Specks and Timbers

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.’” (Matthew 7:1-5 ESV). Old classic cars are something of a fascination to me. Not long ago I was looking through a catalogue and saw a picture of a Model-T Ford with a crank starter that has been restored to original. It was a beautiful piece of machinery, especially for the day in which it was built. The closer I looked at subsequent photos I also noticed a plaque on the wall near it. The words with it announced, “Fewer wives would be nags if more husbands were self-starters.” I was a bit amused and then I began to think of the deeper implications. I suppose I have heard more complaining in marriage counseling of the “nagging” spouse than any other. Some go so far as to use the word “nitpicking.” A definition of that word is quite revealing. Nitpicking is the act of removing head lice from someone’s hair. In family relationships it means trivial, unnecessary faultfinding and nagging. A marriage expert writes, “Nagging is more common than adultery, and potentially as toxic.” Love songs celebrate being “familiar with all your ways, your ins, your outs, your ups and downs”—and still loving the person despite them. When you’ve been married for many years it’s easy to find fault with familiar qualities and habits, some of which you actually found endearing early on. C. S. Lewis observes that the devil is perfectly happy to capture someone for his kingdom by any means possible. No need for murder if resentment at the everyday nitpicking of one’s partner will do the trick. Yet finding fault is common in marriages, including long-term Christian marriages. Jesus spoke to that in the teaching of our reading today. Looking for a “speck” in another’s eye while having a timber in your own eye is the illustration he uses. It is very funny. To imagine trying to take a small speck out of someone’s eye with a beam in your own is quite the image. Yet, that’s often how we judge others. Jesus simply says, “Judge not.” I find it is important to remember that is above our pay grade! So, if you find yourself as the “picker” it will help to ask yourself, “How important is this matter I keep bringing up?” If you’re the “pickee” it will help to ask yourself, “If it’s important to my mate, why not just do it?” Begin the day committed to practicing the scripture verse, “Be tenderhearted to one another, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.” As husbands and wives or parents and children, the same verse will serve us well at midday, and for life’s evening too.

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 6

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! (Psalm 90:12-17 ESV). Recently I received notice from some of my high school classmates about our reunion next year. It is hard to believe that fifty years have passed since that unique milestone. There were ninety-six in our graduating class, certainly not a large class by today’s standards. However, I must confess that just as I didn’t really “know” all of my class members then, I haven’t kept up very well today either. Some of the folks I have reconnected with through various means, but not all. I am looking forward to going. It will be fun reconnecting with old friends and classmates. I can only wonder how the days between have treated us. The psalmist mentions a similar thought in our reading today. He says we ought to “number our days.” This is merely a way of asking God to give us a vision of the whole of life as God sees it and then to live wisely in light of this knowledge. It is wisdom to live each day with the joy and comfort of knowing that your great desire is to please God. I’m sure that there will be many stories told at the reunion recalling some of the things we all did, or didn’t do. And there will be many other stories told of what we’ve done since then. Some will be stories of success and accomplishment; others may be stories of disappointment and tragedy. All of those stories will look back. I’m convinced that while looking back is instructive to a degree, looking forward serves us much better. There are still good works the Lord wants to produce in us regardless of our situation and circumstance. We should focus on God’s favor and grace. It far outweighs the days of sadness and regret we all experience. The Lord wants us to have a glad heart and a smile etched into our hearts. While others may waste their time pursuing fantasies of wealth and power, my goal is to spend my remaining years centered on living a life that pleases God and points others to him. We started this little series thinking about “peaches.” The one incredible thought for me is that no matter how you prepare a peach, if it is picked at the peak of its growth, it will bring delight. God won’t “pick” you until you are fully ripe. That is a promise. Number your days until then. Use them to be blessed and bless others in the name of our great God.

