Love Incorruptible

So that you also may know how I am and what I am doing, Tychicus the beloved brother and faithful minister in the Lord will tell you everything. I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage your hearts. Peace be to the brothers, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. (Ephesians 6:21-24 ESV).

 

As we close our brief look into the book of Ephesians we discover two words that Paul uses at the end of his letter: love incorruptible. This world will always try to erode our love for God and one another, but What God has done in Christ, as demonstrated through the book of Ephesians and throughout the gospel is incorruptible! This is the last thing Paul wants the Church to remember. All the principles, exhortations, and truth he has written are of no value without an intimate knowledge of this truth. It is the heart of the Gospel.

 

There are those moments throughout my day when I am moved with the thought of how blessed I have been in life. I like to say that I have been “bubble-wrapped.” What I intend to convey is the truth that regardless of the trials or difficulties in life, I am the recipient of so much more than I could have ever earned or deserved. I have all that I need, and so much more than I even desire. Of course, I am not talking about wealth or possessions, though I have plenty of “stuff,” just ask Mary! I am referencing the incredible gift of eternal life Jesus has won on my behalf through His sacrificial death on the cross and the final victory of His resurrection.

 

This devotional will be published on Monday, January 31^st. You will likely read it that day or soon after. I’m writing it on Tuesday, January 25^th. In between these two dates I will have a regular check-up with one of the cardiologists who treat my heart disease. I must confess I am a bit curious to see if he admits me to the hospital for another arteriogram and possible stents for more blockages. I seem to have many of the same symptoms previous to the other procedures. I am perplexed about that. I continue to be faced with the same dilemma Paul must have faced when he wrote, “…for me to live is Christ, and for me to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). I can assure you I will be compliant with all the doctors direct; however, I know I’m good either way. In life I have more than I could possibly expect… family, friends, community with other faithful, and love incorruptible! But, in death I have an eternity with the One who provides it so that it can never be torn away by the enemy! That’s the end of every matter for Paul; and, it is for me as well. That is what we must celebrate! 

The Armor of God (pt. 7)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

The sixth piece of armor that Paul discusses in our reading is “…the sword of the spirit, which is the Word of God” (v. 17). For a Roman soldier, the sword served as an offensive weapon against enemies. When sharpened, the sword could pierce through just about anything, making it a very dangerous weapon. To understand the connection between the sword and the Word of God, it is first important to understand the power of God’s word. The writer of Hebrews says, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

 

Through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit using the Scripture, we can distinguish between right and wrong. As a result, we can strive to live in a way that is free from destructive influence of sin. Scripture is true and we can find confidence in knowing it is our greatest weapon. If we are lacking in knowledge of the bible, we will struggle to fight against the enemy. However, those who seek the wisdom available to us through the Holy Spirit will be blessed. Jesus said, “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).

 

In addition, the sword of the spirit is unique in that it can be used as both a defensive and offensive weapon. While it can protect us from the lies of the enemy, it can also counter attacks (cf. Matthew 4). We are not called to do this by our own strength. When facing trials, we can find peace in knowing that God is on our side. The apostle says, “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). With God on our side, we are unstoppable.

 

The Armor of God (pt. 6)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

Next the apostle Paul turns to the protection of the head. He says, “… take the helmet of salvation” (v. 17). When a soldier of the apostle Paul’s day suited up for battle, the helmet was the last piece of the armament to be put in place. In fact, without the helmet, a soldier would be so vulnerable that the rest of the armor would be of little use. Paul’s statement “take the helmet of salvation” is the shortest description given to any of the pieces of armor—it required almost no explanation in terms of its value.

 

The Roman helmet, known as a galea, could vary quite a bit in design, since mass manufacturing didn’t exist at that time and each helmet was created individually. There was also some variation in the helmet design over time during the life of the empire. Usually the helmets were made of metal, though poorer soldiers or soldiers from the early days of the empire may have had leather helmets fortified with pieces of metal. The most obvious value of the helmet was to protect against blows to the head. Helmets usually had cheek plates to guard against blows to the face, and a metal piece in the back to protect against blows to the back of the neck. In addition, during the early first century the helmets began to include a brow ridge to provide protection for the eyes.

