sin, and that their family life would crumble." They understood the importance of prayer!

Before you dismiss that story as merely an isolated incident, in March, 2009 Richard Dawkins, noted atheist, began a tour across our nation’s universities evangelizing to his cause. At the end of the lectures he invites people to come forward to denounce their “faith” and be “debaptized.” They are immersed with the declaration that they no longer believe in God! Our walls have been reduced to rubble and our nation is on the brink of destruction! I fear that many in the church today have ignored the signs of our times and continue to imagine that someone else will guard their family and community. The call to rebuild the walls is clearer than ever. To succeed we must be joined in prayer and devotion to our God. Join me in commitment to daily devotion and prayer!

"Rebuilding the City of Our Fathers" (Part 2)

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart." I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?" The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." (Nehemiah 2:1-5 NIV).

The first principle is revealed in the highlighted verses of our reading today. Nehemiah had come to feel the burden of the rebuilding of Jerusalem. It affected him so deeply that the king noticed it on his face. He called it a “sadness of heart.” The king asked him an incredibly penetrating question: Why?

Isn’t that the question we all ask in times of crisis? We want to know why the innocent suffer. We can’t seem to grasp why there is such injustice in our world and we long to have the answers to why. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is this world so unfair? We’ve all heard the explanation that we simply “can't understand God's ways." The trouble with that answer is in its very nature. It’s the wrong question, so it is the wrong answer! Nehemiah didn’t ask why. He knew that question and its answer wouldn’t make a difference for the future of Jerusalem. Of course, we must all learn from the mistakes of our past. We ought to be careful not to repeat destructive behavior. That will always produce destructive consequences. However, our incessant bemoaning of the present will not change the future.

Understanding Nehemiah’s answer, the king then asked the correct question: what do you want? Nehemiah wanted to rebuild the city and restore peace to his homeland. Now, here’s the real issue for us today… I am sure there are few, if any, who do not want to rebuild our nation and restore peace in our nation. The differences are in the solutions being offered today. Our government and many of our churches today have adopted a philosophy that the solution rests in a process or program. That philosophy will never work. You will never lighten the load until you feel the pressure of the burden in your own heart. Programs must never take the place of people. People must always precede programs.

WE must take the responsibility of restoration into our hearts and then put our hands to the task one person at a time. Jesus always affected change in the lives of others one person at a time. He did it because he felt their needs and pain one person at a time. If our nation fails it will not be because the wrong party was in power, or the program was not sufficient for the need. If our churches fail, it will not be because we didn’t implement the most recent programs. If our families fail, it will not be because we didn’t follow the rules perfectly. If they fail, it will be because we didn’t begin the rebuilding of the walls! As for me, I’m committed to doing everything I can to rebuild the walls to join in Nehemiah’s commitment to fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes (Nehemiah 4:14). Will you?

"Rebuilding the City of Our Fathers" (Part 1)

In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, "Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart." I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?" The king said to me, "What is it you want?" Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, "If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so that I can rebuild it." (Nehemiah 2:1-5 NIV).

Nehemiah has been “brewing” a bit in my heart over the last few weeks. I have read it several times and in the next few days we’ll be looking at some selected passages that have struck me as very contemporary. Today’s reading is one of those where just a few words lit up before me as if a spotlight had been trained on them! The last verse is Nehemiah’s answer to the king’s question of what he wanted. He said he wanted to go home, “where his fathers were buried,” to rebuild the city that lay in ruin.

There are two things about this verse that are interesting. First, he uses the plural for the word “father.” All of us know that we only have one biological father; therefore, Nehemiah must be referencing something more than that. I believe he is talking about all of the men who have influenced him. These were the leaders of the nation of Israel that had proven such a faithful inspiration to him. Second, he says they are “buried” there. Undoubtedly it is a reference to the fact that these men of the faith had died and were either literally or figuratively buried there.

Doesn’t that sound very contemporary to you? Israel was a great nation that associated itself with God. They represented all that was right and good to the world. They were the chosen people of God and at least a part of their calling was to bless the other peoples of the world with that knowledge of the incredibly loving God. We know how the story ends. They were disobedient and rebellious, turning away from God. There judgment came at the expense of there freedom.

