Speak No Evil

A false balance is an abomination to the LORD, but a just weight is his delight. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them. Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death. The righteousness of the blameless keeps his way straight, but the wicked falls by his own wickedness. The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the treacherous are taken captive by their lust. When the wicked dies, his hope will perish, and the expectation of wealth perishes too. The righteous is delivered from trouble, and the wicked walks into it instead. With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered. When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices, and when the wicked perish there are shouts of gladness. By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is overthrown. Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. (Proverbs 11:1-12 ESV). All of us have had those experiences in life when we said something before we thought it through. Often the unfiltered responses cause much more difficulty for us than if we had simply remained silent. Not long ago I saw an antique sign with some of the same wisdom as our reading today. It said: Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my lips. Our advice as seniors may be so wise and time-tested that we could write an advice column in the newspaper. But it’s best to keep it to ourselves if we wish to be welcome in our adult children’s homes. Fact is, we’ve had our opportunity to try out our wisdom on our children. They deserve their own opportunity in rearing their children. The best of our wisdom will, from time to time, emerge in any case. The only advice-givers anyone appreciates are the professionals, where simply closing the book or clicking the link shuts them off. The book of Proverbs advises, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (cf. Proverbs 10:19). That’s never truer than when applied to advising our adult children. How many broken family relationships could have been prevented if everyone had controlled their tongues? “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (cf. Proverbs 21:23). Once words have been uttered, damage is done. The time we have spent in Kyle and Brandy’s home while ours is being finished has been wonderful as it has renewed my focus on teaching the grandkids only what will not contradict their parents. The last thing anyone is the house needs is four parents! In private prayer we are welcome to voice all our family concerns to our common heavenly Father if there is a difference of approach. He’ll change who needs changing and keep our relationship solid. May He keep his arms around all of us and His hand over our mouths more!