A Soft Answer - Pt 4

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity. (Proverbs 28:13-14 ESV). The fourth principle in a soft answer is to admit our role in the conflict. Again the wisdom of Solomon helps us see this principle: Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. (Proverbs 28:13 ESV).

In keeping with our use of the Peanuts characters, today we find Charlie Brown attempting therapy. I, of all people, would not disparage getting professional help when we feel “stuck” in life and simply cannot manage to see a way to go forward positively and affirmatively. Counseling and Life Coaching can and does help many people; fundamentally, however, what causes many of our problems in our lives is simply our refusal to admit our participation in a wrong. We certainly don't want our "fair share" of punishment for the things we have done wrongly in life. We always think much better of ourselves than what we deserve. Perhaps this is why Solomon urges us to “confess.” The word "conceal" in this verse is that same Hebrew word translated "cover" in Proverbs 10:12 and "overlook" in Proverbs 19:11. The idea here is that I can’t "cover" or "overlook" my own sins. Only the person I hurt can make the choice to "cover" or "overlook" my offense. Concealed sin cuts off God’s blessings in my life. Concealed sin hinders my prayer life, it chokes off God’s love; it builds a blockade against God’s presence. But when we confess and renounce our sins, we discover mercy. Further, the word for confess simply means agree or acknowledge. Instead of calling it indiscretion, call it gossip. Instead of calling it hormones, call it lust. Instead of calling it mistake, call it a sin. The word renounce means to abandon. This leads to mercy. Now we always find mercy from God when we confess and renounce, but we don’t always find mercy from people. Some people will refuse to forgive us. But we can be assured of God’s mercy, and when we admit our faults, we’re no longer isolated from God’s grace and presence in our lives. When we honestly admit our faults, we begin to walk in integrity. By admitting our faults, we make ourselves vulnerable to those we’ve hurt. We take what’s in our private self, and we take the risk to make it public. We do this, refusing to justify ourselves or make excuses, simply calling our sin for what it was. This kind of integrity opens us up to God’s blessings and grace, filling us with his mercy and compassion. This produces a soft answer that is essential to relational communication.