I would not say that the United States stands on equal ground relationally with the Israel of the Old Testament. However, I would say that we were founded clearly on the principles of the will and purpose of the God of Israel. America has uniquely been a nation of people called together under the principles found with the Judeo-Christian mindset. The men who are our “fathers” were men committed to God. Yet, when I look at our nation today we are on the verge of collapse. Our nation’s walls have been breached and we teeter on the brink of losing our freedom. The family, which has been at the heart of our nation’s success, is in danger of complete destruction. The church seems impotent and unaware as it busies itself with programs, while ignoring people who desperately seek an answer. The clear call for me is to be like Nehemiah! We need to rise up and go “home” to rebuild the “city”! There are some practical principles that we’ll look at in the next few days, but will you join me in a commitment to rebuild the city? Email me back and let me know! Forward this challenge to your friends!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 16)

Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. (Psalm 127 NLT).

Let’s conclude this series with three questions: First, is the Lord really building your home? Stop and think about your answer. Second, do you view your family as God’s gifts and rewards? Gifts and rewards are usually treated with special care, aren’t they? Are you genuinely happy with your “full quiver”? Third, is it pleasant for your family to be with you? When we allow the tyranny of the urgent, the ever increasing demands of life, to siphon our tank of energy and interest so the family is left with nothing but the fumes of broken promises and empty dreams, we are laboring in vain! We are substituting the artificial for the authentic. And that includes Christians who are so busy in “the Lord’s work” that they haven’t time for the home. What a sad contradiction their lives are! Don’t let the time slip away in your family. Start making is like God’s family today! Here’s a closing thought from Charles Swindoll:

“Someday when the kids are grown, things are going to be a lot different. The garage won’t be full of bikes, electric train tracks on plywood, sawhorses surrounded by chunks of two-by-fours, nails, hammer and saw, unfinished experimental projects and the rabbit cage. I’ll be able to park both cars neatly in just the right places, and never again stumble over skateboards, a pile of papers (saved for the school fund drive), or a bag of rabbit food – now split and spilled.

“Someday when the kids are grown, the kitchen will be incredibly neat. The sink will be free of sticky dishes, the garbage disposal won’t get choked on rubber bands or paper cups, the refrigerator won’t be clogged with nine bottles of milk, and won’t lose the tops to jelly jars, catsup bottles, the peanut butter, the margarine or the mustard. The water jar won’t be put back empty, the ice trays won’t be left out overnight, the blender won’t stand for six hours coated with the remains of midnight malt, and the honey will stay inside the container.

“Someday when the kids are grown, the instrument called a telephone will actually be available. It won’t look like its growing from a teenager’s ear. It will simply hang there… silently and amazingly available. It will be free of lipstick, human saliva, mayonnaise, corn chip crumbs, and toothpicks stuck in those little holes. Someday when the kids are grown, I’ll be able to see through the car windows. Fingerprints, tongue licks, sneaker footprints, and dog tracks (nobody knows how) will be conspicuous by their absence. The back seat won’t be a disaster area, we won’t sit on crayons or jacks anymore, and the tank will not always be between empty and fumes.

“Someday when the kids are grown, we will return to normal conversations. You know, just plain American talk. ‘Gross’ won’t punctuate every sentence. ‘Yuk’ will not be heard. Grunts will be replaced by normal sounds of discernable words. ‘It’s my turn’ won’t call for a referee. And mom and dad will actually be able to finish a conversation without hiding in the attic to do so! Someday when the kids are grown, we won’t run out of toilet tissue. My wife won’t lose her keys. We won’t forget to shut the refrigerator door, I won’t have to divert attention away from the gumball machines… or have to answer ‘Daddy is it a sin to drive 62 in a 55 mph speed zone?’

