Mastering Change

"So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life – whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not. "And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he more surely care for you? You have so little faith! "So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:25-34 NLV).

In his book Celebrations of Life, Rene Dubos says that we fear change more today than ever before, and for less reason. The reason you fear change is because you are afraid that you will be worse off as a result. No one fears change that implies improvement. For example, if you learned that you were going to have to change your life-style because you had just won a lottery, this is not the kind of change that you would avoid or anticipate with dread. It is change that implies unpleasant surprises that you fear and become anxious about because it causes you to feel that you have lost a certain amount of control in that part of your life. Because of faith we may become “masters of change.” Faith in Christ allows us to embrace change, to welcome change, and to ride the tides of change. Boat builders know that the deeper the keel of a sailing vessel, the more stable it will be in storms, squalls and gusts of wind. The same holds true for you. The deeper your keel, or the stabilizing factors in your life, the less likely it is that you will be blown over, or off course, when unexpected change occurs. The more your understanding and experience of God grows in your life, the deeper the stabilizing factor of His strength and purpose becomes. This is not to say that you will not experience trials and difficulties. You will experience a continuous series of large and small disappointments and setbacks. That is the nature of life. They are inevitable and unavoidable. Some things work out, and some things don't. Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose. In spite of your best efforts, unexpected and unpredictable events will derail your best-laid plans. Problems, changes are like the rain, they just happen. Let me make a few practical suggestions in deepening your keel to sail the sea of change in your life.

1. The first step in dealing with any change is simply to accept the change as a reality. Acceptance is the opposite of rejection or resistance. Acceptance keeps your mind calm and positive. As William James said, "The starting point in dealing with any difficulty is to be willing to have it so." The minute you accept that a change has occurred, and that you can't cry over spilled milk, you become more capable of dealing with the change and turning it to your advantage.
2. The second step is to ask yourself, "What is the worst possible thing that can happen in this worry situation?" Much worry and stress comes from the refusal to face what might happen as a result of your difficulty or problem. When you clearly define the worst possible outcome, and write it down next to the definition of the problem, you will find that, whatever it is, you can handle it. Mentally resolve that, even if the worst possible consequences ensue from this situation, it will not be the end of the world for you. The very act of accepting the worst possible outcome completes the cycle of eliminating from your mind the stress and anxiety associated with the situation.
3. You are now ready for the third step in dealing with change, and that is to adjust your behaviors and actions to the new situation. Ask yourself, "What are all the things I can do to make sure that the worst possible outcome does not occur?" Sometimes we call this "damage control."
4. The final part of this four-step method for dealing with change is to improve on the existing situation. There is an old saying, "Crisis is change trying to take place." If, instead of resisting change, like a pine tree that snaps in a strong wind, you bend with change, like a willow tree, you will often find that the change is a healthy and positive step toward achieving your goals.