Parenting with Hope

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days. Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has given birth; then the rest of his brothers shall return to the people of Israel. And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth. And he shall be their peace. (Micah 5:2-5 ESV).

This week has already been filled with parents who have reached a point in their lives where they have seriously questioned their decision to have children. Parents who are dealing with some very difficult behavioral issues; parents who are wrestling with the relational choices of their near adult children; and, parents who simply feel as though they are failing their children completely are just a few of the issues I have encountered this week. And, it’s only Wednesday! I am often brought back to the basic principle of parenting with hope. My response is both simple at first glance and complex in application. Simply put, when everything seems to be imploding in your family you look to the Lord. You cry out to the Lord with two very deep convictions. One is that you are a sinner and that you don’t deserve anything from God. We have not been perfect parents. We have sinned. And we are not foolish or naïve. We know we have also been sinned against. But everything in our flesh wants to think about that. Only the Holy Spirit can make us see our own sin. Only the Holy Spirit can make us feel our own guilt. That’s one deep conviction. The other is that there is no God like our God, who pardons iniquity and passes over transgression, and relents from anger, and delights in steadfast love. We must be just as deeply convinced of this as we are that we have sinned against our spouse and that we have sinned against our children, and that in all this we have sinned against God. These two principles are crucial. They work together, each making the depth of the other possible. If you don’t feel your sin and guilt, you won’t go deep with the pardon of God. But it works the other way, and this is crucial in families: If you don’t know the depths of God’s pardon, you won’t go deep with your own sin. These two deep convictions produce the posture of brokenhearted boldness. And that’s the posture for parenting with hope in the worst of times. Broken for our sin in the vortex of being sinned against, and bold because, “Who is a pardoning God like you!” And for Christians both halves of this posture are grounded and intensified by knowing Jesus and what he did for us on the cross. So if you are parenting in the worst of times, or want to get ready for parenting in the worst of times, or simply want hope in the worst of times, look at Micah and look at Jesus and take this posture: brokenness because of your sin, and boldness because of Christ. Then in the power of the Holy Spirit, set your heart on being the best imperfect parent you can be — for Jesus’ sake.