“Yes, someday when the kids are gone, things are going to be a lot different. One by one they’ll leave our nest, and the place will begin to resemble order and maybe even a touch of elegance. The clink of china and silver will heard on occasion. The crackling of the fireplace will echo through the hallway. The phone will be strangely silent. The house will be quiet… and calm… and always clean… and empty… and filled with memories… and lonely… and we will not like that at all. And we’ll spend our time not looking forward to someday, but looking back to yesterday. And thinking, ‘Maybe we can baby-sit the grand-kids and get some life back into this place for a change.’”

"A Family Like God's" (Part 15)

Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" (Luke 15: 25-32, NIV).

Today we come to the last principle in this series. As we continue making our families like God’s family we will look at the tenth principle: It takes two to argue, short circuit arguments with calm wisdom. I love the way the parable ends. It certainly would be a great lesson with just the two main characters of the father and the lost son, but Jesus adds one more. He tells the reaction of the older son who stayed with his father and now is resentful and angry.

It is a natural reaction. You’ve certainly seen it in your own family. When one sibling feels they have been slighted they tend to lash out at you for your “unfairness.” This feeling may be rooted in something you’ve done for another child, or simply denied them from doing or having. I remember vividly the discussions we used to have over who would get to “ride shotgun” in the car. Rather than let the first one who “called it” get to ride in the front seat, my decision was to allow the tallest to ride where there was the most room. Sometimes that was Kyle, others David, or Aaron when it was just he and I. The point was that I had to make a decision that wasn’t very popular sometimes. And, there were times when an argument would rise to the surface. It would have been pretty easy to say that I was the Dad and the decision was final. However, that simply wasn’t satisfactory. It merely continued the argument. Calm wisdom demanded that I explain. They may not have liked the explanation, but now there wasn’t a competition set in motion either between them and me, or each other.

A family is not supposed to be a game where someone wins and someone loses. It is our responsibility as adults to make certain that everyone wins. So, when you feel as if the situation is slipping into one of those grueling cross examinations by your budding prosecuting attorney, just don’t play the game! I know that is certainly much easier to say than do, but the action will be prompted by the commitment. This is especially true as your children begin to stretch for more independence and freedom. Parenting is not a competition to be won. It is a journey to be experienced. The goal is to help our children become positive, mature, affirmative adults.

"A Family Like God's" (Part 14)

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. (Colossians :12-14 NIV).

As we continue in the series of making our families like God’s family we will look at the ninth principle today: As soon as you realize you’ve made a mistake, admit it and ask for forgiveness. This is especially true when parents are dealing with teenagers. Here’s the principle: The tighter the grip, the more the struggle. One of the ways of relaxing your “grip” is to be able to admit to mistakes and ask for forgiveness. It will amaze you how much more you will be respected and honored. There are three principles that support this truth:

Parents aren’t perfect. In the daily struggles and challenges of parenting, it’s easy to recognize the ways we feel our children have wronged us. A bowl of popcorn dumped out on a freshly vacuumed carpet or a meltdown in the checkout aisle of the market can cause us to focus our energies on the many ways our children aren’t perfect. Yet I find that when I acknowledge my own shortcomings to my children, it reminds me of my imperfections which inspires a spirit of mercy and forgiveness when their imperfections on are on display. It also allows my children to grow up with a healthy perception of me. Everyone makes mistakes – even Dad.

Forgiveness restores relationships. All of us have parenting moments of which we are not proud. We need only access hurtful moments from our own childhoods for a vivid reminder of the power of a parent’s words and actions. But when we operate under the truth that we aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes, we are encouraged to act quickly to make amends with the child we have hurt – both confessing our wrong and seeking forgiveness. In most every relationship, the act of asking for forgiveness for a wrong can go a long way towards healing a wounded spirit.

“Doing” teaches best about the power of forgiveness. I am absolutely certain that the best way to teach a forgiving spirit is to model it. The older we get, the more difficult it can be to acknowledge when we have wronged someone, and our own stubborn pride threatens to preclude us from experiencing the very healthy process of restoring a strained relationship. Humbling myself to ask for my children’s forgiveness often involves a very intentional act of choosing what I know is right over what I feel is right.

"A Family Like God's" (Part 13)

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV).

