Gentleness in Our Speech

 

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (James 3:5-12 ESV).

 

Perhaps there is no greater means of encouraging others than using gentleness in our speech. A common misconception is that gentleness is weakness or passivity. True gentleness, however, is just the opposite. It requires great strength and self-control. Gentleness comes from a state of humility. Therefore, someone who lacks gentleness is often prideful and easily angered or feels the need for revenge. To be gentle, we must not view ourselves as better than someone else. Rather than asserting superiority, someone who is gentle wants to help others, even when they have been done wrong.

 

The recording of Jesus’ interaction with the woman at the well in Samaria (cf. John 4) is a wonderful example of such strength with gentles in speech. When we are tempted to shout louder than we are being shouted at perhaps we should remember the example of our Savior. Just like how Jesus was gentle with the woman in this story, God is gentle with us. Even in our sin, He continues to love us. He does not keep a record of our wrongs but offers forgiveness through His work.

 

A gentle heart comes from having love for others, even those we disagree with the most. This is shown in our thoughts and in the way we interact with those around us. It is important to have an accurate perception of what gentleness is. It should not be seen as a weakness, but rather as a strength. When we see it this way, we can begin to work toward becoming gentler. By the way, this is not a matter of “decorum”; it is the will of God in our lives as believers.