"A Happy Marriage" (Part 4)

As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33 NLT).

The Apostle Paul says: So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Love and respect are the keys to A Happy Marriage! Let me give you ten suggestions that will help you put this principle into effect.

1. First, practice forgiveness. In fact, you should make it your goal to be the first to forgive in any situation, even if you are the one offended. Failing to forgive produces bitterness and resentment.
2. Second, learn how to say “I’m sorry” quickly and genuinely. Molehills are a lot easier to deal with than mountains. The longer you delay in dealing with an offense the bigger it becomes.
3. Third, keep your eyes on your spouse alone. Sounds a lot easier than it really is in practice. We are deluged with lustful images on a daily basis. Make it your practice to never let your eyes wander from your spouse.
4. Fourth, don’t talk to others about your spouse’s faults. If you have issues with your spouse, then talk to them, not to others.
5. Fifth, put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own. Sacrifice ought to be normal in your relationship with one another. The more you give, the more you will get.
6. Sixth, never threaten your relationship. Not even with humor! It is devastating to a relationship to live under even the slightest hint of threat. Express your commitment often and fully.
7. Seventh, give your spouse at least one compliment every day. A good old atta-boy goes a long way to build encouragement and love. Your spouse should never need to ask for a compliment. Give it freely.
8. Eighth, do all the important things together. And, if you have any doubt whether it is an “important thing,” ask.
9. Ninth, worship together. If I have any regrets through thirty years of being a pastor, it is that I was not ever really able to sit with my wife and children in worship. Having that privilege now is an incredible blessing!
10. Tenth, say “I love you” at least once a day. Be creative in your expressions. Don’t let that phrase become a rote exercise of meaningless words. And, don’t think that the many things you do are the same as saying the words!

There’s a lot more we could look at. And, I know that every situation has a unique set of challenges that bring with them unique solutions. These are some general observations that have worked in many marriages. I hope they will work for you.

Of course, all of it is predicated on your experience with Christ. If you are not a born again believer, you must start there. If you have any doubts about your relationship with Christ, please email or call me. Settle that first!