Today is a special day in our family. It is Kyle’s 36th birthday! So, first, Happy Birthday Kyle! However, I wanted to continue in the series of making our families like God’s family. Coincidentally (if there really are coincidences in following the path the Lord has given us) we will look at the eighth principle of in developing a family like God’s: Never go to bed mad. In our reading today, the apostle Paul wrote, In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

I can honestly say that there was only one time in the last thirty-six years that I had an occasion to be so mad that it would be tempting to let that anger simmer and smolder overnight. Even then, I had the presence of mind to simply say, “We’ll talk about this tomorrow when I’m not so angry that I’ll say something I’d regret.” I suppose the key to that is in the realization that my anger has never served me well. Through the years I have learned how to step back in those moments more and more. However, in the early days of parenting, I am afraid that I was not so self-controlled.

Without spending our time reliving the specifics of the experiences that taught me this principle, let me simply state again that NOTHING good comes from discipline or discussion while we are not in control of our anger. So, let me make a couple of suggestions for those of you who are having some challenges in this area with your spouse or children:

 First, think. Think about the object of your anger. Honestly, are you really angry with your spouse or your child; or, are you angry at what has happened. Separating events from peoples always makes it easier for me to communicate on a different level with those around me.

 Second, recognize the incredible gift that you family represents. All of us have those special things that we would do anything to protect and keep safe. I still have the sweatshirt that I wore when I was a freshman at A&M with my squadron emblem on it! Forty three years is a long time to keep a sweatshirt! But, it is special because of the memories it brings. It holds incredible value for me. Yet, does it even minutely compare to the value of my family? You get the idea.

Like a campfire left untended, anger that smolders overnight can turn into a vast and destructive fire! Even if you do no more than agree to settle your differences at a later time, don’t let anger simmer in your home. Happy Birthday Kyle! Can’t wait to see you later tonight… Aunt Ruby’s coconut cake ala Brandy and lots of fun!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 12)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we will look at the seventh principle of in developing a family like God’s: Never allow the other to come home without a warm welcome. Home ought to be a place of peace and security. You can communicate this with a warm welcome when your spouse or your children arrive. Don’t be too disappointed if it is seemingly ignored or taken for granted. Most good things are in our busy lives. But, they make a huge difference in the crises of life. Can you imagine what the Prodigal would have done if he didn’t feel he could have gone home? The story may have had a much different ending.

It’s so easy to take for granted that we will have “another day.” We often get into a habitual pattern of believing that we will have more time to do all the things that we know we should do. I doubt there’s anyone who would argue the opposite view of this seventh principle. Yet, it is one of the most neglected relational skills we have. It’s one of the reasons that our children feel more comfortable at school or with their friends. It’s the basis for the development of every estrangement that exists in families today. When you feel more “at home” with someone else, it becomes easy to go with them instead of your family.

It all begins with creating a sense of safety and security at home. What better way to do that than making a commitment to warmly welcome each other when you get home for the day? Because of my travel schedule this past year I have been able to see David and Becca pretty often; and, of course, I see Kyle, Brandy, Faith and Logan, each week. However, it has been quite sometime since I’ve been able to see Aaron. He has been busy with school and we just haven’t made it down to Baton Rouge. Just the other day he told me he was planning on coming “home” the first part of August! What a thrill it will be to see him for an extended period of time! And, what a joy to know that he wants to come “home.” I know his home is now in Baton Rouge, but as with all of my children, my desire is to make sure they know their anchor point is where Mary and I live, as long as we live. That began many years ago.

For some of you, you must begin now. Time has slipped away. However, it is not too late to make your house a “home.” Start with that daily warm welcome!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 11)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we will look at the sixth principle of in developing a family like God’s: Never let a day end without saying a good word to each other. What a difference a simple word of encouragement makes in the lives of those closest to us! There are so many different ways to accomplish this. It may be something as simple as “I love you,” or as complex as a “teachable moment.” Whatever the circumstances, don’t let a day go by without speaking a positive, affirmative word to your family.

I love the way the wise father in Jesus’ parable responds to his wayward son. After the son say he is no longer worthy to be called his son, the father calls his servants and says, Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. What a blessing to give to his son. Not only did he accept his confession, but returns him to full status as a son with a great celebration! Every good word we give to our spouse and children are worthy of such extravagance.

