"I Do"

“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.’ So the Lord God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. He took one of Adam's ribs and closed up the place from which he had taken it. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam. ‘At last!’ Adam exclaimed. ‘She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called 'woman,' because she was taken out of a man.’ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now, although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame.” (Genesis 2:18, 21-25 NLV).

Today, forty-one years ago, in Bryan, Texas, Mary and I said, “I do.” They have been wonderful years! I could share many experiences from those years, however, this morning I want to draw your attention to the Scripture and the promise of life. Marriage is a definite part of God’s plan for providing us with lives full of joy. Yet, with many people, joy is the last word they would use to describe their relationships with their spouses.

Perhaps the college students in an English class were correct. It seems the professor wrote the words “woman without her man is a savage” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is a savage.” The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is a savage.” Big difference isn’t it! It serves to remind us there is a vast difference between a man and a woman and their individual views of what a marriage ought to be. Certainly you have heard of the man, who at work decided to show his wife how much he loved her, and before going home, showered, shaved, put on some choice cologne, bought her a bouquet of flowers. He went to the front door and knocked. His wife answered the door and exclaimed, “Oh no! This has been a terrible day! First I had to take Billy to the emergency room and get stitches in his leg, then your mother called and said she’s coming for two weeks, then the washing machine broke, and now this! You come home drunk!”

How can we ever find the way to joy in our relationships? What is the key? While I do not claim to have all the answers, there are some that we may find and apply in our lives. Marriage loses its joy when one or both of the partners feel devalued or less than fully alive. They are bored. Overburdened. All of us have a child’s deep longing to be touched, caressed, held, hugged and kissed, whether we admit it or not. We all want happy surprises. That might mean a sentimental unexpected gift every once in a while. Though, more importantly, it is the dependable gift of time and caring. The present of shared ideas, experiences, stories, nonsense and games. We want the world to butt out. We want a loving friend, a pal who isn’t judgmental. We want someone to convince us we’re still loved, lovable and very special. For a little while, now and then, we want out from under the grown-up responsibilities that have become predictable, dreary and difficult. By working together to accomplish these things in our relationships, we can become the kind of “companions” God intended us to be toward one another. This is true love, the kind of love that does things for the other person. In marriage two become one, but the one isn’t you. It’s the other person. You love this person more than you love yourself. This means that you love this person as she or he is. We ask ourselves frankly what that impulse is that makes us want to redesign a person. It isn’t love. We want the other person to be normal like us. But does that love the other person or us? Love brings out the best in people. They can be themselves without hypocrisy. People who know they are loved glow with beauty and charm. I am thankful for knowing such love. I pray you will know it in your marriage as well! Happy Anniversary Mary! You have given me great joy!