Shame and Self-denigration

 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be9 against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV).

 

I have come to a very important foundation truth through the years of sharing the gospel with others. It rises out of the popular practice of self-denigration. This is exacerbated by the loss of ability to disagree agreeably. Today we have seen more public displays of this than ever in my lifetime. How we got to this point is not nearly as important as how we stop it. The petty name calling and disrespectful shouting down of those who disagree with us is no more than bullying. Trying to shame others into submission leads to a belief that maybe there is something wrong with us. Well let’s settle a part of that equation: there is something wrong with all of us. It is called sin. However, there is a solution that forever resolves this condition. It is the grace of God through the work of Jesus.

 

Shame is a heavy burden. Shame weighs us down and hinders us from being who God has intended us to be. Sometimes shame is raw like an open wound—and with terrifying memories. We can also carry shame for years, living with insecurities, fears, and a sense of self-disdain because of hurtful actions and exchanges from long ago. Shame holds us down with the weights of judgment, condemnation, expectations, disapproval, and more. The freedom of resurrection life in Jesus, however, releases the burden of shame in our lives. Jesus carried our shame to the cross. He was betrayed, beaten, humiliated, and exposed, giving up his life to pay for our sin so that we might be released from the tyranny and shame of sin. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, when we ask God for forgiveness, we are forgiven. God’s love frees us to let go of the ugliness of the past and move forward in confidence, knowing “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). And nothing can separate us from God’s love.

 

Learning to live in the confidence and acceptance of this new identity takes some time to figure out. While you work through the process, know that God is on your side, desiring that you live in the freedom and fullness of understanding who you are as a holy and dearly loved child of God.