There are five areas that you may use as reminders for speaking positive words into the lives of your family: Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation, Approval and Attention. It looks like a daunting task, but it really is a simple thing to accomplish each. Let me make a few suggestions:

 Acceptance is achieved when you help your family members understand how grateful you are that they are a part of the family. For example, you might say something like, “I am so glad that you are my grandson!”
 Affection is perhaps the easiest to express. It is done through words of endearment and love. I like the way my granddaughter has learned that she can always run straight at me to jump in my arms and know that I will catch her up in a big hug and kiss and say to her, “I love you.”
 Appreciation is the act of expressing your gratitude for both who they are and what they do. It is so easy to take for granted all the little things that we do for one another in our families.
 Approval is the act of finding those things that we can emphasize from the day that are good things that they have accomplished.
 Attention nearly speaks for itself. It is the act of concentrating on what is being said to you from your family members. As simple as that sounds, it is one of the most important things to do. We all need to know we have been heard.

Make a commitment to speak a good word to your family members everyday!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 10)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we will look at the fifth principle of in developing a family like God’s: Neglect the whole world rather than each other. There are so many things that pull at our time and energy. We should be very careful to guard our relationships so that nothing may drive us apart.

Today's parents talk quite a bit about spending quality time with their children. Some parents believe that if they've spent an hour of "quality" time with their children, they've done enough. This hour is usually focused on an enjoyable activity: watching television, going out to eat, or going to the movies; of which all are good things, but not the BEST thing. I know that today's world turns at a frenetic pace and parents are often overwhelmed by all they have to do, however you cannot minimize the importance of spending both quality and what I call quantity time with your kids.

I have heard it said that time is the most precious thing you own. Because our lives are so full of hurry, worry and activity, we often stress the importance of spending "quality time" with our children. Much of the time this is rooted in the fact that we feel guilty of knowing that we often push our kids to the bottom of the list. Yes, we assure them, I’ll spend some time with you, but only after I finish this and that. Spending time with our kids becomes another item on our list, as if they were a "thing to do." Unfortunately our children feel and understand that.

My oldest son said it so well once when he and I were watching David play a baseball game. He looked at me and said, “Thanks for coming to the game to watch David, Dad. You know, we always play better when we know you’re watching.” I never forgot that conversation. While many may have misunderstood my priorities, my prayer was that they would be very clear to my family. Make sure that your family sees you place them ahead of everything else in life. No wonder that the wise father in our parable said, Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. He truly understood the value of his son to him.

"A Family Like God's" (Part 9)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we will look at the fourth principle of in developing a family like God’s: Never bring up a mistake of the past. It goes without saying that the past ought to remain in the past. The only issue that ought to be dealt with is the one before you. Past failures should never be used as a weapon in any discussion. That’s not God’s way, and it shouldn’t be our way!

When I have dealt with parents and couples in the families and marriages about this issue I have used the term “reruns.” We’re all familiar with television reruns or instant replays in sports, however when we see them in the family they are always a source of a deeper problem. Bringing up things from the past or throwing past mistakes in each others' faces is not good for any relationship. It is important to forgive and leave the past where it belongs. When we take every opportunity to remind our spouses or children of past problems or mistakes, it makes it clear that we really haven't forgiven or moved on. We must learn to let go put it behind us. Maybe the issue was never fully resolved and needs to be discussed calmly and settled once and for all, however this should not be attempted during a disagreement or heated exchange, but at another purposefully scheduled time.

