"A Happy Marriage" (Part 1)

Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” (Matthew 19:3-6 NLT).

OK, let’s get serious for a few moments. First the disclaimer: I know that there are times in people’s lives when divorce happens and it is best, and perhaps only choice left; but, God’s design is that two people find themselves joined together for life. So, I want to look at how we can do all we can to insure that God’s best design is achieved. For those of you, who have already suffered the devastating effects of divorce, please know of my heart’s desire to minister to you without judgment or condemnation. God has a plan for you. I’d love to help you in your search to find it!

That being said, let’s look at some specifics. The statistics are incredible. Both inside and outside the circle of church membership, the divorce rate is about 50% of first time marriages ending in divorce! The question must be asked… why? Did you notice the phrase in our reading today: for just any reason? In Jesus’ day it was very common for men to “put their wives out” for any reason. Maybe they simply didn’t do the housework to their satisfaction. That could be grounds for divorce. Now, before you begin to snicker, haven’t we done about the same thing today with our “no fault” divorce, or as the law might describe the reason as “incompatibility”?

Jesus goes back to the beginning with Adam and Eve. We should too. Remember that when God created Adam, he was given the opportunity to look at and name every animal that God had created (Genesis 2:18-20). Yet, there wasn’t one other created thing that satisfied Adam’s need to be complete. God then created woman from Adam and immediately he knew it was perfect. Adam exclaimed, “At last! This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!” The concept of “one flesh” is used in other places in the Scripture. The concept is very clear. It means that one is not complete without the other. It is as if you try to slice a coin so thin as to have only a heads or a tails. It is impossible. That’s the case with a marriage. The two become inseparable. They are so because one cannot effectively exist without the other.

About at this point, some of you are saying, “You don’t know my ex. I’m doing a lot better without them.” Perhaps so, but it still doesn’t change the fact that God created us to be joined with that perfect match forever. The real key is in understanding what makes it “perfect.” In the next few days, we’ll look at that. Today, let me merely state that God’s desire in marriage is for the husband and wife to be one with the other. That takes grace, commitment, hard work, and a true understanding of what love is and isn’t. Ask God to give you wisdom as we explore this key element of our spiritual lives. If we don’t get the family right, nothing else will be right!