 

A soldier going into battle without a helmet would have instantly exposed himself to the deadliest of blows. Leaving off any piece of the armor would have been dangerous, but to go without the helmet would have been unthinkable. We can no more afford to be without the helmet of salvation today. The helmet of salvation protects us and keeps our focus where it needs to be: the end of the race. The helmet of salvation means we don’t have to live in fear of Satan. When he tries to disorient and destroy us, the helmet reminds us that our victory will come, not from us, but from the God who rules the universe—and that God wants to give us that victory. And with that helmet firmly seated on our heads, we can focus on living the life God called us to live—fighting the good fight on our journey to the Kingdom of God.

 

The Armor of God (pt. 5)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

The next piece of armor is: “the shield of faith, with which you extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one” (v. 16). The Roman shield, or scutum, was a central part of the soldier’s defense. The scutum of the first century was rectangular in shape and rounded on the ends. It was typically made from two sheets of wood that were glued together, then covered with canvas and leather. The canvas and leather could be doused with water to protect against flaming arrows. The shield weighed about 22 pounds and was roughly 40 inches high and 30 inches across. A metal piece ran across the center of the shield, so it could also be used as a weapon to punch or push forward. Paul, in his analogy of the Christian armament, says that “above all” we should be taking the shield of faith!

 

To see why faith is so important, we must first understand what faith is. The author of Hebrews describes it as the realization of something we can’t see: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony” (Hebrews 11:1-2). The word faith in the New Testament is translated from the Greek word pistis, defined by Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary as “firm belief.” Faith is an unshakable belief in the promises of God.

 

When our faith in God’s power and love is strong, it is impossible for Satan to break through our shield and land a blow. Faith means more than just believing that God exists, of course. It includes a firm belief that everything God does is truly for our good. Also, faith is the absolute conviction that God will always do what He has promised (cf. Romans 4:18-21). The shield of faith is not just for personal protection. The Roman soldiers had a strategy of joining their shields together. If we join our shields—that is, strengthen each other with our faith, building up and serving as we are able—we will be able to take on any challenge.

 

Take up your faith against the insults, doubts, and lies that are so often hurled at you. It is your protection as well as those who are in your care.

 

The Armor of God (pt. 4)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

The next piece of armor is: “the shoes of the preparation of the gospel of peace” (v. 15). Sometimes we shorten it to “the shoes of peace” or “the shoes of the gospel,” but the whole phrase is important. During the time of the apostle Paul, the shoes worn by the soldiers of the Roman Empire were called caligae. They were specifically designed to keep soldiers’ feet healthy during the rigors of long forced marches and were very different from the sandals worn by most of the populace. The shoes were constructed from three layers of leather, which were pulled up and laced around the ankle. The caligae helped protect against blisters and foot diseases. In addition, small spikes or iron hobnails were often driven into the soles of the shoes in order to give firm footing on uneven terrain.

 

A soldier’s shoes formed the foundation of his armament. In those days, the foot soldiers of the empire relied on walking as their primary means of transportation, so the ability to move easily and comfortably was a necessity for them. In addition, they needed to be able to step about in battle without thinking about where they placed their feet. They needed solid footing in order to concentrate on the battle at hand. The hobnails on their shoes made it easier to hold their ground or navigate through difficult terrain.

 

The word preparation used here comes from the Greek word hetoimasia. Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words says this about the word hetoimasia in this context: “The Gospel itself is to be the firm footing of the believer, his walk being worthy of it and therefore a testimony in regard to it.” The word gospel is translated from the Greek word euangelion, and it means “good news” or “good tidings.” During His earthly ministry, Jesus made multiple references to the gospel message (cf. Matthew 4:23). It was synonymous with the good news of salvation. That is our firm footing. Doubt and fear of failure are based in our weakness. The good news is that we now have the strength of the Holy Spirit within us enabling us to do whatever we are called to do. Of that we can be certain!

 

The Armor of God (pt. 3)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

The second piece of armor, the breastplate, is likened to righteousness: “Having put on the breastplate of righteousness” (Ephesians 6:14). Soldiers of that time had another piece of protective armor to ward off enemy blows, the shield (which we will look at in a subsequent devotional). But during the heat of battle, those blows could come from unexpected directions, or there could be too many to ward off with just a shield. The breastplate provided protection against the unexpected and against overwhelming numbers.

