The Good Listener - Pt 4

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Proverbs 17:17 ESV). The third principle in becoming a good listening is to recognize that good listening is ministry. I have never known how to be a minister without being able to listen to the people who are brought into my path. Sometimes that means spending time and energy with people in difficult times. Sometimes it means withholding judgment and believing someone even in the face of incredible evidence to the contrary. However, it is always worth the effort. Bonhoeffer believes there are many times when “listening can be a greater service than speaking.” God wants more of the Christian than just our good listening, but not less. There will be days when the most important ministry we do is square our shoulders to some hurting person, uncross our arms, lean forward, make eye contact, and hear their pain all the way to the bottom. A good listener can often defuses the emotions that are a part of the problem being discussed. Sometimes releasing these emotions is all that is needed to solve the problem. The speaker may neither want nor expect us to say anything in response. One of the keys to doing this kind of ministry with our listening is to put more emphasis on affirmation than on answers. Many times God simply wants to use me as a channel of his affirming love as I listen with compassion and understanding. Bonhoeffer echoes this principle: “Often a person can be helped merely by having someone who will listen to him seriously.” At times what our neighbor needs most is for someone else to know. On one occasion in a peanuts cartoon, Peppermint Patty said to Marcie: “I’d like to read this book, Marcie, but I’m kind of afraid. I had a grandfather who didn’t think much of reading.” She continued by saying, “He always said that if you read too many books, your head would fall off.” Marcie responds, “you start the first chapter, and I’ll hold onto your head!” Friends hold on to friends and let them hold on to them so that they will all save face by facing the future as people who will know and do God’s Word. I wonder if there’s not someone you need to hold on to today? Is there someone you need to just sit and listen to today? Perhaps its someone you have never met; or, perhaps its someone you have just gotten too busy to be with. Is there a family member that you have drifted away from and need to reestablish relationship with? Do it today!