Joseph's Love for Mary

 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV).

 

So let’s begin with Joseph’s love for Mary, an incredibly important part of the Christmas story. You might say, “Well of course he loved Mary. They were engaged!” And yes, they were engaged to be married, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Joseph loved her. In that day and time people often got married for reasons other than love. Marriages were typically arranged by the spouses’ parents. Many times marriage was viewed more as a social or economic relationship rather than romantically based. We can surmise that Joseph had a different relationship than this because of his response when Mary was found to be pregnant during the engagement, before they were married, before they had come together as husband and wife. As far as Joseph knew, Mary had been unfaithful to him and slept with another man. Joseph must have felt completely betrayed by this and would have every right to be angry and upset with her.

 

Joseph had several options here. He could go ahead and marry her, knowing that the child wasn’t his own. However, that would have gone against his convictions as a man committed to God and God’s ways. No matter how much he loved Mary, he needed to put his relationship with God first. He could have taken her before the tribunal and had her tried for adultery. This would have been a vindictive move. At the very least Mary would be publicly disgraced, or even worse, she could be sentenced to death by stoning. Joseph chose a third option. Instead of marrying her in defiance of God’s commands, instead of bringing her before the judges in an act of revenge, he thought about what was best for Mary in this situation. And so he decided rather than expose her to public disgrace, he would divorce her quietly. Sure people would still know and talk about her. That was unavoidable. But at least she wouldn’t go through the public humiliation of a trial.

 

Joseph had several options open to him, and he chose the way of love. He chose the way that would bring the least amount of shame and attention to Mary. Love always protects (v. 7), and Joseph chose to protect Mary, even when he thought she had been unfaithful to him. Joseph’s love for Mary is our first example of love at Christmas. It is important to note that God intervened and sent an angel to give Joseph a supernatural path other than those he saw. But, it was his love for the Lord and Mary that allowed it to be as it was. That is the kind of love we ought to remember and emulate.