 

The breastplate worn by Roman soldiers was generally made of iron, though some wealthier soldiers may have worn a bronze breastplate. It consisted of overlapping pieces of metal with connecting front and back sections. There were rounded pieces protecting the shoulders and the breastplate usually rested on the soldier’s hips so the entire weight wasn’t carried on the shoulders. The overlapping pieces allowed for more flexibility of movement. This piece of armor protected the vital organs of the soldier during battle. Adam Clarke’s Commentary says: “As the breast-plate defends the heart and lungs, and all those vital functionaries that are contained in what is called the region of the thorax; so this righteousness defends everything on which the man’s spiritual existence depends.”

 

Without righteousness, we leave ourselves open to the enemies’ attacks. Righteousness is solely dependent on the redemptive act of Christ on the cross. It is in His death that we have been made righteous. It is that position that we must “put on” each day. We can behave righteously if we are resting in the relationship we have through Jesus. That gives us power to be who we have been chosen to be. Trust in Him and obedience then becomes possible. Guilt and shame are banished in our new position. Those attacks now cannot hold us in fear.

The Armor of God (pt. 2)

 

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:13-20 ESV).

 

Today we will look at the first piece of the “armor of God”: the belt of truth (v. 14). It almost seems odd that Paul would use this piece of the Roman soldier’s armor first. However, the belt plays a much more important role than we may think. The belt is used by the Roman soldiers to secure and carry their weapon. It is the first essential piece of equipment for them to put on, without a belt, they would be defenseless. We know this to be true in our experience as well. Law enforcement officers today have their utility belts with all their equipment attached and easily within their reach.

 

However, Paul associates the belt of a soldier with “truth.” For Christians, the truth is found in the Scripture and it serves as our foundation for belief and practice. Paul reminds Timothy that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). If our beliefs are not rooted in God’s Word, we cannot expect to fight successfully. I often explain my use of the Scripture to new clients because of my belief that it is the repository of truth; and, it is that truth that will set you free.

 

We should also note that just as a belt is worn close to the body, we should hold God’s truth close to us and allow it to surround us. When we remain in His Word, we can distinguish what is true from what is untrue. This becomes the root of wisdom. So,

with that being said, I encourage you to apply the concept of the belt of truth to your life and hold onto God’s truth. In the end, by remaining in His Word, you will be equipped for spiritual battles that may come your way. Truth should surround us like a belt. Knowing God’s truth is the weapon against Satan’s lies and deception.

 

The Armor of God (pt. 1)

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. (Ephesians 6:10-13 ESV).

 

As the Apostle Paul comes to the conclusion of his letter he writes, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might” (v. 10). It is in the following verses that he uses a very familiar image to his readers to describe the defensive and offensive weapons we have been given from God “to stand firm” (v. 13). In that day it was a very common sight to see Roman soldiers in the streets patrolling and keeping the peace. Just as we are very familiar with the uniform of our police officers, so they were familiar with the uniform of the Romans. He will list these in subsequent verse, and we will look at each piece. Today, I want to call your attention to the need for such equipment.

 

The contrast that the apostle uses is very important to note. He says that our real enemies are not “flesh and blood,” which is a reference to the things we can see. I find it interesting that we often see our challenges in terms of things or people that we have difficulty with. The truth is the real enemy is in the spiritual realm, the “powers of darkness.”

 

Let me use a minor inconvenience as an example. Imagine you’re in the grocery store, the lines are long and you only have a few items that you need to pay for, while others have baskets full of groceries. You patiently wait your turn and are next in line when the clerk and the customer begin a lengthy conversation “catching up” on all the things their kids are doing. What could have been a few minutes turns into fifteen, which feels like eternity. Is that really a problem with the clerk and her friend, or is that a problem you’re having with your internal mindset and the temptation to express your impatience? Our real enemies are “the world, the flesh, and the devil.” Paul urges us to use the armor of God to protect us from these things so that we might “stand firm.”

 

Today, renew you commitment to put on this armor and protect yourself from the darkness of our fallen world.

  

Christian Homes (pt. 5)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 ESV).