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 5

So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the LORD. Now Nineveh was an exceedingly great city, three days' journey in breadth. Jonah began to go into the city, going a day's journey. And he called out, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” And the people of Nineveh believed God. They called for a fast and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them to the least of them. The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it. (Jonah 3:3-6, 10 ESV). Happy Birthday, Mary! I must confess that I am envious that she is looking younger and younger while I seem to be getting older and older! However, this birthday gives me an opportunity to inject a marvelous thought to our series on aging. She certainly is “peachy”! I remember reading somewhere about a woman who was celebrating her 100th birthday. Her church had scheduled a party for her. She was a never-married lady who had a great sense of humor. One of the elders, who also happened to be a funeral director, was the master of ceremonies. Helen was up to her humorous best. As the elder interviewed her, she explained very clearly her “last wishes.” She announced, “I want no men pallbearers for my funeral. They wouldn’t take me out while I’m alive. They’re not taking me out when I’m dead!” Now that’s a great outlook on life. Humor is essential as we get a bit older. After all, none of us are going to make it out this alive! There’s lots of humor in the Bible. We sometimes miss it because it comes out of cultures different from ours. A biblical favorite is irony, seeing things together we don’t expect. Our reading is like that; here we see the disobedient, runaway Jonah bringing the whole city of Nineveh to its knees. We would expect such success for Jeremiah, not Jonah! Humor is faith’s helper, open to surprises, believing God can do whatever he pleases. The secularist looks at the troubled world and says, “It’s serious, but not hopeless.” The Christian, believing in a miracle-working God, looks out at the same troubled world and says, “It’s hopeless, but it’s not serious.” Because God can save when humans can do nothing, this life of trouble and trial is “no step for a stepper.” And, no matter your age, when you are in Christ, you are a stepper! Faith urges, “Trust God.” Humor adds, “No need to take yourself so seriously. God’s got everything under control.” So, while I’m doing birthday well wishes to my lovely wife and lamenting that she is much younger and healthier than I am, I must remember that I am a stepper. Well, maybe just a shuffler with my stiff joints; though you get the point. Celebrate this day, birthday or not. It is day the Lord has given to you. By the way, cake is served at the house all day. Come on by. We’ll celebrate together. Happy Birthday, Mary!

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 4

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible. By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks. By faith Enoch was taken up so that he should not see death, and he was not found, because God had taken him. Now before he was taken he was commended as having pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (Hebrews 11:1-6 ESV). Negative stereotypes portray older people as unproductive, “out of it,” stubborn, senile, and often merely hidden away in nursing homes. The truth is there are very few that really fit these descriptions. Most of the AARP generation are relatively healthy and engaged with life. Both Mary and I will have birthdays this summer. Hers is in just a few days and mine is in August. I will be 67 this birthday. I was told not long ago by my brother, who is just four years my junior, that was “really old.” And, I must admit that I really didn’t expect to make it to this age. However, I’m doing pretty well. It’s not nearly as bad as I might have imagined when I was in my forties! In fact, as with more recent, fashionable stereotypes that show older people as exuding health, being engaged, productive, and self-reliant, I find this time in my life as much fun as not. There is a danger to both extremes of the view of older people being either “really old” or active and engaged without any handicaps. Carole Stoneking said, “In place of [faith] and divine grace, scientific knowledge and professional expertise are now offered as the path to salvation.” Real life is exemplified by the old man sky diving or the old woman jet skiing. Well, there are some who fit this picture. Though there are more that don’t than do. Neither overly positive nor excessively negative stereotypes of aging are helpful. We should lose both the phony pessimism and the phony optimism of these extremes. Getting older is neither of these for most of us. God does offer us an important clarity and strength for aging well. It is found in a consistent, confident faith in his provision and provenance. It’s the same hope that sustained the heroes of faith pictured in our reading today and the full listing found further in Hebrews 11. Let me suggest some options. You can see aging as a problem that only medicine and technology can cure. You can try to follow the advice of every “expert” on TV or the internet. Or you can see aging as a God-given experience to be lived gracefully, as a “pilgrim of hope.” I think the latter is much more fun! It’s a “peachy” way to live life!

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 3

O God, be not far from me; O my God, make haste to help me! May my accusers be put to shame and consumed; with scorn and disgrace may they be covered who seek my hurt. But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Your righteousness, O God, reaches the high heavens. You who have done great things, O God, who is like you? (Psalm 71:12-19 ESV). In a culture glorifying youth, sports, fitness, and technology it’s easy to feel that as we age, we have nothing significant to give. That’s simply wrong-headed thinking. There are gifts only age and faith bestow. This is part of becoming more “peach-like” in our aging. Paul saw faith handed down from grandmother to mother to her son, Timothy (cf. 2 Timothy 1:4-6). You can be part of that kind of intergenerational chain. In the later stages of life you can give to younger folks the faith-gifts of contentment, moderation, and perspective. Many young people will welcome such gifts. One reason children are naturally drawn to grandparents is they sense a calm and simplicity that is missing in the necessarily hectic lives of their parents. It’s common for us who are older to regret we were too much in a rush when our children were growing up. We were busy pursuing our careers, earning a living, and providing for our families. But as we age, we have a bit more time. This is a time to teach and model moderation. Children and youth are living in a culture today that can only be described as extreme. Entertainment is extreme; sports, diets, technology, movies all go to the extreme. As you are afforded contact with these young people, their experience of less can be satisfying in ways that more never can. Contentment and moderation together lend a faith perspective on what’s worthwhile. Just the other day I did some work on an antler mount that I had given to Logan. I had mounted the antlers and put the cartridge underneath the horns on the plaque. For some reason it had dislodged and was no longer there. He still had it hanging in his room. I decided to replace it with another that I had from last deer season. He came home that day and I pointed out to him that I had replaced it for him. His excitement was very unexpected. He said, “Wow! Now I can use it again!” it was the perfect opportunity to talk with him about how important it was for him to have kept the plaque, even though it was “broken.” And, I got a chance to remind him that it is always OK to ask for help to fix things that we can’t. It was a perspective that I could give to him from my experience of growing older and learning to use what we are given to the fullest. Aging well means we continue to teach, especially those closest to us.

