Because of Who They Are

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127 ESV). Today my thoughts turn to family, especially children. There is a message that needs to be drilled into the hearts and minds of every mom and dad: You don't love your kids because of what they do, but because of who they are. Simply rewarding children with affection because of their accomplishments is like a circus trainer giving a dog some food every time he jumps through a hoop. The dog isn't loved for himself, but for his actions. The Scripture is very clear that our children are gifts from God. Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the popular talk show host, has a new book for children titled, "Why Do You Love Me?" Part of the story includes a mother explaining to her son that it is not what he does that makes her love him; she loves him because he is unique and because he is her son. It is a very poignant story as it emphasizes the impact of such love in a child. I know it is difficult for some parents to love their children’s actions. There are those times when the choices they make are very destructive and negative. However, I also know that they are much les likely to make some of those choices when they realize the unconditional love that parent’s have for them. Our best example of this kind of love is in the story of the Prodigal Son (cf. Luke 15). There are two things that stand out most in this story for me. First, there is the patience and love of the father who waits for the son to come home, looking for him every day. And second, I see the forgiveness and acceptance when the son returns. I wonder how much embarrassment he suffered because of the foolishness of his son? I wonder how many times he had to endure the peculiar stares and whispered comments from the local town gossips? How did he endure? I believe the answer is in the fact that he knew the real hurt was not in what others thought about him, but in what his son was doing to himself. Selfless love always focuses on others. That truth is at the heart of loving our children for who they are and not what they do. No wonder he could stand gazing to the horizon, praying and waiting for his son to return. Today, focus your love on who they are, not what they do. God loves you in that way!