Happy Anniversary!

Some of you can remember when I had black hair as I do in the picture to the left! This photo was taken on December 21, 1969! It was the day of our wedding, forty-two years ago! Personally I think I really look good in the black framed glasses, though the real beauty is standing next to me!

In fact, that thought provides the bridge for my thoughts today. I could spend a great deal of time (or words in this case) talking about the physical beauty of Mary, however, it is the internal beauty that has made our marriage last these many years. And, it is that kind of beauty that we must all cultivate in our lives if we expect to be able to maintain positive, affirmative relationships in our marriages, families, and lives in general. Perhaps the words of the Apostle Paul, which were used in our wedding, are most helpful in highlighting those characteristics:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. (1 Corinthians 13:1-8 ESV).

I don’t want to minimize the power of patience, kindness, or the other practical things Paul mentions about love. However, the real encouragement is to be found in the clear statement that love never ends!

I have heard so many people tell me they are no longer “in love” with their spouse or a family member. They are talking about the feelings of love and appreciation. Unfortunately they have misunderstood the source of those feelings. They are not rooted in what we do, but who we are. As husband and wife, we ARE in love; therefore we can feel in love. I read a wonderful little illustration some time ago that is so poignant and true:

You can see them alongside the shuffleboard courts in Florida or on the porches of the old folks' homes up north: an old man with snow-white hair, a little hard of hearing, reading the newspaper through a magnifying glass; an old woman in a shapeless dress, her knuckles gnarled by arthritis, wearing sandals to ease her aching arches. They are holding hands, and in a little while they will totter off to take a nap, and then she will cook supper, not a very good supper and they will watch television, each knowing exactly what the other is thinking, until it is time for bed. They may even have a good, soul-stirring argument, just to prove that they still really care. And through the night they will snore unabashedly, each resting content because the other is there. They are in love, they have always been in love, although sometimes they would have denied it. And because they have been in love they have survived everything that life could throw at them, even their own failures.

Mary and I are not ready for the rocking chairs or the retirement home yet, but I am so glad we have learned the real lesson of love. I thank God for such a wonderful loving woman to walk beside me these brief years together. And, I pray for many, many more! Happy Anniversary, Mary!