Connecting With Others

The poor use entreaties, but the rich answer roughly. A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:23-24 ESV). Loneliness is a growing problem in our society. A study by the American Council of Life Insurance reported that the loneliest groups in America are college students. That’s surprising! Next on the list are divorced people, welfare recipients, single mothers, rural students, housewives, and the elderly. To point out how lonely people can be, Charles Swindoll mentioned an ad in a Kansas newspaper. It read, “I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.” Swindoll said, “Sounds like a hoax, doesn’t it? But the person was serious. Did anybody call? You bet. It wasn’t long before this individual was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship.” It is amazing that so much has been said in recent years about friendship. You would think, with the ability to “connect” so easily with so many people from all over the world, that finding a friend would be no challenge at all. However, the opposite seems to be true. In such a crowded world there are many that need a friend and simply can’t find one. Some have offered that they simply aren’t friendly. That provides an easy excuse for not befriending another, but it does not solve the problem at all! We are called on in the Body of Christ to be that close brother to another, to be a friend. I like the following paragraph of definition from Bits and Pieces: Friends are people with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with them. They ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. They do not want you to be better or worse. When you are with them, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, as long as it is genuinely you. Friends understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With them you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meanness and absurdities, and in opening them up to friends, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of their loyalty. They understand. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse them, neglect them, and tolerate them. Best of all, you can keep still with them. It makes no matter. They like you. They are like fire that purges to the bone. They understand. You can weep with them, sing with them, laugh with them, and pray with them. Through it all—and underneath—they see, know, and love you. A friend? What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself. Do you have such a person as that in your life? Are you such a person in another’s life? You can be. You should be. Ask God to bring a friend into your life today, AND ask the Lord to show you someone to be a friend to today!