Setting Regret Aside

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained. (Philippians 3:12-16 ESV). In learning how to appropriate the provision of God, especially in the midst of suffering and loss, I suppose we ought to begin at the beginning. That “start” is to set aside regrets. Throughout the course of our lives, we tend to accumulate a considerable list of regrets. The end of life often brings them up again, even when we thought we had dealt with them. I have talked to many people who felt forced in their lives to do things they have come to regret. There are others who have made decisions early in their lives that had they to do them over, would never make those decisions again. The Apostle Paul had his own list of regrets. He even called himself the “chief of sinners” (cf. 1 Timothy 1:15). Yet he was able to say with confidence that the things of the past would stay behind him as he strained forward to reach the goal. How can Paul say that? How can I tell someone struggling with the weight of guilt and shame that they can leave their regrets behind, find forgiveness, and receive a heavenly reward? Paul knows the key: “God has made me his own.” I remember one young lady who I came to know who was very tentative in getting to know me. She was my supervisor in one of the jobs I held briefly. Though I was older and more experienced, the job I took for that brief period of time place me in her supervision. The first day I reported to her for my assignment, she simply said, “I wouldn’t have hired you; but, they didn’t give me a choice.” I asked her why? She simply replied, “Because you are a preacher.” Well, no denying that; but, I really wanted to know why that made such a difference. She went on to share with me her story. At sixteen she made a bad decision that resulted in her becoming pregnant. She was forced to quit high school to have the baby. She decided, against virtually everyone’s advice to keep the child. Her parents were a great help. She went on to finish high school and took a job with a large home improvement store. She worked hard, took extra training opportunities, and advanced to management. At that time her son was ten years old. I was amazed. She looked at me and said, “I wish I had done some things differently.” My reply shocked her. I said, “I am so glad you didn’t do one thing differently. You kept and raised your son. You are a courageous woman.” There was no regret to be had in that. I know that’s not the answer for everyone. But it was her answer. We became great friends. We shared many moments of conversation. She was a good mom. Her son will no doubt be a blessing to others. Nothing you may have done puts you beyond the grasp of redemption. When you face the regrets in your life, you can be confident that God’s grace covers them all. Live into Christ’s future, not your past. Thankfully, my friend learned of God’s grace and found the ability to let go of some of his regrets and find peace. In Christ, so can you!