Poles Apart

Don't brag about tomorrow, since you don't know what the day will bring. Don't praise yourself; let others do it! A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is heavier than both. Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy? Never abandon a friend--either yours or your father's. Then in your time of need, you won't have to ask your relatives for assistance. It is better to go to a neighbor than to a relative who lives far away. As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend. (Proverbs 27:1-4, 10, 17 NLV).

Before fulfilling his dream of walking to the South Pole, environmentalist and explorer Robert Swan set out to choose the right team for that grueling trip. Surprisingly, he chose people who would be difficult to live with. We seldom surround ourselves with people we don't like. So what was Robert thinking?

He knew that people who are easy to live with might also be easy to die with when you're negotiating 853 miles of the most inhospitable land on the planet. Calling one teammate "the most pessimistic person," Robert said, "He won't go shopping unless he has read a weather forecast." But he added, "You need somebody like Roger to be thinking about the worst-case scenario." And of Gareth Wood, Robert said, "He has 10,000 checklists, one for every 5 minutes of his life. That's very, very difficult to live with, but absolutely essential. If equipment breaks on a polar journey, you're dead."

Did you ever wonder why God puts difficult people into your life? Christians are certainly not exempt from personality conflicts. We tend to think in terms of "if only," as in, If only he would just change, or If only she would leave.” Instead, we should be thanking God for that person.

I don't like picky people or the criticism they bring. But I have learned that each of those picky people may have something important to teach me. If their criticism was valid, I needed to make a change and I improved. If it was false, I could learn to shrug it off. Either way, I got the benefit of introspection and resilience. Those challenges tended to drive me to God for His help, which is where I should have been in the first place. That's what the writer of Proverbs was getting at when he said, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” The friction may be unpleasant, but the result is a useful tool, honed to perfection by the challenge of another. Paul compared believers in Christ to a body, and observed that each member of the body has a different gift (cf. Romans 12:6). Rather than being a source of contention, this should make His Church stronger. But it can only do so, as we are willing to work together in love. Robert Swan valued teamwork over personality conflicts. Christians ought to understand that concept, even when their personalities are poles apart.