The Mystery of Marriage - Pt 4

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:1-7 ESV).

I’ve chosen another picture from our wedding 50 years ago. It is the exchange of rings portion of the ceremony. There is an interesting truth that is illustrated by the physical condition of these rings all these years. Both of them are not nearly as “new” as they were that day. They have grown worn, the Florentine nearly invisible, mine is no longer a perfect circle having been misshapen with age, and Mary’s is nearly rubbed through on one side. They have not been hidden away in a safe place; they have been displayed on our hands indicated our lives together. Life has happened to them as it has happened to us. Following Christ has not meant easy lives without challenge. However, as every ding and dent in our rings has merely been another memory of the life lived, so every challenge has merely been a reminder of the costly nature and unshakeable commitment of God to us in His grace through Christ. In the hope that I might encourage you by these verses and the truth of them in our lives, let me conclude with some practical application. First, husbands, allow your lives to be transformed by the call of leadership. In other words, husbands, don’t stop leading, but turn all your leading into serving. The responsibility of leadership is given not to puff yourself up, but to build your family up. Second, wives, submission does not mean putting the husband in the place of Christ. Submission does not mean that the husband’s word is absolute. Only Christ’s word is absolute. No wife should follow a husband into sin. You can’t do that in reverence to Christ. Submission does not mean surrendering thought. It does not mean you have no input on decisions or no influence on your husband. It does not come from ignorance or incompetence. It comes from what is fitting and appropriate (cf. Colossians 3:18). When a man senses a primary God-given responsibility for the spiritual life of the family, gathering the family for devotions, taking them to church, calling for prayer at meals, when he senses a primary God-given responsibility for the discipline and education of the children, the provision of food, the safety of the home, the healing of discord, that special sense of responsibility is not authoritarian, autocratic, domineering, oppressive, or abusive. It is simply servant-leadership. And I have never met a wife who is sorry she is married to a man like that. Because when God designs a thing, he designs it for his glory and our good.