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 2

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. (Psalm 1:1-4 ESV). I guess I could’ve titled these devotionals “How to Grow Old Gracefully”; however, that just didn’t seem nearly as catchy as Peaches and Prunes. The truth is we need to be intentional about living our lives. I often wonder if I am fully engaged each day with the foundational thought that God has given me a great gift with waking up that day. Sometimes I think it is altogether too easy for me to merely mark time until the next high point. If you’ve known me for very long you also know the fall is my favorite time of the year. Most of the things I enjoy doing happen at that time of the year. If I’m not intentional about the rest of the year I start a countdown and merely wait until the times I enjoy best. That won’t reap the full benefit of the gift of another day that God has given us. It’s been said there are three stages in life: youth, middle age, and “My, you’re looking good!” (“for as old as you are,” is what they mean). I love the way folks greet Mary and I in chance meetings around town. They usually look at me and sort of recognize me. But then, as soon as they see Mary they say, “Oh, Don and Mary. It’s good to see you.” Then they look at Mary and say, “You haven’t changed at all.” Really? Getting older can be a challenge. You meet a neighbor at the library. “How is your wife doing?” you ask. “Oh, she’s recovered pretty well from surgery. Most of her aches and pains now are a matter of aging.” At the supermarket you run into an elderly friend. You ask, “How is it going?” He mumbles, “It’s just prescription after prescription,” as he shuffles off to the door. You go to the bank ATM, take the cash and receipt and head out the door. You hear a beep, beep, beep. You turn around. The screen asks if you need more time. “No,” you punch in, and your card pops out into your hand. Oops! More forgetfulness. The bald spot on the back of your head is spreading. You look like you’re adding another chin. We’re aging. Or, in less polite terms, we’re getting old. But be of good cheer. You who are planted by “streams of living water” are still bearing fruit in this season of life. You’re not a reed moved unduly by winds of change. You’re not a complaining creeper, trailing along the ground. As a divinely planted tree you are under the care and cultivation of the Lord. Even old-age pruning, though it involves some pain, is for your good. You’re still upright and growing toward heaven itself; use this day intentionally for good things.

Peaches and Prunes - Pt 1

Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:12-18 ESV). Parker County, Texas, is known for their peaches. In fact, every year along about the first of July there is a wonderful festival held in the county seat of Weatherford, which is not far from where we live now. We have been to that event on many occasions in the past and likely will attend the weekend event again this year. In addition to the entertainment, there are craftsmen of all genres, and of course peach delights of every kind. Peaches are just wonderful. Of all the fruit available, peaches may be at the top of my list. Put them in cobblers, ice cream, pies, jams and jellies, or any one of a hundred other recipes and I like them. There is another fruit that comes to mind as I think about the topic introduced in our reading today, prunes. Don’t chuckle too much. Stay with the thought. As we age we’re like fruit. Think prunes and peaches. Columnist Sidney Harris suggested, “We should become more peach-like on the inside as we become more prune-like on the outside.” Harvey Pothoff observed, “From the day we are born . . . we are aging. Today we are older than we were yesterday and we are younger than we are going to be tomorrow. To live well is to age well.” As true as that is, the question inevitably remains, “What shall we do about aging?” And, while doctors, psychologists, and sociologists offer their answers; I suppose most importantly we should determine how to age in a way that is pleasing to God, helpful to others, and satisfying to us. In the coming days we’ll explore some answers. We’ll look to Scripture as well as learning from the social sciences and living examples of those aging well around us. Remember, we’re on the winning team. As humans we bear the image of God; as believers we are growing in likeness to Jesus Christ and being renewed daily by the Holy Spirit. We’re ripe with potential for growing in wisdom, faith, hope, and love as we age. We live with a paradox. We want to patiently age well here. At the same time the Spirit of God “whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead” (2 Corinthians 5:3-4 The Message). Remember prunes and peaches. It is your choice. Love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness, are “fruits of the Spirit.” They grow in your inner garden. Feed them daily by prayer and acts of kindness to become more “peach-like” no matter what your age. You will not be disappointed in the return.