Specks and Timbers

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.’” (Matthew 7:1-5 ESV). Old classic cars are something of a fascination to me. Not long ago I was looking through a catalogue and saw a picture of a Model-T Ford with a crank starter that has been restored to original. It was a beautiful piece of machinery, especially for the day in which it was built. The closer I looked at subsequent photos I also noticed a plaque on the wall near it. The words with it announced, “Fewer wives would be nags if more husbands were self-starters.” I was a bit amused and then I began to think of the deeper implications. I suppose I have heard more complaining in marriage counseling of the “nagging” spouse than any other. Some go so far as to use the word “nitpicking.” A definition of that word is quite revealing. Nitpicking is the act of removing head lice from someone’s hair. In family relationships it means trivial, unnecessary faultfinding and nagging. A marriage expert writes, “Nagging is more common than adultery, and potentially as toxic.” Love songs celebrate being “familiar with all your ways, your ins, your outs, your ups and downs”—and still loving the person despite them. When you’ve been married for many years it’s easy to find fault with familiar qualities and habits, some of which you actually found endearing early on. C. S. Lewis observes that the devil is perfectly happy to capture someone for his kingdom by any means possible. No need for murder if resentment at the everyday nitpicking of one’s partner will do the trick. Yet finding fault is common in marriages, including long-term Christian marriages. Jesus spoke to that in the teaching of our reading today. Looking for a “speck” in another’s eye while having a timber in your own eye is the illustration he uses. It is very funny. To imagine trying to take a small speck out of someone’s eye with a beam in your own is quite the image. Yet, that’s often how we judge others. Jesus simply says, “Judge not.” I find it is important to remember that is above our pay grade! So, if you find yourself as the “picker” it will help to ask yourself, “How important is this matter I keep bringing up?” If you’re the “pickee” it will help to ask yourself, “If it’s important to my mate, why not just do it?” Begin the day committed to practicing the scripture verse, “Be tenderhearted to one another, forgiving one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.” As husbands and wives or parents and children, the same verse will serve us well at midday, and for life’s evening too.