I Don't Get It!

You are God my stronghold. Why have you rejected me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? (Psalm 43:2, NIV).

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:8 NIV).

Recently I was looking through some old boxes to find pictures of the boys at various stages of growth. I am in the process of making a “Life’s Journey” DVD to give them. I found some of the pictures of them I had forgotten we even had! I found my oldest son’s baseball picture from his all star days in Little League. I saw the first soccer picture that our second son had made on his first team, “The Green Machine.” And there were mementos of our youngest son’s early years as well. So many memories came flooding back to me. I couldn’t help but be reflective. Some of those memories were good ones and some were not. I remembered that Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33). Amazing how true those words have proven to be in my life.

I was a big fan of pro golfer Payne Stewart. I admired his boldness, not only with his golf game, but also in the way he proclaimed the Gospel. He was a relatively new Christian, influenced by his wife, children, and pastor to turn his life around and make a serious commitment to Christ. While wearing a W.W.J.D bracelet his 10-year-old son had given him, he won the US Open Father’s Day weekend here in North Carolina. I will never forget what Payne said to Phil Mickelson after sinking an incredible putt to win. Mickelson's wife was past the due date to have their first baby. At the height of the thrill of victory -- at an emotional climax -- Payne grabbed Phil by the face, looked him right in the eyes and said, “You are going to be a great father. Being a father is great!” Payne knew what mattered most, not success on the golf course but success as a person, a father, and a husband. Less than a month later, Payne died in a tragic plane accident. It is easy to ask, “Why, God? I just don’t get it!”

There are many events in my life, past and present that I do not understand. I am sure there will be many more down the road. I question God during these times. I ask Him, “Why this?” And that is okay. God wants us to pour out to Him whatever is on our hearts. But, my attitude toward these events is changing as I grow in my faith. While I still ask why, I find myself asking more and more often the next question, “What God?” Looking back on defining moments that changed the direction and course of my life, I now see how God was teaching me and molding me more into His image and His plan. In the heat of the battle or in the midst of struggle, it is very difficult to step back and ask, “Okay God, you have me here in this trial. What are you wanting me to learn?” If you can step back and ask, "What?" instead of continuing to ask, "Why?" it will help you move forward as you deal with the struggle. Like David said in the verse above, our hope is in God. God does not give us trials without a purpose. When God gives us a test, He is pulling for us. He wants us to grow and learn from the test. God is rooting for you! He is your best Fan and with Him on your side, you can’t lose. Trust Him more and more; even when things don’t seem to make much sense.