 

The Apostle Paul now turns to the children in the Christian home. I’ve selected a picture for today’s devotional that is the only picture I possess of all of my brothers and their children. The oldest is standing second from the left, back row; the youngest child, my son, Aaron, is standing second from the left, front row. I’m not sure of the exact year it was taken, though it must have been in the early 90’s. We’ve all aged a bit with my older two brothers now deceased. I cannot imagine the stories that could be told from all four of us concerning the exploits of our children! I do know none of us were a model of the first part of the apostle’s instruction in our reading: Children obey your parents (v. 1). The same could be said for every human being. We are all, after all, sinners.

 

The key is in the second part of his instruction. By quoting the fourth commandment, Paul is saying the principle is in “honoring” our parents. Again, as with “love,” we must understand the word “honor.” The Hebrew word for honor in Scripture conveys the idea of “weightiness” (Kabad). Parenthood is an office that should hold a certain weight, receive a defined honor, just for its mere existence. In His sovereignty, God provided weight, dignity, and honor to the office of parenthood. RC Sproul explains, “God doesn't say, 'Honor your father and mother only when they're honorable.’ Theirs is a position. They hold an office. And even if they are unworthy of that office, the office itself is still to be honored.” 

 

Jesus gives us an example. His relationship to His Father was perfectly in alignment with the commandment. However, unlike the relationship between God and Jesus, the Bible is filled with far less stellar examples of parent-child relationships. Instead, it’s filled with stories of flawed humans like you and me. Subconsciously we attribute super human powers to our parents when we are young, and when those images come crashing down, their humanity is often too much to bear. And yet there is no caveat in Scripture for this command. If your parents are still living, it is not too late to honor them; and, for those who are “children” practice honor without the demands of perfect from them.

  

Christian Homes (pt. 4)

 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV).

 

We find a further definition of the word “love” as Paul uses it in Ephesians through our reading today. In summary, love is a commitment. It is an act of will, not merely a feeling or emotion. It is implied in the definite action of leaving father and mother and permanently cleaving to your spouse, so that you become one flesh. It is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. It’s a decision, a judgment, and a promise. There are some specifics about this kind of love that we should also understand:

 

     First, it is a realistic commitment. This means that a man cannot enter into a marriage thinking that this “perfect” person is going to meet all his needs. Just as Jesus knew us, including all our imperfections and sin, and yet gave himself so that we might become His bride, so a husband should realize that his wife is not perfect, though he is committed to love her anyway. True love is not conditioned on anything the wife does’ it is based in what the one making the commitment does in their commitment.

 

     Second, it is a growing commitment. That means we must work at it and nurture it as the years go by. It doesn’t run on autopilot. It requires thought and attention. It often must be done when you don’t feel like doing it.

 

     Third, it is a total commitment. You can’t hold anything back. This kind of commitment ends independence and creates a new single one-flesh entity. It means that you can no longer think only of yourself. You must include your spouse in all your thinking and plans. And, it means that there is no escape clause when things get difficult.

 

Such a love cannot be practiced if a couple doesn’t spend time talking, not just about plans and “deep” things, but also about the little things that make each day. Someone has observed, “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.”

 

Christian Homes (pt. 3)

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:28-33 ESV).

 

I hope you’ve been following the Morning Devotionals the last few days as we have explored this part of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians dealing with the family. Today our reading continues to explore the love a Christian husband should have toward his wife. Understanding the meaning of words from the Scripture is important. This is especially true of the word translated “love.” If your understanding is based on what you learned from Hallmark movies, popular songs, or romance novels, you will likely believe that love is some mysterious feeling that comes over you and may go away just as mysteriously. It usually results in a feeling expressed by so many couple on the verge of divorce as they say, “I just don’t love him/her anymore.” That simply is the wrong kind of love as the Bible talks about it. The love Paul is talking about is a self-sacrificing, caring commitment that shows itself in seeking the highest good of the one loved.

