Christian Homes (pt. 3)

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:28-33 ESV).

 

I hope you’ve been following the Morning Devotionals the last few days as we have explored this part of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians dealing with the family. Today our reading continues to explore the love a Christian husband should have toward his wife. Understanding the meaning of words from the Scripture is important. This is especially true of the word translated “love.” If your understanding is based on what you learned from Hallmark movies, popular songs, or romance novels, you will likely believe that love is some mysterious feeling that comes over you and may go away just as mysteriously. It usually results in a feeling expressed by so many couple on the verge of divorce as they say, “I just don’t love him/her anymore.” That simply is the wrong kind of love as the Bible talks about it. The love Paul is talking about is a self-sacrificing, caring commitment that shows itself in seeking the highest good of the one loved.

 

It is the way Jesus loves the Church (v. 25). He didn’t sit on His throne and bark commands to us on earth. He didn’t even come to earth and sit on a throne and give orders to us. At an incredible personal cost that we can never fully fathom, He laid aside His rights as God, took on human flesh and became obedient to death on the cross, where He was actually made sin for us (cf. 2 Corinthians 5:21). A husband may say, I’d die for my wide if it ever came down to it. I’d fight to the death in order to protect her.” That’s wonderful, but the real question is whether we are crucifying ourselves each day on her behalf? Are we setting aside our needs and selfish desires in order to meet her needs? Martin Lloyd-Jones said it well:

 

“The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. It is rooted in our desire for ‘our rights,’ in ‘what I want,’ and, in ‘who I am’. Therefore, any tendency to assert self at once conflicts with the fundamental concept of marriage.”

 

Husbands, love your wives like Jesus loves the Church; and, wives stop competing with your husbands and accept that love.