Unanimous

So that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:14-16 ESV). I heard what I thought was a very funny commercial on the radio the other day. The announcer was discussing something with a fictional organization he called “Unanimous Anonymous.” It was a support group patterned after “Alcoholics Anonymous,” but for people who always agreed with you. I was so funny that I don’t have the slightest idea what product and/or brand name they were promoting. However, this ad reminded me of people who always agree with everything you say, whether they mean it or not. These are the “golden retrievers” of life who always want to please you. They will give you the answer they think you want. They fall over backwards to help you even when you don't want their help. Or give you things you don't even want. I'm sure you've met one or two in your life. Sometimes these people are untrue to their own self because they are very insecure and have an over-zealous need to please just about everybody in a vain attempt to get approval which they substitute for love. Sometimes they don't have a healthy sense of self-love and acceptance. The reality is that until we can love and accept ourselves in a healthy way, we cannot fully love and accept anyone else because we can't give what we don't have. The way we grow in self-love starts by getting real; that is, by being honest with ourselves and admitting that we feel insecure and don't have a healthy sense of self-love and acceptance. Once I admit that I feel insecure, I can stop trying to prove to myself that I'm okay and get off the endless merry-go-round of trying to please everyone. This can be incredibly liberating. Furthermore, it's the only way I can do anything about my problem. Then I need to admit how I really feel to at least one or two trusted, non-judgmental and supportive friends who won't judge me or tell me I shouldn't feel the way I do. (I feel the way I do because of who I am which has nothing to do with whether I should or shouldn't feel the way I feel. When I am courageously open and honest about myself with these trusted friends and they love and accept me exactly as I am, little by little in time I learn to love and accept myself. It also helps to realize that God loves and accepts us exactly as we are. But he also loves us too much to leave us as we are. He wants us to grow and become whole so his love can flow freely through us to others. However, until we love and accept ourselves God's love is blocked or hindered from flowing freely through us.