Are You Disagreeable?

 

Now the rest of the acts of Rehoboam and all that he did, are they not written in the Book of the Chronicles of the Kings of Judah? And there was war between Rehoboam and Jeroboam continually. And Rehoboam slept with his fathers and was buried with his fathers in the city of David. His mother’s name was Naamah the Ammonite. And Abijam his son reigned in his place. (1 Kings 14:29-31 ESV).

 

After Solomon died, Rehoboam was able to hold on to only two of the twelve tribes of Israel (cf. 1 Kings 12:20-21). The other ten tribes went with Jeroboam. So Jeroboam and Rehoboam did the natural thing: they fought. Yes, fighting is the natural thing. We know this sad truth from the history of all nations, our families, our workplaces, and, tragically, even our churches. Tragically, we see it more in these days than ever. Perhaps it’s the level of frustration at being so unable to really control our future; or, perhaps we simply give in to the inevitable weakness of our resolve to trust Jesus’ direction in our lives. Zig Ziglar said it like this: “You can disagree without being disagreeable.”

 

Jesus certainly understood this truth and modeled it for us. Remember, He taught, "Blessed are the peacemakers" (Matthew 5:9); as well as and he taught, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). Jesus possessed all power, but he never used it to harm anyone or make people submit to him.

 

I’ve often wondered about the longevity of some relationships. Mary and I have been married for over half a century. Perhaps we are like the couple at their 60th wedding anniversary celebration who were asked the secret to their long marriage. The husband said, "Well, when we married, we made a deal: I would make all the major decisions, and she would make all the minor decisions." Then the wife added, "And in 60 years, we've never had to make a major decision!" I guess the truth is that throughout all those years both husband and wife were committed to peaceful decision making in a major way. It does work.

 

Whatever your disagreement with others, hold to your convictions. But, lay down your arms, and pray. With God's help, you can be a peacemaker. You can speak the truth with grace. You can be right without needing to “win”. You can stop the name calling and mockery just as soon as you trust Jesus to empower you with peace.