Children - Pt 2

Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away. (Matthew 19:13-15 ESV).

I like the meme I found recently that says, “Don’t raise your kids to have more than you had, raise them to be more than you were.” Positive expectations bring out the best in your child! It works like this: Whatever you focus on, you'll get! It's almost like a natural law! So if you have positive expectations of your child, he or she will do his or her best to live up to them. However, it also goes the other way around. If you expect your child to disobey you, your clever kid will sense this lack of trust and 'obey' your unsaid intentions: You'll get what you expect! So in a way this about choice! Your choice as to what you want! Here are more some practical things you can do to develop these positive expectations. First, expect your child to manage a moderately challenging task and show this trust to your child in an energy of confidence and patience. I find parents often do not communicate their belief that their children can do something. Often we are so unwilling for them to fail that we will do the task for them. This robs them of both the encouragement to succeed and the feeling of success when they do. Second, we should positively prepare our children for upcoming events by talking about them in terms of possibilities and positive expectations. I find the beginning of the school year especially good for this action. Often the newness of the school year brings anxiety. Use this experience with your younger children and adolescents to inspire them with your confidence in their abilities; and, reassure them of your willingness to help. Third, plan for and expect your evenings to be calm, joyful and full of deep presence. It is often so difficult to provide for a calm evening in the home. There are so many tasks we think we must accomplish before bedtime. Some of these anxieties can be eased with the simple implementation of a schedule. Help your children learn the secret of future planning. Train them to understand the pressing nature of future fears. Show them how to overcome the future with a firm anchor in the present and a clear plan for the future. I know I have spoken to “parents” in these last few days. Some of you are single parents, or grandparents raising your grandchildren. These principles, though more difficult still work. Don’t quit on your children. You can do it!