Christian Homes (pt. 1)

 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV).

 

Today I am beginning one of the most important and yet misunderstood readings in Ephesians. For the next few days we’ll look at Paul’s instructions to the members of a Christian home. He has some specific things to say to husbands, wives, and their children. All of it can be summarized with the word “submission.” That word is the one that gives all of us pause. Our sin nature simply does not do well with anyone who may be in a position to lead us.

 

Not long ago I read a light-hearted report of a poll taken of 100 families in the northeast. In 90 of the homes, the wife described herself as the head of the family, and the husband in each case agreed. In 9 of the remaining families the husbands said he was the head of the family, but the wife disagreed. In fact, there was only one of the one hundred families where the wife named the husband as the head of the family. When told that they had won an award for the admission and were asked to select their prize, the husband turned to his wife and asked, “What shall I choose, dear?”

 

We cannot deny what the Scripture has to say about the roles of husbands and wives regardless of what our culture may espouse. The apostle addresses wives first though he has a great deal more to say to the husbands. I’ll follow the same order, though there is nothing significant about that in my opinion. Each section carries the same weight. First, we must note that he does not say, “Husbands, get your wives to submit to you.” That is not the role or responsibility of the husband. We should also not that he also does not command the husband to be the head of the household. Rather, he says it is the responsibility of the wife to be submissive.

 

The confusion comes from the understanding of submission. To get to this definition we must take a look at what Jesus did. In Paul’s letter to the Philippians he tells every believer to have the same mind as Jesus did, who “humbled himself… becoming a servant” (cf. Philippians 2:1-9). There’s the key. It is about serving others. For a home to be what God has designed, wives (and others) must understand the strength of humble service by obedience to the Lord. It is Christ-centered, not self-centered. It is about a relationship, not a position.