Words that Change Us

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace. (1 Peter 4:8-10 ESV). Recently, I heard a touching story which illustrates the power that words have to change a life. Sally had grown up knowing that she was different from the other kids, and she hated it. She was born with a cleft palate and had to bear the jokes and stares of cruel children who teased her non-stop about her misshaped lip, crooked nose, and garbled speech. With all the teasing, Sally grew up hating the fact that she was "different". She was convinced that no one, outside her family, could ever love her, until she entered Mrs. Leonard's class. Mrs. Leonard had a warm smile, a round face, and shiny brown hair. While everyone in her class liked her, Sally came to love Mrs. Leonard. In the 1950's, it was common for teachers to give their children an annual hearing test. However, in Sally's case, in addition to her cleft palate, she was barely able to hear out of one ear. Determined not to let the other children have another "difference" to point out, she would cheat on the test each year. The "whisper test" was given by having a child walk to the classroom door, turn sideways, close one ear with a finger, and then repeat something which the teacher whispered. Sally turned her bad ear towards her teacher and pretended to cover her good ear. She knew that teachers would often say things like, "The sky is blue," or "What color are your shoes?" But not on that day. Surely, God put seven words in Mrs. Leonard's mouth that changed Sally's life forever. When the "Whisper test" came, Sally heard the words: "I wish you were my little girl." Moms and Dads, I wish there was some way that I could communicate to you the incredible blessing which affirming words impart to children. I wish, too, that you could sit in my office, when I counsel, and hear the terrible damage that individuals received from not hearing affirming words. While words from a godly teacher can melt a heart, words from a father can powerfully set the course of a life. If affirming words were something rarely spoken in your home growing up, you may find it difficult to give the verbal “atta-boy’s” to your children they need so desperately. Here are just a few suggestions: “I'm proud of you, Way to go, Magnificent, I knew you could do it, What a good helper, You're very special to me, I trust you, What a treasure, Beautiful work, That's so creative, You make my day, You're a joy, Give me a big hug, You're such a good listener, I love you, You're so responsible, You're the best, You sure tried hard, I couldn't be prouder of you, You light up my day, You're wonderful, I'm here for you.” And, for those of you who know me, here is my top two: “Well done!” and “I love you because of who you are, not just what you do!” These are words that change us!