The Path to Forgiveness - Pt. 4

 

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 ESV).

 

The third step in the path to forgiveness is an approach called “reframing.” Reframing allows you to look at the original offense in a new way. The Apostle Paul says this is taking “every thought captive” (v. 5). I have often used the illustration of “unloading your train.” Perhaps your father yelled at you and otherwise ignored you. You feel he never loved you. You feel you can’t forgive him, and he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. But there may be circumstances you have never considered. Maybe your dad was raised by a father who yelled at him and ignored him. Maybe that was the only parenting model he had. Perhaps he really wanted to do better, but he didn’t know how. Maybe when you were a kid, your dad had a lot of stress in his life. Maybe he was brought up to think children are the mother’s job, and making money was his job. Perhaps he didn’t understand how much he was hurting you. Those things don’t change the circumstances of your childhood, or your experiences. But they may enable you to see your father in a slightly different light. Perhaps they can help you begin to let go of some of your anger.

 

It could be that the injury done you was itself an unforgivable act. Perhaps you were seriously physically abused, or sexually molested. Maybe you were the victim of a terrible crime. I will not trivialize your injury by suggesting anything will ever make it all right, or make you able to forget it. The person who did that does not deserve “a pass.” Adults are always responsible for their own behavior. But it might help to consider the possibility your offender was him or herself a victim at some time. Molesters were often molested. Violent criminals were often subject to violence in their own lives.

 

This “reframing” allows us to let go of the thoughts that would justify our punishment of the offender and deliver it into the hands of the only One able to truly know every circumstance. It allows us to get rid of the burdens we carry unnecessarily. Getting rid of these makes room for the blessing of the good God intends to deliver to us through every experience. Unloading all this excess baggage frees us from our captivity to these thoughts and experiences. It may require help for you to do this. However, your commitment to begin the process only requires your decision to do so. Do that today!