 

It is the way Jesus loves the Church (v. 25). He didn’t sit on His throne and bark commands to us on earth. He didn’t even come to earth and sit on a throne and give orders to us. At an incredible personal cost that we can never fully fathom, He laid aside His rights as God, took on human flesh and became obedient to death on the cross, where He was actually made sin for us (cf. 2 Corinthians 5:21). A husband may say, I’d die for my wide if it ever came down to it. I’d fight to the death in order to protect her.” That’s wonderful, but the real question is whether we are crucifying ourselves each day on her behalf? Are we setting aside our needs and selfish desires in order to meet her needs? Martin Lloyd-Jones said it well:

 

“The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. It is rooted in our desire for ‘our rights,’ in ‘what I want,’ and, in ‘who I am’. Therefore, any tendency to assert self at once conflicts with the fundamental concept of marriage.”

 

Husbands, love your wives like Jesus loves the Church; and, wives stop competing with your husbands and accept that love.

Christian Homes (pt. 2)

 

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Epheisans 5:25-27 ESV).

 

Today we come to the role of the husband in the home. I think if I were to survey most Christian men and ask, “What is your primary responsibility in the family?” they would reply, “To be the head of the home.” My simple answer is to say that’s not Scripturally accurate. Jesus alone is the head of the family, just as He is Lord over all creation. I am not minimizing the staggering responsibility given to the husband. The apostle says he is to be the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. I do not in any way intend to disparage the need for godly, Christ-centered leadership on the part of the Christian husband; however, Paul says the primary responsibility of the husband is not to be the head of his wife, but to love her.

 

I remember the day Mary and I said our vows and became husband and wife 53 years ago very well. The photographer was everywhere setting us into place for “the perfect shot.” Some of the photos were reserved for after the wedding as they required us to be in the photo together and the practice was still common that the groom could not see the bride until the wedding began. One of those photos was the picture of our hands on top of a bible turned to the passage known as “the Love Chapter” (1 Corinthians 13). I did not know the full weight of that symbol then; and, I have been discovering more each day since. This I do know now: Love is the only means to a successful relationship. I am not “in charge,” neither is Mary. Jesus is in charge. My responsibility is to follow Him and love as He has loved the church, willing to sacrifice my life for her.

 

I’ve often shared an experience we had soon after Kyle was born in 1974. It was that moment when I realized the meaning of how God had given me my greatest treasure in life in my wife. When we truly treasure someone we will do anything and everything we can to protect and secure them. Now, don’t misunderstand, I’ve made more than enough mistakes in the doing of that. By no means am I saying I’ve been the perfect (or, even ideal) husband. What I am saying is that our focus, as believing husbands, begins and ends with the realization that our first priority is to love our wives. Recognizing this great treasure is the first step in that process. That kind of love brings trust; and, trust brings relationship.

 

Christian Homes (pt. 1)

 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV).

 

Today I am beginning one of the most important and yet misunderstood readings in Ephesians. For the next few days we’ll look at Paul’s instructions to the members of a Christian home. He has some specific things to say to husbands, wives, and their children. All of it can be summarized with the word “submission.” That word is the one that gives all of us pause. Our sin nature simply does not do well with anyone who may be in a position to lead us.

 

Not long ago I read a light-hearted report of a poll taken of 100 families in the northeast. In 90 of the homes, the wife described herself as the head of the family, and the husband in each case agreed. In 9 of the remaining families the husbands said he was the head of the family, but the wife disagreed. In fact, there was only one of the one hundred families where the wife named the husband as the head of the family. When told that they had won an award for the admission and were asked to select their prize, the husband turned to his wife and asked, “What shall I choose, dear?”

 

We cannot deny what the Scripture has to say about the roles of husbands and wives regardless of what our culture may espouse. The apostle addresses wives first though he has a great deal more to say to the husbands. I’ll follow the same order, though there is nothing significant about that in my opinion. Each section carries the same weight. First, we must note that he does not say, “Husbands, get your wives to submit to you.” That is not the role or responsibility of the husband. We should also not that he also does not command the husband to be the head of the household. Rather, he says it is the responsibility of the wife to be submissive.

 

The confusion comes from the understanding of submission. To get to this definition we must take a look at what Jesus did. In Paul’s letter to the Philippians he tells every believer to have the same mind as Jesus did, who “humbled himself… becoming a servant” (cf. Philippians 2:1-9). There’s the key. It is about serving others. For a home to be what God has designed, wives (and others) must understand the strength of humble service by obedience to the Lord. It is Christ-centered, not self-centered. It is about a relationship, not a position.