Forgiving Others

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:25-32 ESV).

Our reading today seems almost impossible to imagine. Why would anyone be kind to another person unless they deserved that kindness? It certainly is counter intuitive in the typical practice of relationships. Kindness must be earned… right? Well, the Apostle Paul answers that question with a resounding NO. We forgive others because we have been forgiven. We are kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving simple because that’s how God has treated us. Jesus paid the debt we could never pay and died the death we deserved. Based on that truth, we forgive; we release others from their debt toward us, even when they neither ask nor deserve it. Wow! I can hear your thoughts. How can we be expected to do something so difficult? How hard it can be for us to forgive others? How long have we held a grudge against someone, even for a simple mistake? Or how about refusing to forgive someone for saying something that hurt you — perhaps so long ago that you can’t remember what they said? Or maybe the offense was more serious. Perhaps a spouse betrayed you, a coworker lied and got you fired, a parent abused you, or a bully made life miserable for you. Only the grace of God makes it possible to forgive people who sin against us. Only when we begin to realize how much God has forgiven us in Christ can we learn to forgive. I saw a Face Book post several years ago that told the story of Monty Williams, then the Assistant Head Coach of the Oklahoma Thunder, whose wife was killed by an erratic driver, leaving him a single parent with four children. At the memorial service he urged the people there to pray for the driver and talked to them about the importance of forgiveness. He understood the words of the apostle Paul, that we are to forgive each other just as in Christ God has forgiven us. As Christians, we are called to be echoes of God’s forgiveness.