Forgiving and Forgetting

And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Matthew 6:5-14 ESV). Bill Vossler was only 7 when he disobeyed his mother and stopped with his younger brother to visit the old couple in the house by the water tower. The man and woman held the boys on their laps, hugged them, and gave them coins and cookies. When Bill showed his mother the coins, she screamed and flushed them down the toilet. "I said stay away from them!" she shouted. "Don't ever go there again. Forget about them!" Not long after that, the old couple moved away and the event faded from Bill's mind. Thirty years later back home on a visit, Bill glanced at the water tower and it revived the memory. He asked his mother about the old couple. "Who were they and why was I supposed to forget them?" Her face turned white. "You really don't know?" she asked. After a long silence she said, "They were Jacob and Christina Vossler. Your father's mother and father. Your grandparents." When Bill was 4, his father had abandoned the family. For years, Bill's stepfather drove the old couple away when they tried to visit. Anger and shame separated the two families. Now that he knew the truth, Bill wondered if he could ever forget his pain and loss. Writing in Hemispheres magazine, Bill Vossler concluded: "Forgetting is only the final step, dependent first on forgiving, forgiving ourselves for our part in the fray and others for theirs. Forgive and forget. It is not coincidence that forgive is first, followed by forget. One frees us to do the other." We often have difficulty with these words of Jesus: "If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Sounding harsh, these words guide us into the process of forgiving and being forgiven which is a marvelous gift from God for all who inhabit this world of pain. There is no escaping the sequence. To be forgiven, you should forgive. To be free, you should forget. How’s your memory?