That’s the example that Jesus uses in the parable of this wise father. I am sure that there could have been plenty of “I told you so’s” when the son came home, however the father exercised a wisdom that all of us would do well to emulate. He recognized the greater need for forgiveness and acceptance. Just as God forgives and forgets our past so we should deal with our family in the same manner. There are three principles in the development of this kind of practice in your family. First, treat it as a promise that you make to the individual who has offended you and now has repented, in which you are saying to him or her, I will not let my attitude toward you be governed any longer by this offense. It has been put aside. My treatment of you from here on will be as though this has never happened. Second, treat it as a promise not to pass it on to anybody else. When a matter is forgiven, it is to be forgotten. Now it may be that everyone knows about the matter, but what it means is that nobody brings up the issue again or holds it over a forgiven person's head or reminds him or her of it every time any further difficulty occurs. It is a promise to drop the matter, leave it in the past, and never bring it up to anybody again. Third, and probably most important, it is a promise to yourself that when your memory goes back to it, as it will occasionally, you are not going to allow it to seize hold of your heart and make you angry all over again. The minute it comes back to mind, you put it aside as something that belongs to the past. You are not going to dwell on it. It is a promise, therefore, to repeat your act of forgiveness, no matter how often the memory comes up. That is what forgiveness is like in a family like God’s!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 8)

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6 NIV).

I hope you had a chance to digest yesterday’s principle of “never yelling at one another unless the house is on fire.” Today is an extension of the use of our communication with one another. The third principle is: If you must criticize, do so lovingly.

While this principle falls naturally from the previous one, it is just as essential for us to understand and practice. Many years ago I learned this principle the hard way with my son, David. One day he came home with two of his friends and had purchased a pair of Oakley sunglasses. They were the rage in those days. And, they were quite expensive. He had earned some money in a part-time job and took his first hundred dollars and gone to purchase these sunglasses. They were very sporting, however since they did not have prescription lenses I didn’t see the need to have purchased them. He came in to show them to me and my reaction was more about the “uselessness” of the purchase than the act itself. True, it may not have been the wisest use of his funds; however the purchase was not really about the sunglasses at all. Thankfully I realized my mistake only moments after having spoken the words. His feelings were hurt and he was embarrassed in front of his friends. No wonder he stormed off to his room with his buddies in tow. There was only one thing for me to do. I needed to immediately offer an apology. I went to his room, knocked on the door and went in after he invited me to enter. In front of his friends, I apologized for my words and actions. The difference was immediate and extravagant. That small act of contrition went a long way to establishing a relationship that allowed me to offer insight and advice that exists to this day.

Let me make a few suggestions in offering positive, constructive, and graceful criticism. First, remember your children have feelings. Children, particularly when they are small, are completely in our control. It is easy to forget that they are little people. They have feelings that can be hurt and self-esteem that can be crushed if we criticize them in a non-constructive belittling way. We must try to relate to them as we would like others to relate to us. Second, make your message clear. The goal of proper criticism is to get your message across to your child. That means you have to have a message. If you don’t have an idea you are trying to convey, then all you are doing by criticizing your child is venting your own anger and frustration. You will do nothing positive for your child, and your child will not change his behavior in the future. Remember, your goal with criticism is to educate, not to punish or embarrass or to seek revenge against the child. When you criticize you must have something you are trying to teach. Third, deliver your message properly. Criticize the behavior, not the child. Never use labels. Children get their sense of whom they are from what others tell them. When a parent gives a child a label, this label will eventually stick, with disastrous consequences. Criticize privately. And, don’t bring up the past. Deal with the present behavior. And, last, deliver the criticism with love. Love is vital. Criticism is a gift. It is a gift of knowledge, it is a gift of values. Sometimes it is an unwanted gift. Still, it is a gift nevertheless. Our goal when is to do it with grace and restoration in mind. If you are angry, all they will hear is the anger. What the child will hear is “You don’t like me.” You cannot let the message get blurred out by the static of your emotions.

"A Family Like God's" (Part 7)

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6 NIV).

Today we continue with some of the practical principles of restoring grace and forgiveness to our families. You may recall that yesterday I wrote the first principle was never both be angry at once. Today we look at the second principle: Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Isn’t it strange how easy it is to raise our voices when situations become emotionally charged? The truth is that our voices are either a wonderful tool of love and grace, or they are a weapon of unmatched destruction.

