Dripping Faucets

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand. Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who guards his master will be honored. As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man. (Proverbs 27:15-19 ESV).

 

Some people are quarrelsome and contentious and their ­actions are not gender-specific. Probably all of us know the challenge of dealing with people who are constantly quarreling or picking arguments. They can be difficult. Our reading today compares them to a “dripping faucet.” With a contentious person, there’s often a nagging “drip, drip, drip” that continues long after a quarrel has ended. As followers of Christ we ought to recognize that quarrelsome people hinder healthy relationships. Certainly disagreements have their place, but intimacy can be restored only if there’s ­honest communication followed by repentance and forgiveness. The Apostle Paul advises us to practice mutual submission: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Submission begins with listening and knowing when to reconcile because we love Jesus. Here are a few specific ways you may accomplish this in your life:

 

§  First, watch what you say and how you say it. Avoid harsh words, destructive words. Practice more grace-giving than truth-telling.

 

§  Second, remember "Two Stars and a Wish." One of the teachers I know uses this method in grading essays from her students. She gives "two stars and a wish" in response to her student’s work, two things she liked and one suggestion for improvement.

 

§  Third, ask questions. Requests are always met with acceptance better than demands. Instead of telling someone what to do, engage them in a conversation by using relational questions.

 

§  Fourth, say it with a smile. I've come to understand that even if I have to force a smile and upbeat attitude, it helps. When I have bad news to deliver, concentrating on my facial expression and tone of voice makes the difference between acceptance and rejection.

 

Fix that drippy faucet! After all, are any of us really able to get the splinter out of another’s eye without dealing with the log in our own!