Christian Homes (pt. 4)

 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV).

 

We find a further definition of the word “love” as Paul uses it in Ephesians through our reading today. In summary, love is a commitment. It is an act of will, not merely a feeling or emotion. It is implied in the definite action of leaving father and mother and permanently cleaving to your spouse, so that you become one flesh. It is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. It’s a decision, a judgment, and a promise. There are some specifics about this kind of love that we should also understand:

 

     First, it is a realistic commitment. This means that a man cannot enter into a marriage thinking that this “perfect” person is going to meet all his needs. Just as Jesus knew us, including all our imperfections and sin, and yet gave himself so that we might become His bride, so a husband should realize that his wife is not perfect, though he is committed to love her anyway. True love is not conditioned on anything the wife does’ it is based in what the one making the commitment does in their commitment.

 

     Second, it is a growing commitment. That means we must work at it and nurture it as the years go by. It doesn’t run on autopilot. It requires thought and attention. It often must be done when you don’t feel like doing it.

 

     Third, it is a total commitment. You can’t hold anything back. This kind of commitment ends independence and creates a new single one-flesh entity. It means that you can no longer think only of yourself. You must include your spouse in all your thinking and plans. And, it means that there is no escape clause when things get difficult.

 

Such a love cannot be practiced if a couple doesn’t spend time talking, not just about plans and “deep” things, but also about the little things that make each day. Someone has observed, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.”