I know that some of you are already thinking that raising your voice is the only way to get their attention. However, it simply does not work positively in the lives of our children. It teaches the wrong lessons. Think of it for a moment. Yelling at kids teaches them that people do not mean what they say until they yell. Yelling at them teaches them to yell back. Yelling at them teaches kid to yell at others. It teaches them to ignore respectful and dignified requests when people speak to them in other tones of voice. It teaches them that they are not worthy of speaking to in civil tones. Yelling at them teaches them that this is a reasonable and appropriate way to relieve stress is to yell at others. The point here is that yelling at our children in any situation other than an emergency teaches them lots of stuff but it rarely, if ever, teaches them anything of much value. I do not think that yelling indelibly scars kids unduly nor does them irreparable psychological damage; but it certainly does not help them to learn productive ways of interacting with others. It just does not work in any way that conveys grace, love, or acceptance. By the way, can you imagine God yelling at you for any other reason except to warn you from an immediate danger?

I have found that there are other signals that we can give to our children that work much better. For example, when a request or directive is ignored, begin with a question. Remember, tone of voice, volume, body language all need to convey a seeking of information, not anger or combativeness. Let’s say that you have asked your child to help clear the dinner dishes, but they have left them to go into the family room to play. Rather than standing in the kitchen and yelling, go to where your kids are and say respectfully, "I need your help. Would you please get up now and come in and clear the dishes? Look at me kids. I am smiling and I am speaking in a polite tone of voice. I even said ‘please', but I really mean it." If they do not immediately start to move to clear the table, move squarely in front of them and ask politely in a calm tone, "Excuse me, but what did I just ask you to do?" You may have to point out to them that you just asked a question that you wish to have answered because they are now in their Ignore-Mom-or-Dad-mode. Stay right in front of them and wait for their answer. As soon as they can repeat what you have said, say, "Ok, so you know what you are to do and I am going to wait right here until you start, so please get started right now." All of this is said in a respectful and pleasant tone of voice at a conversational volume. Be patient. It may even take weeks for this new graceful approach to begin to take hold because the kids may have literally had years of habitually ignoring your conversational statements and years of hearing you yell at them. It will take time to "learn the new language" that you are speaking! It does work! And, it is full of grace!

"A Family Like God's" (Part 6)

“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:20-23 NIV).

Today we begin the real meat of restoring grace and forgiveness to our families. In the June 22nd Morning Devotional, “Guarding the Low Places,” which can be found at www.gracerestoration.org/site/?p=377, I listed briefly ten principles for positive parenting. In the next few days I want to look closely at each of them. The first is: Never both be angry at once.

Perhaps the most essential element in our failure to extend grace in our relationships is that of anger. When we are angry, we simply cannot think clearly. Before you react, realize your feelings will affect your thoughts and words. I remember a time when such a moment was vividly painted in my experience. My oldest son, Kyle, found himself in a situation that required I come and pick him up from the custody of the local police! It was in the fall of the year, and he and some of his friends had decided to play a prank in a local neighborhood. They gathered as many trash bags of leaves left for pick-up on the curbs of the neighborhoods and placed them diagonally across an intersection, blocking traffic from going through any of the streets. It really was ingenious as they placed them in just the right spot to block the intersection. However, it was also dangerous and illegal. Arriving on the scene at 2:00 AM on a Sunday morning, I spoke with the police, and took custody of my son. As he got in the car I knew he wanted to talk about the incident. After all, he had broken one of the cardinal rules of the house: he was not where he said he would be and didn’t call to inform me he was leaving that place. Before he could say anything, I said, “We will talk about this later. Right now, I am too angry to not say something we would regret later. I am happy you are safe. When we get home, go to bed and get some rest.” I have been so thankful through the years that in that moment I could step back from my anger and just think. That experience has been a great step in the growth of our relationship through the years.

Today we actually chuckle at the memory of that night; however, I can assure you that it was not a humorous moment then! My first response when received the call was fear that something bad had happened and I was being informed to come and identify my son’s body! Then when I found out he was safe, but had broken the law in a dangerous prank, I was just plain angry. I don’t know about you, but I never think clearly when I am angry. Lot’s of bad things could have been set in motion that night had I reacted out of anger. I am grateful that time God’s grace prevailed. The first principle is never both be angry at the same time. Commit yourself to it and begin to practice it in your family.